Monthly Archives: October 2017

What Happened to That Person?

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For as long as I could remember, I had been in love with Damon Kent. My family moved away for a few years from the town where I grew up.  During that time, I changed of course and matured into a sixteen-year-old girl who could pass for a twenty-year old young woman with no problem. My foray into big city life had afforded me a new-found confidence, so the summer I returned to my hometown, I called Damon. It was a wildly bold move for me, but my time away had not been the most positive experience. I was hoping Damon would turn into my prince, that he would rescue me from the disappointments that came with maturing way ahead of most of my peers.

Damon and I talked the entire summer vacation. We had long conversations on the phone and my crush intensified. After returning from a place where I had no friends, was ridiculed constantly for my accent, and had to wear my mother’s clothes because nothing in the teen section would fit, I needed the ray of hope he offered. There was only one problem, my imagination was larger than life. I was never satisfied with just a little; I always had to take it to the nth degree, and nothing short of this would quench my hunger for the grandiose and extreme.

I imagined Damon and I walking to classes holding hands, stealing a kiss after study hall, and getting engaged in college. Oh yeah, I took it there and beyond, even though we hadn’t seen each other in four years. Finally, the day arrived. I, not having my license yet, would be taxied to high school to register for classes. Damon was attending band camp at school, and we planned to meet up. Butterflies couldn’t touch the huge pigeons flying around in my gut. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I tried to look my best, and felt confident that I did, but it was no match for the fact that I had grown over a foot taller than Damon. When he and his friends spotted me, they behaved like ten-year-old boys. I pretended not to see them, and soldiered on as I had always done.

He had been so incredibly kind and tender over the summer. “What happened to that person?” I thought. This is a question that seemed to plague many of my relationships, and countless others have asked it regarding those that have hurt and betrayed them as well.

I love the saying “go big or go home!” And one of my scripture favs is Ephesians 3:20 (NKJV), “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” The wonderful truth that God ‘goes big’ when it comes to blessing us floods my heart with joy. Even at some of the worse times of my life, I’ve always known that God wanted the best for me and that more out of life was available, but oddly enough, I looked to others to fill my cup instead of Him.

As the desire to partner took center-stage in my life, my big imagination gobbled up the individuals I dated. It was no way that they could meet those expectations, but I had a huge hole in my soul. I imagined that my love would be reciprocated from the object of my affection in such enormous proportions that it would fill me up and then some.

I needed to be loved, but I had not seen another person give the kind of love that I craved. I couldn’t even figure out how to love ME, with all my awkwardness and quirks. How was it that I expected someone to do for me what I couldn’t do for myself? It was a tough question, and 2Peter 2:9 has the answer. It tells us that the Lord knows how to rescue us from our trials. It finally dawned on me that I had been looking for love in all the wrong places. I needed to grow in the love of Christ, and at first it wasn’t so much about how I loved other people. It was about me allowing the roots of his love to grow down in my empty places. I had to trust that he loved me more than I could ever know. I encountered God’s love, strength and power in a way that anchored me as I had never been in my life.

God’s perfect love is the greatest reality of all eternity. Heavenly Father loved me to deliverance, and then healed my broken heart. My work continues to be one of surrendering my need to control how I’m loved by others, and I find that the more I release my need to control, the more my heart swells with gratitude and love for Christ. People will sometimes turn on us, for seemingly no apparent reason. When this happens, we have to remember that our identities are not shaped by what they give us, but by how we love them and ourselves through Christ. In John 15:9-13 The Message (MSG), He tells us, “9-10 I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love. 11-13 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.”■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “What Happened to That Person?” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

What’s In Your Heart?

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I remember the first time I realized that my actions had caused someone important to me to experience feelings of deep hurt. It was a few months after the incident oddly enough. In the moment it occurred, I was very matter of fact about the harsh words that effortlessly spewed from my lips. I rationalized that I had spoken my truth and the person deserved to be put in their place. This woman considered herself to be a close friend of mine. It didn’t bother me one bit that she would no longer look upon me as the nice person she thought she knew. I didn’t have a filter, and for some reason my emotional register was low on empathy, especially when it came to certain unwise choices and actions that others had made.

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) gives us the mind-and-heart-set that God expects from His children. It says, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving is a beautiful thing, but even though we might have been born-again for years, some Christians haven’t quite hit the mark on these, and I was certainly in that group. Deep down, I carried anger in my heart. I was angry because people had let me down considerably, including the men I had dated.  And to be quite honest, I was a little angry at God as well. I didn’t understand why so much had happened to me, and felt like He needed to cut me a break.

The anger, for the most part, wasn’t overt. It was cloaked in all the Christian niceties that are expected of us. I believed myself to be kind, sensitive, and compassionate, but there were certain areas where all that went out of the window. There were certain characteristics in a person that brought out the worst in me, and for a long time I refused to be held accountable for it.

Galatians 6:7 (NKJV) says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” In other words, if you put it out there, it’s coming back to you. We tend to learn this the hard way. I sowed seeds in the form of hurtful words, and when it came back to me, it did so with a vengeance.

One day, as I was going about my usual business, I overheard a conversation between what I presumed to be two friends; they were sitting at a table behind me as I was having lunch. Their conversation had been initially very jovial, but turned to a subject that should have been a very private matter. One of them made a joke about it, and became critical of the other. She didn’t stop, but seemed to get worse by the moment. I was drawn to listen because there was something oddly familiar about her tone. It slowly dawned on me that I was having a déjà vu moment, and I didn’t like the feeling at all. It was very disturbing. I found myself wanting the other person that was being spoken to in this manner to defend herself, to say something that would cut through the mocking and terribly insensitive words from her friend. I turned around, partly because I couldn’t believe my ears, and partly to make an attempt to show a face of solidarity for someone being treated poorly.

I saw the face of the woman who had sat silently, and the hurt was evident. It reminded me of someone that has grown used to harsh words being spoken to them, and just shuts down when it happens.  I got up to leave, and that’s when I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit say, “This is what you did to Linda.” It felt like I was moving in slow motion when the Spirit’s words hit my consciousness. I got weak in my knees and could hardly stand. The fact that I had injured someone in the way that this woman’s friend had injured her was too much. It pierced me like an arrow, and I cried violently all the way home, and all night long.

It wasn’t just that I had inflicted hurt on another person, but that I had felt no remorse for it. I had been arrogant and puffed up for a long time. I felt the eyes of Christ spotlighting my walk that day, and the remorse I experienced was exceedingly deep. I had been immune to my own propensity to act out of anger and resentment, to leave a trail of bitterness rather than love. I had let the Savior down. I repented of my sin, and he forgave me.

His forgiveness and my realization that I needed to repent were not surface level realities. Deep calls to deep. His forgiveness reaches deep into our hearts, and heals it, but not until we pave the way. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” This verse helps us to better comprehend the omnipotence and omniscience of Heavenly Father. He sees all and knows all. He holds us continually before His face, and He’s looking for those of us with a certain kind of heart.

None of us are perfect. We all have things about us that we need to work on. We’re works in-progress, being perfected in Christ day by day as we trust in him, but we must realize that sometimes things like anger, resentment, and arrogance linger in our hearts. We must have the courage to ask God to show us what lurks beneath the surface, so that we can bring it before Him and repent. He’s looking for a heart that is wanting and willing to empty itself of these remnants of fear, so that He can strengthen us as we remain committed to walk in His love. ■

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“What’s In Your Heart?” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

A Little Piece Here and A Little Piece There

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It is hard to say whether the cases of domestic violence are on the rise. Those that have been abused were silent about it for a long time, so it is possible that there have been more cases of abuse in the past than any of us will ever know. We have been keepers of the secret because we felt we had to be. Exposing the abuser was for many victims a case of life and death, so they continued to suffer silently, but things are changing. A current of unprecedented courage is rising because many are recognizing their strength and unity in numbers, but still so many are choosing to remain in abusive, unhealthy relationships, even when they have more options today than ever before.

God calls upon us to walk by faith and not by sight. One of the things that we have to believe in order to walk by faith is that we are never walking alone. God is with us every moment of every day.  Hebrews 13:5-6 declares that He will never leave us or forsake us; He is our Helper. Romans 8:31 (NLT) asks, “If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” Who is mightier than God? Not one! So, the goal for those of us that are not quite there in terms of believing that God is fully in our corners is to work in the area of our faith. We need to grow in our trust in God, and we also need to learn to lean on Him totally.

There are many that will tell you that they believe and trust Him with their whole hearts, but the grip that fear has on them is evident in their existences. Fear robs us of energy, and one of the ways in which it does this is to prompt us to portion off ourselves. We do this so that we never have to confront the person—the real you—that is underneath the fear, because if that happens, something about the way we’re currently operating will have to change. Many of us are more afraid of change than we are of suffering. So, what ends up happening is that we give a whole lot to the person that is keeping us tied down and oppressed; we give a little to ourselves, and we give God the leftovers.

Heavenly Father is the One with the power. He’s the One with overwhelming love for us, and He’s the One that can heal our lives and cause us to remain in His everlasting peace, but somehow, we convince ourselves that someone else has more power than Him. Jesus Christ instructs us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”  Heavenly Father is holy, omnipotent, and magnificent! He can never, ever be in second place. Trying to put Him there is a strategy that will not work.

He tells us in Hebrews 11:6 that the way to please Him is to have faith. Every single person in the earth is a work in progress. We’re not perfect. We’re not going to get this thing right all the time, but God requires that we have a heart that is eager to please Him. Every day each of us has an opportunity to build our relationship with God and to grow closer to Him. He wants an intimate relationship with each of us. He gave His Son’s life for this to happen. If we’ll make a commitment to trust God more today than we did yesterday, we will be amazed at the difference it makes in our lives.

God tells us in Romans 6:16 (NLT), “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.” Heavenly Father doesn’t want you to be a slave to oppression and suffering. That’s not who He created you to be. He wants you to be whole, and to make you whole He wants all of you; not a little piece here and a little piece there. His plan is to transform us through and through into the person that He has destined us to become. Our faith is strengthened the moment we believe in His power—the moment we believe in His ability and willingness to transform our lives, and the moment we stop believing that anyone is more loving and powerful than He is.

The greatest option before us—the greatest choice before us—is to choose to trust God through Jesus Christ with all our hearts. Let Him help you bring all parts of yourself together in the splendor of what He wants you to be. You can begin this process by doing something to build your faith in Him every day. Read and study His Word more, pray more, and have conversations with Him, so that you begin to recognize His voice. If you’ll do this, your faith in Him will be enriched. Before you know it, you’ll be walking with courage in the freedom of His power, confident that you’re all you need to be, and more. ■

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“A Little Piece Here and A Little Piece There” written by Kyrenee for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

When A Dark Cloud Looms

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Isaiah 26:3(NKJV) tells us, “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” This verse is packed full with luscious truth. Not only does our God offer us His perfect peace, but He will keep us anchored in it if we #1) stay our minds on Him, and #2) trust in His ability and willingness to bless us. It is important to also understand that perfect peace is peace that is perfect. Nothing in this world can keep God’s perfect peace from encompassing total and complete tranquility. It’s both inner and outward peace; it’s peace under any and every circumstance. It’s a peace that defies conditions, and through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, God offers His peace to us freely.

As we look at the condition of the world, with all its corruption and dishonesty, we meet people every day that are bewildered and disillusioned. Their state of mind is the exact opposite of peace. They are filled with anxiety and fear, and many of them are depressed. It’s as if they are living under a dark cloud that follows them everywhere. This is not the kind of life that God intended for His people. He wants us to be happy and blessed. In Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT), God tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

A dark cloud is an emotional state of being that causes a person to feel discouraged and hopeless. It makes you feel bad all the time. It weighs us down, and it can also cloud our judgement, and distort how we view ourselves and others. Many people feel that their conditions and circumstances are the driving force that keeps this cloud looming over their heads, but the Lord Jesus Christ gives us another way. His way will help us to dissipate this cloud into thin air.

In John 14:26-27, Jesus Christ tells us, “26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. 27 I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” We place a lot of pressure on ourselves to put on a happy face when deep down we feel like we’re drowning in sorrow. The reality is that you and I are sometimes unable to muster the courage to dissipate those dark clouds and stand strong amid all the strife and struggles of life. This is why Jesus Christ made the gift of Holy Spirit available to us.

Because of Christ, we have God’s Spirit dwelling on the inside of us. Galatians 5:16 tells us to walk by the Spirit, and then we won’t feed those things that pull us down. 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us how to walk by the Spirit. It tells us to walk by faith, and not by sight. So, as spiritual children made in the image of our Heavenly Father, we must learn to walk in a way that isn’t dependent on what we can perceive with our emotions and five senses. God calls on us to walk by trusting Him, by believing what He says in His Word.

In Ephesians 4:23, God also tells us to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. To renew something is to make it new again. Our minds were not designed to be filled with darkness, but society bombards us with negative messages continually. You and I must combat this by flooding our thoughts and attitudes with the positives of God’s Word. To do this, we must read and study it as often as we can. This is what God created our minds for. He created them to hold the knowledge of Him and His Word. Our minds were created to be filled with light, this is what Ephesians 5:8 means when it tells us to “Walk as children of light”; this way our minds can match the reality of who and what we are in Christ!

God is not going to come inside our heads and empty out our bad thoughts and wipe the slate of our emotions clean. He has commanded us to trust Him, and to believe His Word regardless of what our conditions and circumstances look like. Faith wouldn’t be faith if it didn’t require us to trust in what we cannot see. The Spiritual realm is invisible to our physical eyes, yet, it is more real than what we can see. 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT) tells us, “So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

Faith requires that we shift our focus, so that our intention is on changing the negatives in our minds rather than allowing our emotions to dictate how we respond to life. God’s Word is powerful! Way more powerful than our emotions. Our belief in His promises and goodness should dictate how we feel and act. Our hearts and minds must line up with the thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is how we introduce his light! It’s not an arduous task, but a glorious one, because putting on the mind of Christ allows us to forever rest in God’s peace. In John 14:27, Jesus Christ tells us not to be afraid or troubled, because our God is all powerful, and He loves us. We are never defeated by our conditions and circumstances. When we truly trust our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, he will move those dark clouds, and his love will cover our lives with light. ■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“When A Dark Cloud Looms” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!