Much of domestic violence and abuse is about manipulation. The definition of manipulation is trying to control someone in an unscrupulous or unfair way, and those who practice it will often deny that they’re doing it. There’s hardly anything more exasperating than to believe in your own innocence only to have it turned completely in the wrong direction by someone. It is especially hurtful when that person knows full well that your intentions were in the right place, but makes a sport of trying to make you out to be the bad guy. If you’re dealing with someone that, no matter what you do, you’re always wrong in their eyes, it can be an exhausting way to live.
The truth and a lie do not hold the same authority, no matter how much people try to make it appear as though they do. Someone once said that there are two types of people, those who seek the truth, and those who seek to cover it up. Personally speaking, I think that most folks can only take the truth in small doses, and when overload threatens them, sometimes they completely lose it. They might even try to harm the person that forces them to look truth in the face.
A strange phenomenon can happen when your strength speaks to a person’s weakness. It can be like holding a mirror up for them, and this mirror reflects what they fear the most. Instead of dealing with themselves honestly, they might choose to blame or belittle you for simply standing in your own strength. If no one has told you how strong you are, you might assume that you’re the one that is weak, and the person who manipulates the truth is the strong one. This is the wickedness of abuse, because at its root is the plot to swap truth for terror.
In John 14:1(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” This is a verse of tremendous comfort. The key to keeping our hearts from being troubled is to trust in God and trust in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Those of us that have experienced domestic violence and abuse know that a civil conversation can turn into a heated argument very quickly. The back and forth can be endless. This is why it is important for us to trust in the truth that is in Christ.
Some of us desperately want to be loved, and we will exhaust an enormous amount of energy trying to change a person’s perception of us. This is a battle already fought and won. In John 14:6, Jesus Christ tells us, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” If a person doesn’t understand how incredibly loving, powerful, and strong Jesus Christ is, then they may not comprehend the heft of John 14:6, but if you truly believe in Christ, then you’ll understand that the way has already been made, and through him, we can know the truth. In John 8:32, he tells us that this is what makes us free, it’s knowing the truth of who Christ is. When we know who he is, we then know who we are.
If the color blue is staring a person in the face, and they refuse to call it any other thing but red, convincing them they’re seeing the color blue can be a very difficult and unproductive challenge. Having someone hurt you so deeply and then deny your pain or that they caused it can drive you crazy, and make you question your worth. This is the devil’s trick to undermine your relationship with God. It is to shut you down, so that you do not become anchored and embedded in who you are in Christ.
God warns us through the Apostle John in 1 John 2:26-27The Message (MSG), “I’ve written to warn you about those who are trying to deceive you. But they’re no match for what is embedded deeply within you—Christ’s anointing, no less! You don’t need any of their so-called teaching. Christ’s anointing teaches you the truth on everything you need to know about yourself and him, uncontaminated by a single lie. Live deeply in what you were taught.” Through Christ, the truth lives in you. Live deeply in it! Seek to grow in the strength he provides, and the truth that you are a child of God, baptized in His love, and poised for His purpose will not be denied. ■
Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
“Denying the Truth” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!