Hard to Breathe

Posted on August 28, 2018 by daaorg1214

When a serious relationship ends, it can cause some of the most devastating feelings of sadness. We have no choice but to confront this molasses of heartache and wade through it the best way we can. Struggling with thoughts of facing life alone deepens the pain. You remember what it was like before you were booed-up, and you don’t want to go down that lonely road again. It’s painful to totally invest your hopes for the future in a person that no longer loves you the way you need to be loved. And on top of everything else you’ve gone through, you’re confused, because you gave it your all, and can’t understand why it wasn’t enough to build the relationship you’ve always wanted.

Dealing with emotional issues is challenging, because from a very young age, a lot of us are taught to hide our pain, as if it’s something to be ashamed of. There are so many individuals that are suffering in silence because they don’t believe anyone will understand what they’re going through. For some, the hurt cuts so deeply that it’s difficult to trust there’s anyone who CAN help or offer comfort. The one thing we can’t afford to do is crawl under that rock that seems to be calling our names. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve experienced in the past, when something shakes you to your core, it presents you with an opportunity to see something within that you haven’t seen before.

Spirit isn’t just what we have, it’s who we are. We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Genesis 2:7(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.” We experience the earth in an earth-suit that was made of dust. When our life transitions to the next, and our existence on earth is over, the earth-suit that we’ve been blessed to inhabit for a season will return to that of which it was made. It will return to dust, but 1Peter 1:23 tells us the spirit that has been born-again of incorruptible seed is eternal.

Our pain reminds us of the mortal side, the part of us that is only here on earth temporarily. When we’re cut deep, it’s also a reminder that we need to pay attention to our spirits. The born-again experience through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is the recreation of our human-spirit. Before we accepted Christ, our human-spirit was dead to God, but when we accept Jesus Christ as Lord, our human-spirit comes alive to God. Because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, 2Corinthians 5:17(NKJV) says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” In other words, our human-spirits become new creations, and the Holy Spirit comes to live inside them. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) cosigns this and tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

The Holy Spirit lives inside of our human-spirits. Our spirit and the Holy Spirit are not the same, and it’s so important for us to make this distinction. Romans 8:16(NLT) tells us, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” From the deepest place within, the Holy Spirit reminds us of who we are. Your spirit is the ‘YOU’ you will always be. It is your authentic self, and contrary to how you might feel at any given time, your spirit is always magnificent!

When we lose someone, and the pain of loss makes us feel as though it’s hard to breathe, it’s sometimes an indication that for too long we relied on oxygen from the wrong source. Real love, the kind that comes from Heavenly Father, never stops loving. It isn’t deterred because someone lacked the capability to return it. God breathed our spirits into our bodies, and we became a living person. No one can take what God has given us, UNLESS we allow it. We are our Father’s children. We are love because He is Love. This should forever be the joy of our rejoicing.

Psalm 30:5(NKJV) tells us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Give yourself a small window to feel sad, and for that brief time, feel it as much and as deeply as you can. IT IS a temporary state, one that does not come close to the joy that is before you. Grieve well for the loss of what you thought could have been. Then, turn to Jesus, your Source of light, love, and joy. You gave pain its due, Give God His. Practice patience and faith as you let the Holy Spirit heal you from within. Open your heart to God, and breathe in the joy that only His love can give. ■

Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Posted on August 21, 2018 by daaorg1214

How many times do we tell ourselves that things are going to get better? But day after day, we end up with the same set of disappointing circumstances. You think to yourself, “Hey, I may not be perfect, but I’m a pretty nice person. I treat others with kindness and try not to hurt anyone. When is my time coming? When am I going to catch a break?” I think we would be absolutely amazed to know how many people are feeling the same way. You do your best to run the race that is before you, but you’re feeling like your tank is running a little low. When it’s filled, you don’t want regular, you want high-test. You want the premium stuff. Life is short, and it’s about time for you to experience a little bit of high-octane living.

One of the most quintessential questions asked by anyone inquisitive about the way in which the universe works is “Do bad things happen to good people?” The answer to this question is a resounding “YES!” Indeed, bad things do happen to good people. But how does this square with what we’ve been taught about the moral compass of religious discipline? How does it line up with John 10:10, where Jesus Christ tells us that he came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly? If we are to access what he came to earth to provide, why is it that we can’t access it by being the good people he wants us to be?

It is baked into most people’s psyche that good people are supposed to win. There are many cases, some very public, where the appearance of this belief doesn’t seem to pan out. I don’t know about you, but I can think of many instances where folks that are compassionate, caring, supportive, and sensitive are stepped on. Their kindness is taken for weakness, and they seem to always get the raw end of the deal. It may seem this way sometimes, but God is the One with the final say, and He tells us that if we patiently endure, we will reap the reward.

In order that you and I can have a springboard from which to jumpstart a true understanding of why we’re here and more than that, how to live authentically through Christ, we must make new room in our brain cells for a reality of existence that exceeds the realm of what we call ‘good’. To be frank, according to the truth spoken by Christ in Matthew 19:17(NLT), “There is only One who is good.” And this ‘One’ is God the Father. Our good works and His goodness are nowhere in the same vicinity. As students of Christ, we are learning on earth to become more like him with each passing day, and whether our level of goodness will pass the heavenly sniff test remains to be seen. Our motives are not always pure. But despite our flaws and weaknesses, the reality is that even with our shortcomings, we are sons and daughters of God, and brothers and sisters of Christ. How we come to grips with this awesome privilege and honor, as well as the level of our gratitude for it, will measure the degree to which we live completely, fully, and wholly in the bliss of his glory.

The reality is that just being what we call ‘good’ and sincere is to not going to provide access to the kind of life we want. Something more than being a good person is required of us. After Jesus Christ was baptized by John the Baptist, he was led in the wilderness by the Holy Spirit, and there he fasted 40 days and nights. Afterwards, he was very hungry, and it’s not too much of a stretch to say that his strength was not at full capacity. It was in this very vulnerable state that our Lord and Savior was tempted by the devil.

No greater kindness, compassion, love, and humility exists than that of Jesus Christ. If there was anyone who deserved to be exempt from the darkness of evil and bad things, it was him. Yet, we find him facing this extreme evil at a very challenging time. The devil tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread, but Jesus would not acquiesce to the devil’s level. How did he face it? Matthew 4:4(NLT) tells us exactly how he handled the temptation. He said, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

God tells us in Galatians 6:9-10 that we should never get tired of performing good deeds, and we should do them as often as we have opportunity. He tells us to do good to everyone, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ, but we should be clear that our goodness and sincerity doesn’t exempt us from challenges in life. The issue isn’t what we face, but HOW we face it! We are to lean upon the strength of God. Isaiah 40:29(NLT) tells us, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” Just like our Master Jesus, we must know that true goodness is every word that comes from the mouth of God. His Word is life to us, and if we place our trust in it, He tells us that in due season we will reap a harvest of blessings.■

A Sealed Deal

Posted on August 14, 2018 by daaorg1214

The word of the day is, and will forever be, ‘TRANSFORMATION!’ It’s one of my favorite words, and I absolutely love that it’s one of the Father’s favs as well. In Romans 12:2(NKJV), He tells us, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” In this verse, we learn what NOT to do, and we also learn exactly what we should be doing. The Lord tells us not to be conformed to this world. What does it mean to be conformed? To be conformed to something is to behave, comply, and/or follow the standards that most everyone else in society is following. It’s to adopt society’s culture as your own. Heavenly Father said ‘don’t do it!’

When we talk about culture, we’re not talking about aspects of unique and rich heritages that are passed down through generations and add flavor to our lives. We’re talking about the culture of unbelief and denial when it comes to the truth of God’s Word. The world has turned its back on the righteousness of God and adopted its own standard. We can see all around us that this isn’t working out well at all. God is our Creator, and His Word sets the standard for humanity. It’s a beautiful standard, and it incorporates the best of the best.

In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Only the truth will make us free; we cannot be free by believing a lie. Most of us are taught to conform to everyone else’s thinking, but the Christian is called by Christ to break the chains of conformity and walk in the truth. This is how to be free. Jesus Christ IS the truth! He said in John 14:6(NLT), “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” A lot of us have got some serious negativity going on. We’re down on ourselves, and down on others. That’s not a Christ mindset. We’ve got to let the truth into those negative places in our minds, then we can walk in the extraordinary liberty that Christ extends.

In Romans 12:2, Heavenly Father not only told us what to do, but how to get it done. He said be transformed by the renewing of our minds. To renew is to make new again. This is what we have to do in terms of the way we think. Jesus Christ is Lord because he encompasses every wonderful thing God desires for humanity; it’s all summed up in Christ. And guess what? He gave his life on Calvary so that you and I can know our identity in him, receive the gift of eternal life, and then become ambassadors of his enormous love. Talk about a transformation, this is it!

Jesus was not a head-hanging low, pitiful sounding and looking individual. When he walked the face of this earth, he was the BUSINESS!!! So dynamic, so loving and charismatic; people flocked to him wherever he went. This is the effect love has. It’s magnetic. It’s contagious. Every person that is of love will quite naturally gravitate towards it. You and I are destined to walk in a Christ-kind of confidence; the kind that is full of God’s love.

Confidence and faith begin in the mind, and it’s important to think like Christ to keep our motives pure, with no hint of arrogance or pride. The mind of Christ is pure excellence. His thoughts are those of making life better for everyone. This is the mindset that God expects us to emulate. 2Corinthains 10:5 tells us to capture every rebellious thought and teach them to obey Christ. We can do this because God has equipped every thinking individual with the capacity to examine their thoughts. We can look at them from every angle, and then decide whether to keep them, straighten them out, or throw them away.

We have it on God’s authority that transformation begins in the mind. It’s where the spiritual war is waged, and we must be relentless to stand our ground on the truth of who and what we are. 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” We’re not defeated, powerless creatures who are meant to be sad all our lives. Christ declared that through him we’re more than conquerors, and God has given us a spirit of love, power, and self-control to seal the deal. Be about the business of renewing your mind to your Christ identity. Philippians 1:6(NIV) tells us “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” You’re a masterpiece in the works! Study the truth, let it permeate your entire existence so that the love of Christ can continue the transformation in you that he has begun.■

When ‘Not Enough’ Is Too Much

Posted on August 7, 2018 by daaorg1214

An acquaintance broke up with a man she had been seeing for five years. She thought the relationship would end with a proposal. Even though he told her many times that he wasn’t the marrying type and didn’t see a family in his future, she kept hoping. Sometimes, we trip this way. We stroll on the sidelines of arrogance without realizing it. Somewhere in the back of our minds is the notion that our love is so awesome and we’ve got it going on to such a degree, that not only will we make a person totally change their minds, we’re going to make them change their hearts. It seems like a noble cause, but one that can easily undermine our faith and do a serious number on our self-esteem.

Love is a spiritual thing. You can’t hold it in your hands. You can’t touch it or mold it like clay into anything you want it to be. Yet, it is the most dynamic and powerful reality that any of us can ever be blessed to experience. 1John 4:8(NLT) very simply tells us, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Our Heavenly Father is the embodiment of love. It’s not only what He does, it is who He is. Everything about Him oozes it and slathers us in His warm and powerful yumminess. He loves us with an everlasting love, the kind that only He can give; and through His unyielding love, He attaches Himself to us through Christ.

Jesus Christ said in John 3:16(NLT), “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Heavenly Father has demonstrated the depth of His love by giving His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us on the Cross of Calvary. He gave the gift of His Son’s life so that we would have the opportunity to live an eternity with Him. It will take an eternity for God to show us how much He loves us. Yet, it cannot be lost on any individual that with this enormous love that God bestows on each of us, He will never make us love Him back.

Our Heavenly Father shows us by example how love behaves. It doesn’t force, coerce, manipulate, shove, or push. Love is a magnet that ultimately attracts its match. This is one of the reasons that God wants us to be patient as we grow in a fully mature, Christ-kind of love. He knows that when we put this high-quality goodness out there, it’s coming back to us in greater quantity and quality. Jesus Christ cosigned this in Luke 6:38 when he said that what we put out there determines what we get back.

The woman who remained in a relationship for five years, snatching crumbs, knew deep down that this man was incapable of providing a feast. He was not able at that time in his life to love her the way God desires her to be loved. It’s sad to say, but there are some people that have made a commitment to selfishness, and they’ve mastered emotional unavailability. They know how to manipulate ‘not enough’ in such a way that you cast all your hope on it. This is when ‘not enough’ is too much.

All of us are on a journey, searching for something. Sometimes we meet individuals that give us a hint of what we’re searching for, and we convince ourselves that the good part will come later. Spiritual maturity will lead you to discover that what you’re searching for is the love of God. It needs to go deep within you so that you’re never starving from or feasting on emptiness. Only the love of Christ can give you the wisdom to discern well, so that you don’t expend energy and make emotional investments that subtract from your destiny.

2 Peter 1:5-9 The Message (MSG) says, “So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.”

Grow in the love of Christ. That’s the goal! That’s where you’ll find the rich treasure of love that fills your cup. Let God have His way with your heart. Spend time allowing Him to develop His love in you. Study His Word, and talk with Him often. In due season, He will reward you with the person who matches your capacity to love, and you’ll feast from the Father’s table together. ■

Bloom Where You’re Planted

Posted on July 31, 2018 by daaorg1214

The dictionary defines happiness as the state of being happy. It then goes on to list synonyms like pleasure, satisfaction, joy, delight, and contentment. The most definitive aspect of happiness is that it motivates every human being to seek it out. This gives us a clue about the value of this state of being, and how important it is to having a positive human condition. It’s true that happiness can have meanings as varied as each individual, but the commonality is found in the reality that it is indeed a journey that all of us will undertake. We all want to be happy, and it matters greatly to God how we seek it out.

Everything has a root, a beginning from where it derives its purpose and reason for existing. Our Heavenly Father created human beings with enormous capacity, and one of our most profound elements is the ability to experience joy. God is the Source of everything, and most of us understand this. We should also understand that happiness is rooted in joy; it’s not the other way around.

Joy is an inside job. There are individuals that walk into a room and light it up simply with their presence. You might find yourself envious of people like this because you think they have something you don’t. The thing that these people possess is the knowledge about the wealth that God has planted within them through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He has made it possible for us to experience a joy that is everlasting, and this produces a happiness that isn’t dependent on conditions or circumstances.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT) tells us, “22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Joy is one of the yummies that God gives us by way of Holy Spirit. This is an incredibly important truth, because many of us spend the spiritual journey of life searching for happiness in all the wrong places. Some of us try to force ourselves to be happy because we think that’s the right approach, but our Heavenly Father has clued us in on the truth. Joy is a spiritual fruit that is produced by the Holy Spirit. Looking outside of ourselves for something that can only be found within will not help us to reach our destination.

Being happy will also require us to accept another important truth. It is the reality that you and I are in the fruit producing business. Anything that does not grow will die, and in order to grow, we have to sow. Jesus Christ taught us this in Luke 6:38(NLT), where he gave us production instruction. He said, “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He’s teaching us here how to bloom where we’re planted.

Our happiness must be cultivated from within. Not only do we have the privilege and ability to sow it into the lives of others, but we can have an earnest expectation that when we do, it will be returned to us. It will be poured into our laps with the same loving, abundant heart of which we sowed. When you understand the magnitude of the gift that God has given you through Christ, and the empowerment that is attached to it, you will see yourself in a whole different light.

You don’t have to travel the world or move to a different town to change your life. Colossians 1:10(NLT) says that if we put on the knowledge of Christ in our minds and allow it to sink into our hearts, “Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” You’ve been empowered by God to bloom right where you are, so see yourself as someone who is blossoming into the fullness of all you’re destined to be. Happiness is anchored in the inner sanctum of your being! You can plant ‘happy’ seeds because through Christ the root of JOY is within you! Choose to sow seeds of happiness. Our Master guarantees they will grow!■

Trying to Jump Double Dutch with Chains

Posted on July 24, 2018 by daaorg1214

My cousin, Malaysia, is a New Yorker to her core. Born and bred there, she visited her southern relatives only during the summer months, on school vacations. It was on one of her southbound excursions that she introduced Double Dutch Jump Rope to her young cousins. My sisters and I were giddy as all get out. We couldn’t wait to show our neighborhood friends this new city-slick trick. I’m a small-town girl from the backwoods of Georgia, and I’m both humbled and honored by my roots, but we were a little slow back then when it came to being up to snuff on the latest. Cable television was virtually nonexistent (I’m dating myself), and the internet was for us an unexplored frontier. In our huge backyard, we jumped rope; played hopscotch, dodgeball, and kickball, but Double Dutch was a whole other level of fun. It took skill, and my cousin was oh so sassy with it. I had as much rhythm as she did, but those egg-beating ropes were too much for me to maneuver. I couldn’t get the swing of jumping in at the right time. Suffice it to say, I never quite got the hang of Double Dutch.

Watching the double ropes twist and turn, I was captivated by the dare to jump in and immediately synchronize my jumps with the swing of those ropes. The thing with most of us is that even after we grow into adults, we never stop wanting to jump in. Our Heavenly Father designed life to be an ever moving dynamic. It neither slows down or speeds up according to our schedules. If we lack the agility to keep up with its pace, it will pass us by; and if we try to move ahead of it, life has a way of slowing us down. And sometimes that’s not so pretty.

All of us are trying to achieve a rhythm in life that moves harmoniously with its flow. Like Double Dutch, we jump in it, not thinking for a moment about who’s actually turning those ropes. We can be easily tricked this way. In 2Samuel 22:6 (NLT), David sang a song about how God rescued him from his enemies. He said, “The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.” We can become so entangled with troublesome relationships and situations that ropes feel like chains, trapping us with such emotional turmoil that we feel powerless. We want to love and be loved, but the person turning our ropes is toxic, and we don’t know how to jump out.

Double Dutch is fun, no question about that, and those that are good at it make it look effortless. They make the dare seem well worth it, but life isn’t always easy. Even though it is often filled with fun and excitement, it can be wrought with entanglements.

My cousin did her best to teach me the ropes, but I couldn’t synchronize my moves with the pace of the person doing the turning. Many of us need to recognize when this happens in life. Whenever we are out of synch with God’s timing, peace, and love, it’s because we’ve given the wrong person the ropes; and they will most assuredly turn into chains.

We don’t have to be experts at jumping in order to master life, but it is unequivocally and resoundingly true that life requires a Master. As men and women who dare to live the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ made available, we desperately need him at the helm. Psalm 129:4 says that the Lord will cut us free from the ropes of the ungodly. He will guide us in our lives and help us keep pace with all that God has in store for us. I suppose jumping Double Dutch with chains is possible, but where’s the fun in that? It’s not the way God intends life to be lived. If we will just give Him the ropes, we can jump in synch with His love, and never have to worry about jumping out. ■

Wait on God’s Green Light

Posted on July 17, 2018 by daaorg1214

We live in a society that is increasingly poopooing the notion of winning a competition or being competitive. This is not going to be an opinion on whether that is an appropriate attitude, but this is most certainly a stand on the truth according to God’s Word. The gray area that everyone loves so much makes people feel comfortable, but it doesn’t cut it when it comes to living according to God’s standard. We either believe His Word and live it or we don’t. He has charged every human being with the responsibility of discerning right from wrong, light from darkness, and good from evil. Jesus Christ contrasts it best in John 10:10(NLT), where he tells us, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” Contrary to what many people would have us to believe, there is a devil; he’s Heavenly Father’s archenemy. His number one mission is to steal, kill, and destroy lives. If we don’t know how to properly discern, we might attribute the destruction that comes from the pit of hell as acts of God, and the loving kindness that comes from heaven as a plot from the devil.

When it comes to competition, there’s a level of compassion and caring in not wanting anyone to feel left out or that their efforts are substandard, but when it comes to the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ has made available, distinction and discernment is a must. God gives us a very important piece of wisdom regarding His Word. In Hebrews 4:12, He tells us that His Word is alive and active, that it’s sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel. It can divide the soul from the spirit and joints from marrow. His Word is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of our hearts. This is beyond razor sharp, and Heavenly Father has given us such a precise and on-point tool because we need it.

We need it because we have an adversary that tries on every hand to rob us of the life that God desires us to have. Heavenly Father will always dream a bigger dream for us than the one we dream for ourselves. He’s rooting for us to live the best life of which we’re capable, but it is important for us to discern the difference between the world’s definition of the best and God’s definition of the best. In many, many cases, these are two very different things.

Proverbs 14:12(NLT) tells us, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” Sometimes, we’re all over the map because we’re not clear regarding our purpose or who God wants us to be; we’re not clear about the direction to take in life. This is a vulnerability that the enemy can use against us. One of the ways he does this is by sending situations and people into our lives that look like the blessing we desire, but they aren’t. We are sometimes tricked this way because we haven’t learned to discern, or because we don’t wait for God’s green light.

Jesus Christ told us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God and His righteousness before we do anything else. Before we take that first step, we need to consult with the Father for guidance and direction. The answer from Him isn’t always on the double. Our patience and endurance to wait on the Father is absolutely essential, because He will never lead us astray. His blessings bring peace, wholeness, love, and rest for our souls. Whenever any of His yummies are missing, the light is still red.

As we sharpen the tool of discernment, we need to be patient, because God will show us what is best for our individual journeys. Romans 8:28 says that He causes all things to work together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. There’s a synchronization to our lives when our hearts are set on pleasing God and doing what He asks. Don’t make the mistake of veering off the path He’s laid before you. Ask for God’s help and wait for His green light before you act on decisions and choices. He loves you, and will direct you on the best path for your life if you’ll allow Him. ■

Is It Love or Obsession?

Posted on July 10, 2018 by daaorg1214

In any relationship, whether it’s your own emotional state or the person you’re involved with, questioning whether love or obsession is at the root is extremely important. In God’s Word, He gives us very clear information on how love behaves—what it does, and what it produces. One of the biggest mistakes we make when it comes to loving anyone is to kick humility to the curb, and think that our brand of love is all that and a bag of chips. God is our wonderful Creator. He’s all powerful, all knowing, and intelligent beyond anything that you and I can fathom. On top of all this fabulousness, 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. So, you and I can be confident that God is the definitive authority on love. Makes no sense to think that we know all the ins and outs when it comes to such an important subject, but many of us think that we do, and boy does this get us into trouble.

My grandmother would say, “There’s a right way to do things, and there’s a wrong way.” God’s way will forever be the right way. His way allows us to maintain loving relationships that are in balance. A relationship that is in balance is one where the love we extend and receive is not masqueraded by obsession, because when this happens, we’re no longer in safe territory.

One of the most critical truths that any spiritual person can know is that everything is indeed spiritual; and when I say ‘everything’, I mean EVERYTHING! Every experience, occurrence, event, activity, person, place, or thing is spiritual. Hebrews 11:3(NLT) tells us, “By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.” God made everything, and everything that we cast our eyes upon in this universe was produced from something that we can’t see with physical eyes. God warns us in 2Corinthians 4:18 not to focus on the things that can be seen. He tells us that the things we can’t see are more real than what we can see, because the things we CAN see are temporary, and the things we can’t see last forever.

We humans like to think we’re the cat’s meow, but when it boils down to it, we’re here on this earth today and gone tomorrow. If we’re blessed, we’ll live a long life, but it can’t be lost on us that our bodies have only a temporary existence. The soul is what God is after, because through Christ, we become eternal beings. So we absolutely have to pay attention to our souls, because the soul helps us to respond to God’s Spirit.

1John 4:16(NLT) tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” This is why we have to get this love thing right. If we’re tipping over to the obsession side of things, love is no longer present. That’s because obsession is a form of fear, and fear is the aesthesis of love. The two are polar opposites, so much so that God tells us in 1John 4:18 that there is absolutely no fear in love, because love cancels out fear—just wipes it out—demolishes it. Flip the switch, and the same is true about fear. Fear cancels out love.

Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first. It’s must be our primary step before we think to do anything else. But instead of seeking God as our primary step, a whole lot of us seek the love of a person first. This is the number one sign that we’re headed for trouble. We can never look to a human being to give us what only God can give. Many of us have big, gaping holes in our souls. Either because we weren’t loved and nurtured well as kids, or we were wounded in places that haven’t yet healed. Whatever the case, we sometimes look for those holes to be filled in the wrong way and by the wrong source. The remedy is to choose God’s love by being committed to live by the example of Christ.

God has given us the ability to make choices that keep us on the right path of His love. Some of us have ferocious appetites for emotional nourishment, but we can’t let it make us dependent on harmful and parasitical relationships. As one of God’s children, you owe it to yourself not to try and feast off crumbs. You want to be able to love in a healthy way, so that you receive it in a healthy way. Get on solid footing and choose the love of God in Christ! He’s the ONE who loved you first. His love heals, restores, renews, creates, and produces good things. Choose to accept God’s love in your empty places, and let Him teach and help you steer clear of obsession. ■

Broken Pieces of that Old Worn-Out Life

Posted on July 3, 2018 by daaorg1214

Sometimes we want a warm body close to us so badly that we make all kinds of excuses for the person’s bad behavior. My friend, who I’ll call Henrietta, is like this. Hen (we’ll call her that for short) has a larger than average body frame. She also has incredibly big feet for a woman whose only five feet, five inches tall. She’s always been self-conscious about her weight, and back in the day, before the beauty of a thicker frame was as accepted and celebrated as it is today, folks would say to her, “You’ve got a cute face.” All big girls know this used to be code for face—pretty, body—not so much.

Henrietta’s mother, a single parent, was not really the supportive type. She loved her daughter to pieces, but didn’t do a whole lot for Hen in the self-esteem department. Henrietta was starving for validation, and growing up, any boy that showed her attention was immediately the rescuer who was going to make all her dreams come true. She magnified the most insignificant gesture of courtesy. They used it to try and get what all teen-age boys want to get. Afterwards, they’d immediately ignore her, make fun of her behind her back and sometimes in front of her face. For some reason, she never seemed to be angry with them about how they treated her. For the longest while, nothing about her puzzled me more than this.

As a bet, one guy asked her to prom, knowing full well that he never expected to take her. Even after the disappointment of it all, she made excuses for him. One would think that after experiencing many heartbreaks, Hen would have changed her view of things. As a full-grown woman, the lens from which she views potential users has only improved a smidgen, and even that might be overstating it. The odd thing is that if one of her girlfriends steps to her the least bit shady, Hen will let them have it, but with a man who shows her a little bit of attention, it’s a completely different story.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this has absolutely nothing to do with the man, and everything to do with how Hen feels about herself. What is it that she refuses to confront? Why is her refusal so vehemently entrenched that she would rather allow herself to be relegated to second or below, than to acknowledge her pain?

Sometimes it’s easier to try and squeeze a drop of love from a spoiled low-hanging fruit than to reach for a plump delicious one at the top. The thought of the disappointment that comes from reaching and not attaining is too much for some. This is especially true for those that have experienced devastating disappointment before. A parent who abandons, a loved one who died and left us before we were old enough to adequately process the loss, a precious relationship that is irreparably damaged; these types of wounds can set us up for believing the wrong things about ourselves and the wrong things about others.

Heavenly Father knows when there are events in our childhoods that can cause us to make poor choices and bad decisions in adulthood. As children, we’re not always in a position to change course, but as adults, we’re responsible for examining our lives, and seeking God for help. He tells us in Romans 12:2 not to be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. So, you and I can make the choice to change the way we think, and thereby change the course of our lives. This truth is cosigned in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), where God tells us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” But instead of doing this—instead of renewing their thoughts to the mind of Christ and accepting his love into their hearts, many people run from the healing they need most.

A closed heart can be nurtured by the genuine love of an open one. This is where the extraordinary love of Christ comes in. Romans 8:39 tells us that nothing separates us from his love. In Revelation 3:20(NLT) he said, “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” Jesus continually knocks at the door of our hearts. We need to let him in, and we also need to know that it only takes the tiniest opening for a miracle to happen.

God is calling us to newness. 2Corinthians 5:14(NLT) tells us, “Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.” When Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross, so were all who accept his love in their hearts. We were right there with him, dying to our old selves and being born again anew! He came to give us a life that is more than abundant, where God’s mercies are new every day!

If a person doesn’t know what the sacrifice of Jesus Christ has made available to them, they might continue to pick up broken pieces of that old worn-out life. They don’t know that as hard as they might try to put them back together again, it won’t work. God is the healer of broken hearts; as a matter of fact, that’s His specialty. Because of the issues that we’ve dealt with, for some self-sabotage is set on repeat. This is a pattern that can be changed. If we’ll ask him, the Lord Jesus Christ will help us walk in our new life, and we can learn to leave the broken pieces of the past behind us. ■

Quaneesha, the Dragon Slayer

Posted on June 27, 2018 by daaorg1214

Whenever the subject of anger comes up between Christians, its common to hear a rationale that goes something like, “Well, Jesus Christ got angry when he turned over the tables in the temple, so it’s okay to be angry.” Ephesians 4:26(NKJV) tells us, ““Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,” This gives us some meaningful context about the emotion of anger. We all get angry from time to time. God warns us not to allow our anger to control us, particularly to the point of carrying it with us to bed at night. The problem is that many of us not only let the sun go down on our wrath, we harbor it to full-blown deep and tormenting resentment. That’s when anger insidiously betrays us. It can explode out of nowhere.

Typically, deep-seeded anger is different from that of ordering two fast food hamburgers and finding only the buns with nothing between them when you get home. Still hungry and mildly frustrated, most of us would get over this fairly quickly. But in today’s climate, even simple mishaps and seemingly minor infractions have caused some people to go completely off. It doesn’t take much to surmise that a powder keg has been simmering underneath, waiting for an opportunity to unleash. We see a lot of this expressed through road-rage, something that was virtually unheard of some twenty years ago.

Road-rage was Quaneesha’s wake-up call. She never learned much about cleaning up a kitchen or tidying up a living space, but the one thing she keeps immaculate is her car. It’s a bucket, but it’s hers, and she cherishes that car. She didn’t think she’d ever have a car of her own because for the longest while she lacked the confidence to drive. Even after a few driving lessons, she was convinced that she’d never be able to do it. She was 26 years old when she discovered that driving wasn’t nearly as scary as she once thought, and now she loves to drive.

Her abuser used her insecurity about driving to keep her isolated, afraid, and under his control. God has given us many precious gifts. He’s given us the authority to succeed and triumph in our own personal lives, and to live them to the fullest. The one thing that He did not give us was power over another person’s free-will choice. 2Corinthians 3:17 tells us, “For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” Liberty is a defining characteristic of the goodness of God. He’s given it to us through Jesus Christ, and in Galatians 5:1, He warns us to never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on us!

The ugliness of our own fears is that sometimes we grow dependent on others in extremely detrimental ways. We allow them to usurp the liberty and strength that God has given us. We develop a habit of moving from fear to fear. Growth is stunted and self-confidence is compromised whenever we attempt to swap one form of bondage for another. We were created to live free.

Abusers prey upon our weaknesses and fears, and often use them to gain and maintain control over us. God tells us in Romans 8:37 that we’re more than conquerors through Jesus Christ, who loves us. I don’t care how weak or strong we believe ourselves to be, through Christ, we are always exponentially stronger than we think. Quaneesha witnessed this when her abuser and ex-boyfriend, Richard, was involved in a road-rage incident that almost cost them their lives. When it happened, he tore out of his car without any regard for his own life or her safety. It was the wrong place, the wrong time, and the wrong people to mess with, and Richard almost didn’t survive the showdown. To save them both, Quaneesha had to drive, there was no other way.

She saw Richard in a different light. It made her face the reality that she had spent most of her life on the edge, all because she feared someone else’s rage. Until that moment, she had not realized how exhausted she was with living that way. Richard had not protected her, as a matter of fact, the thought had not even crossed his mind. Rather, she protected him. Sister girl drove that night!!! She faced double jeopardy and slayed that dragon of fear and oppression. Quaneesha kept right on driving. She drove Richard out of her life and her out of his. Through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we’re stronger than we think, and as our trust in him grows, so will our confidence in ourselves.■

Domestic Abuse Awareness.Org

Breaking the chains of domestic abuse through the power of Jesus Christ.