Category Archives: Your Relationship with God

Convinced of His Love

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Colossians 2:10 (NLT)
“So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.”

When relationships don’t work out, it can be devastating to our lives, especially when it’s clear that our partner’s feelings have changed for us. When things were good, you never thought that he would betray your trust and diminish what you brought to the relationship. You were friends, and you can’t believe that your friend would cause you so much heartache. When we go through hurtful situations like this, the emotions and feelings we experience from the aftermath can be very surprising.

One of those surprising feelings is the sheer terror that we experience internally from the loss of the relationship. We don’t quite know what to do with it, and the anxiety it causes sometimes makes us do things we never thought we would. Some of us will badger the ex or worse, go after his new girlfriend. We lose it emotionally, and we’re terrified of reaching the bottom of all that pain and only find that there’s more of it.

God commands us in Psalm 37:8(NLT), “Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper–it only leads to harm.” When we use profane language, slander, and violence as a way of coping with pain, we’re providing an opening for satan to punish us more. When we take our disappointment, anger, and sadness out on others, we’re punishing ourselves by digging a deeper hole of darkness. These are actions that keep us separated from the right person that God has ordained to walk with us through life. Actions that go against the grain of God’s love are never sanctioned by Him. Jesus Christ offers us the best way to deal with our heartache, and it requires us to keep a steady head, a stable heart, and a deep commitment to prayer.

Another emotional low is the dip in our self-esteem when someone falls out of love with us. We sometimes beat ourselves up for not recognizing the signs, or we become depressed because we think we’re not enough or not loveable. Feeling this way is a sure indicator that we need to seek the Lord with all that we are. We allow a broken relationship to injure our self-esteem because we depended way too much on another individual to validate our self-worth.

Only God can validate our worth, and He did this thousands of years ago when He sent His only begotten Son to the earth to give his life as a sacrifice for our sins. If we treasure the gift of eternal life, and if we honor our relationship with God, one of the things we must make absolutely sure we never do, and that’s nullify the cross of Christ in any way. Jesus died for us, and this shows us the depth of God’s love, and the depth of Jesus’s love. If we have placed more focus on our pain than we do on the suffering of Christ, we need to make a change, and do it quickly.

1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”  We are God’s children. We belong to Him totally and completely. Christ purchased us from the realm of darkness with his blood. So, we should never look to another human being for validation. Do as Jesus Christ commanded the disciples in Matthew 10:15(NLT). If a household did not accept his message, he told the disciples to “shake its dust from your feet as you leave.” In other words, Jesus is instructing them to shake off the rejection, the sadness, the putting yourself down, and continue walking in the confidence of who God has made you.

We must have faith in our Heavenly Father. Be convinced of God’s love for you and let that be your anchor continually in life. We hurt down deep because we haven’t allowed that place to be exposed to the love of Jesus Christ. We can change this. We must pray for God’s healing, commit ourselves to be guided by His Holy Spirit, and have the courage and faith to push past the fear.

As a woman of God, you are never to be stuck in the quicksand of doubt and self-sabotage. Shake that loose! You are a child of the King. Let the love of Christ be your everlasting garment, and never stoop so low as to want someone that doesn’t want you. If the brother has not chosen to value you as God’s daughter and to see you as the treasure God created you to be, shake it off, bid him well, and in God’s grace, keep it moving.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Convinced of God’s Love”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God is With You

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Isaiah 41:10(ESV)
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God is with us when we go through some of the darkest times of our lives. When we feel lost and don’t know what to do, and we’re wondering how we ended up in the space and place we’re in, we can be encouraged in the Lord. Our Heavenly Father is with us all the time, and He is always willing and able to help us in our times of need. Sometimes, we let our feelings get in the way of accepting this truth. Then we fail to acknowledge the presence and power of God. Romans 8:1(NKJV) says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Feelings of condemnation can enter the picture when we don’t feel good enough, or we think that God won’t hear our prayers because we’ve done wrong things. This isn’t true, and we shouldn’t let feelings of unworthiness keep us from reaching out to our Heavenly Father.

God tells us in Revelation 22:13 that He is Alpha and Omega, the first and last, and the beginning and the end. He knows the end at the beginning, and He knows the beginning at the end. He’s not forgetful, and there isn’t anything that He does not know. He said in Isaiah 55:9(NLT), “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” God has all power and intelligence, and our problems and issues are never too big for Him to solve.

Domestic violence and abuse usually occurs in the shadows, and most victims try to keep it hidden, but we can’t hide it from God, although many of us behave as though we can. We might think He doesn’t see our pain and that He will not help us escape the constant fear that many live under. With those who suffer domestic violence and abuse, relationships become an emotional roller-coaster. The abuser may be charming and sweet at times. They are often apologetic and very passionate, and this leaves us torn between staying and leaving. It’s also the reason that many individuals remain in abusive and unhealthy relationships. They feel imprisoned on so many levels, but rest assured, through Jesus Christ, there is a way of escape.

Abusive relationships and situations can bring a lot of shame as well as other emotions that keep us living life on the edge, but no matter the circumstance, we can’t limit what God can do to bring us freedom and wholeness. Things happen in this world that we live in that are brutal, chaotic, and bring a lot of suffering. This gets complicated by our lack of knowledge about our identities in Christ and a misunderstanding of who God is. Proverbs 19:21(ESV) tells us, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” The burdens of life weigh heavy on us, so much so that we forget that God has a purpose for our lives, and there’s no way to get around the reality that His purpose must be fulfilled.

God’s purpose is for us to live in Christ, to be in relationship with Him through Christ and to do all the good things that He planned for us long ago. His purpose is not for us to be abused in any way or to suffer in life, and we must allow for the reality that our minds and hearts need to change to see His love in a greater way.

We should never allow anything to cause us to shrink away from God. He knew the mistakes we’d make before we made them. He knows our weaknesses and said in 2Corinthians 12:9(NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” The most important thing in life is to be in relationship with God. It’s so wonderful to know that our relationship with God isn’t dependent on us and how much we love Him, it’s all about Him and His love for us, because He loves us no matter what. So, the very best thing we can do for ourselves is to acknowledge and be thankful that God is always with us. He is always willing to come to our aid, and if we ask Him in prayer, He’ll take the things we did wrong and use them to teach us to love Him, ourselves, and others through His grace, strength, and power. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God is With You”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Unfamiliar Pain

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Many of us are struggling with sadness because we’ve been emotionally hurt so badly in the past. When it comes to relationships, we might feel as though we can’t catch a break. Nothing seems to go as we planned. Why does finding and keeping love seem to be so difficult? All we want to do is love someone in a way that is fulfilling and meaningful, and we want to receive that same quality of love back. It’s simple enough, but the truth is that not everyone knows how to love in a fulfilling and meaningful way. Many individuals are not interested in giving quality love, even when they receive it. When we end up choosing someone like this as a partner, we sometimes set ourselves up for heartbreak. That’s not easy medicine to take, but it can heal our hearts if we’re willing to listen to God’s direction and instruction. 

We know what kind of over-the-counter medicine to take for a headache or a common cold, but gut-wrenching heartbreak is unfamiliar pain. It’s not like breaking a bone. It’s a wound we can’t touch and an ache that no pill can take away. This unfamiliar pain is probably the only kind that’s on repeat in the lives of so many people. The reason for this is because we continue to make the same choices and same mistakes when it comes to significant relationships.

After a heartbreak, some of us end up in a very lonely place, and we’re in a position where loneliness continues to persist. One of the major factors in our struggle with relationships and loneliness is our habit of making wrong choices and decisions. Take Lexie for example. Three years ago, she did everything but kidnap Devin and force him down the aisle to get him to marry her. He didn’t want to get married, but he was no match for Lexie’s persistence. Her last two long-term relationships had ended because of it, and she refused to accept any more rejection. Devin went along with the big extravagant wedding and honeymoon that Lexie had always wanted, but soon after, it was clear that the marriage wasn’t going to last.

Proverbs 2:6(ESV) tells us, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” The wisdom to make good choices and decisions comes from God, from reading and studying His Word. Lexie wasn’t interested in God’s wisdom. She didn’t ask for it and wouldn’t follow it. She had a habit of jumping into relationships too soon, and often with the wrong person. She set unattainable expectations and was in denial about a lot of red flags that would have helped her avoid the heartbreak that inevitably came her way.  Divorced for a year now, Lexie hasn’t changed. She hasn’t dated anyone seriously, but if a willing vessel came along, she’d do things exactly as she has in the past.

Like Lexie, many of us have made choices that we initially thought were very good and it ended up being very bad. We led, not with wisdom, but with our hearts. We took a leap and did so because everyone says that this is what we should do. “Follow your heart…” they say. “Your heart will never steer you wrong…” we’re told. Jeremiah 17:9(ESV) tells us about the human heart and how fickle and deceptive it can be. It says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” There’s nothing more deceptive than the human heart, and that’s why we should never lean on our own understanding about things. We must lean on the Lord.

Life will reveal that making important decisions and choices by our hearts is not always a good idea. In fact, it’s rarely a good idea. Our hearts can lead us down a very dark path, and this is a piece of information we desperately need to have in our arsenals. We all have an idea of how we want to be loved, and some of us have unrealistic expectations about this. We’re in the wrong lane when it comes to the quality of love we receive and give. Those expectations must be adjusted before we can partner in a relationship wisely and from a place of strength.

Life is given by God to be lived out in faith, not fantasy. Romans 5:3-5(NLT) “3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Relationships that are built on fantasy will not last. They must be built on our faith in God, and this means we must demonstrate the endurance and strength of character that He requires.

Life is not a romance movie. It’s filled with ups and downs, and some of the downs can be devastating. Our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, didn’t keep this a secret. In John 16:33, he told us about the troubles that come with life on earth, but he also made it clear that we can have peace in our hearts because he overcame the world, and through him, we will to. Jesus Christ gives us peace, but the world will cause some trouble in our lives, and the way that we overcome that trouble is through our faith in him. 1John 5:4(NL) says, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

Significant relationships can present some of our greatest challenges. If we add unrealistic or unattainable expectations to the mix, we’re setting ourselves up for disaster. God doesn’t want this for us. He wants us to learn to walk by the Spirit so that we can be wise and make wise relationship decisions.

Don’t make the unfamiliar pain of heartbreak a familiar but unwelcome guest. Don’t let it be on repeat in your life. James 1:5(NLT) says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Let God’s wisdom lead you in your relationship choices, and that includes the choice about the person you are considering dating. Have faith that God will lead you in the right direction, and do not leap unless He tells you that it’s okay to do so. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Unfamiliar Pain”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

A Stronghold in Times of Trouble

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Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Why am I in this situation? How in the world did I get here? While I was married to my husband, I asked myself these questions almost every day, but when we began the relationship, things weren’t as bad as they had become.  When we first started dating, he was kind, generous, and he always put me first. Our courtship lasted a year and then we got married. Of course, the first month was an adjustment period. We both had pretty established lives before we got married; our own places, good job security, and financial stability. I didn’t think the few disagreements after we moved in together were unusual, but after six months, small disagreements turned into days of not speaking to one another. I never believed I was the kind of woman to disrespect myself or my man, but his mental and emotional abuse was too much. It brought out things in me that I never knew existed, and I was at the lowest point of my life.

Every day, there are women going through the same things I did. Some are experiencing much more dangerous situations than disrespectful name calling and a hard shove here and there. The thing that becomes very clear to anyone in an abusive relationship is that once a certain level of respect is lost, things spiral down a dark hole very quickly. It seemed that my husband and I were almost near the bottom. It felt impossible that he would make a change and begin to honor me. Too many horrible things had been said and done. The treatment was indeed the bottom of the barrel, and I felt the only thing I could do was brace myself for more pain.

I started to struggle in my faith and doubt God’s love for me. I felt abandoned not only by my husband, but by God as well. “If God will allow this hurt and pain then what do I have left?” I asked myself. 2Corinthians 13:5(NIV) gives us the reality check that answers some of the most challenging questions of life, like the ones I had as I struggled to come to terms with my life. It tells us, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” When things are going well, most of us never question whether we are living by faith the way that God commands us to, but when life goes sideways, we choose the route that most do, which is to blame God for the conditions we’re facing.

Some will even think that God is punishing them and that they must endure the hardship and suffer. They erroneously think that this is what God wants. He doesn’t. In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us what God wants for every person. He said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” God wants us to have a more than abundant life, and He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to make this kind of life available to everyone.

God will help us during the most difficult times of our lives. Psalm 9:9 (ESV) tells us, “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” When our faith is not where it should be and we are not putting all our trust in God, He still helps us, but we need to know that His Will is that we learn to walk by faith in a greater way. God doesn’t want to be at the same level of faith from year to year. Colossians 2:6-7 tells us that He desires us to be rooted and built up in Christ, and we are to be established and going higher in faith in Him. God wants us to follow His Word so that we avoid relationships that will not yield the kind of love and support He wants His daughters to receive from their spouses. Having faith in God means that we believe it is possible to love and be loved according to the example of Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV) says, “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” This is God’s standard. Of course, a wife must be equally as loving, kind, and respectful of her husband, but as women, we must know that God’s Will is for us to be loved and supported to this degree.

We must have faith that God is our stronghold in any condition and in every situation. Even when things seem impossible, Romans 8:28 tells us that He can turn them around and cause them to work together for our good, but we must be clear that He doesn’t want us to be mistreated just as He doesn’t want us to mistreat anyone either. It’s going to be necessary for us to hold up a mirror and examine ourselves. Self-reflection and being accountable to following the example of Christ is the best tool for anyone interested in living their best life.

Most of us spend our lives doing exactly what we want to do. Before we made consequential choices and decisions, we didn’t think to ask for God’s counsel or permission, and this method of approaching life will not yield the results we hope. Part of growing in faith is changing the way we think as we also pray for God’s guidance and direction. We also must develop a deeper well of love so that we are spiritually prepared to love others according to the example of Christ. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us that we are to be kind and forgive one another. This level of love for Jesus Christ and love and compassion for others is required to please God. It should be in our hearts way before we consider marriage. When it is, we will be better able to recognize and discern if a man does or doesn’t have the capacity to love us in the way that Christ does. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “A Stronghold in Times of Trouble”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God’s Love Makes It All Possible

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Ephesians 4:22-24(NLT)
“22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.”

My friend Brian met his new girlfriend four months ago. He met her through a mutual friend, and they have been inseparable since their first date. His first marriage ended fifteen years ago, and after a series of failed relationships, he said he believes he’s finally met the woman that reciprocates the kind of love he gives.

As I listened to my friend, I was reminded of the happiness a person experiences from a relationship that is new and appears to be heading in the right direction. I couldn’t help but identify with those feelings, and it makes me excited about the possibilities the future holds. It also reminded me of the choice that we are forced to make about how we view being single in this season. We can be continually stoked about what God is doing, even though we don’t yet see the details of His handiwork; or, we can be disappointed and sad because everything isn’t happening on our own timetables.

Most of us have been on the downside before. We’ve been in relationships we hoped would work out, but the person doesn’t honor and return the kind of love we’re giving. We shouldn’t allow this disappointment to soil the hopefulness and faith that is required to see our dreams manifest. Instead, we must be even more tenacious when it comes to confessing and believing the promises of God. And we must also be committed to learn the lessons of God’s love that all disappointments will teach us.

In many cases, instead of learning to walk in spiritual maturity in a greater way, and moving forward and upward, many of us, both men and women, will try to hold on to a relationship that’s not working for us.  Even though it’s the wrong person, we don’t want to experience the pain of yet another disappointment, so we cling to what we’ve got because we have a fear of letting another relationship fall out of our hands. The danger in clinging to something that isn’t working for us is that it sends the wrong message about our faith. To give any relationship a fighting chance, it can’t be built on a rocky foundation. It can’t be built on fear, doubt, or desperation. So, as singles determined to receive what God has for us, we’ve got to be patient so that we can present a love that is wrapped in faith, and we can then receive this same kind of love in return.

Your love is being groomed. You are being prepared in a way that helps you fully surrender to the Spirit. Then he can flood your life with renewal continually. Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us to throw off the former way of life. We are to let go of our doubtful thoughts and attitudes and put on our new nature. This new nature carves out the highest level of love of which you and I are capable—it’s a Christ-kind of love, and it draws blessings and people across our paths. God tells us in Isaiah 55:11(NLT), “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” Well, God’s love is just like His Word. When it goes forth in purity and conviction, it accomplishes what God wants it to accomplish. God’s love always hits its target.

God’s love is what makes everything we desire possible, and this is why He is working in us this very moment. He is helping us to change our motivation so that it isn’t about having a person in our lives at all cost. Our motivation must be to please God and to operate as purely and authentically as possible through His love. 1Corinthians 4:5(NLT) tells us, “So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due.” Heavenly Father examines our motives, and He blesses us according to whether our hearts are truly anchored in pleasing Him.

There is a special kind of person that matches you to the tee. They may not be perfect, which none of us are, but they will equal your capacity to love. You and I can never know the heart of an individual. They may seem to be one thing and turn out to be completely different. Only God knows a person’s heart. He is always and forever in control, and He knows who and what is best for our lives. Our happiness is very important to God, and He knows how to reward us and supply our needs. Let’s trust in Him with all our hearts and have confidence that He is doing a work in us that is very necessary, because it is preparing us for His purpose. He’s making sure that when we’re ready, the love we find will match the love we seek. ■

“God’s Love Makes It All Possible”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God Loves Justice

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Miller Jamison attended a family gathering at his mom’s. She was making her famous macaroni and cheese, and nothing could keep him away from his mother’s macaroni and cheese. His grandmother was visiting, and the house was packed with friends and family. When Miller walked through the door, his grandmother was ecstatic to see her grandson. Beaming with excitement, she jumped up from her chair, grabbed him close and gave him a big ol’ hug. Miller was happy to see her too, but her presence reminded him that his grandfather wasn’t there. It conjured up hurtful feelings that have been the most painful of any Miller has ever experienced in his life. 

He had intended to focus only on how great it would be to eat good food and to see his grandmother and everyone else. He thought he had managed to put the anger about the death of his grandfather far away from his mind, at least enough to enjoy a good meal with his grandmother, who he hadn’t seen in months. It was not to be. The man that had caused his grandfather’s death was never prosecuted. His mother told Miller repeatedly to leave it in the Lord’s hands, but he had turned his back on faith, and continues to carry both rage and grief over his grandfather’s death. He’s not sleeping through the night, and at times he’s short tempered and easily agitated. His grandfather was a gentle soul, and for many people, he was a bedrock of strength and wisdom. Miller didn’t understand God’s justice, and he blamed God for not preventing the death of the best person he had ever known.  

In the Old Testament, God said in Jeremiah 9:23-24(NLT), “23 Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. 24 But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken!” 

In verse 23, God checks those who were walking around feeling superior over their own wisdom, power, and wealth. We probably see far more of this today than those that were living during biblical days. Humanity has advanced to a degree that probably far exceeds the imagination and expectation of most. There’s no doubt that there are very smart people in our world and they’re doing remarkable things, but God tells us that this is no reason to boast. There’s only one thing that anyone should brag and boast about, and it is that they know our almighty and powerful God. 

He wants us to know Him. He tells us in verse 24 of this passage that He wants us to understand who He is and what He loves. He is our Heavenly Father, and He demonstrates unfailing love, the kind of love that never wavers. He brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and this is a truth that needs to marinate in our brain cells. Without God bringing justice and righteousness, there would be none. History has proven what happens when people turn their backs on God’s Word and refuse to abide in His righteousness. They do unthinkably evil things, and we’ve witnessed incredible tragedies by the hands of people that crave power and wealth and will stop at nothing to have those things. We might think God turns a blind eye to this, but that is never the case.

In Isaiah 55:9(NLT), God said, “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” God’s thoughts are so much higher than ours that we can’t define or calculate the difference.Without God’s intervention, and left to our own devices, we would see things from an extremely narrow perspective. Our vision is exponentially limited, but God sees the entire picture. We must trust Him and His justice, because God knows the past, present, and future. Miller wanted vengeance for his grandfather’s death, but he knew his grandfather would never have wanted that. He didn’t want to cause his grandmother and mother any more pain, but Miller felt trapped by his emotions and circumstances, and it was eating him up inside. 

Quite often, deep pain and anger are rooted in a person’s refusal to accept that life is out of their control. This is what vengeance is about. It’s an extreme need to punish for a wrong in a way that makes us feel in control. Vengeance never achieves its intended purpose. Romans 12:19(ESV), “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” God’s justice is righteous, and vengeance belongs to Him alone. We must have faith that He will take care of those who do wrong. 

There are only two choices we can make in life. We can trust God and have faith in His Word, or we can choose to live and operate outside of faith in God. Choosing against faith is the equivalent of fear. It’s trusting our own devices rather than trusting God, and this is never a winning strategy. The choice regarding faith or fear is completely and utterly left to us. God will not force us to choose His love, just as He will not stop people when they make the choice to do things that He doesn’t like. We get to choose who we are going to be. We can live a life without loving God, or we can choose to love Him. If we choose to love God, we must have faith in Him, because Hebrews 11:6 tells us that we can’t please God without faith. 

Faith is always the answer for any heaviness we endure in life. We are not in control, and this is a reality that faith demands we accept. God is the One with the master plan, and nothing is too big for Him to solve. He told His people in Exodus 15:26 (NLT), “If you will listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his sight, obeying his commands and keeping all his decrees, then I will not make you suffer any of the diseases I sent on the Egyptians; for I am the LORD who heals you.”

God takes care of everything. We should trust this even when we do not understand how He moves. We couldn’t possibly know all that God is doing, but He commands that we focus our hearts and minds on His goodness. We can’t do this if we are consumed with anger and rage. Psalm 7:11(ESV) says, “God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day.” God is angry with the wicked every day, but He is also an extremely patient God. He’s patient with us, and He is patient with those who do not follow Him. He wants us to know this so that we are confident in His goodness. 

God requires us to be imitators of Him. We are to be patient and have faith in His judgment, because His judgment is never wrong. Through God’s righteous judgment, He demonstrates that His timing is divine and perfect. No one gets away with anything, and on this we can depend. We will all reap what we sow. Our God is just and righteous, and both belong to Him. He delights in them. So, we must reject fear and the desire for vengeance and place our faith in the perfection of God’s sovereignty and rule. When we surrender totally to Him in this way, He will comfort our hearts through His Spirit, and replace our anger with His peace. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“God Loves Justice”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

When We Lose Our Balance

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1Corinthians 4:20; For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power. 21; Which do you choose?

“Ok God, you have my attention now, what in the world did I do wrong?”

A few years ago, I fell and broke my elbow. At that time, I had enough spiritual knowledge to recognize that my fall was not an ordinary oops but a severe wake-up call. Although falls are common, we have to always go back to God’s natural order. As God’s children, we’re covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. God doesn’t want us to be hurt in any way, for any reason. Life happens, but we are called by God to pay attention to the consequences of all missteps, mishaps, and mistakes, because we can learn from them.

Psalms 37:23-24 (NLT) tells us, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. 24 Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.”  Both literally and figuratively, a fall symbolizes that balance has been lost. Something is out of alignment and it’s our responsibility as spiritually mature individuals to examine what has caused us to become out of balance and why.

Falling can sometimes be a signal that we’re getting close to going off the path of God’s righteousness in some way. It can also be a wake-up call to the reality that we are veering too far away from the purpose God has for our lives. We’re not paying attention to the things that matter most to Him, and we need to slow down, take a pause, and think about what we’re doing.

John 4:24(NLT) tells us, “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” Our Heavenly Father is a Spirit, and everything He has created is spiritual. Genesis 1:26 tells us that He has created us, human beings, in His own image. He has created this extraordinary universe, and He’s created this planet, earth, for our habitation. We are like Him! He created us in His own image so He can relate to us. We are human spirit and human soul housed in a human body. Everything about us was perfectly designed by our Heavenly Father to love Him, have a relationship with Him, and relate to others through Him.

Romans 8:29-30 informs us that God has predestined us to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ, His one and only begotten Son. This passage also tells us that He called, justified, and qualified us to snuggly fit into the purpose for which we were called. Our lives are not random. They are ordered by God. Jeremiah 29:11 affirms that God has a good plan for our lives, a plan to give us a future and a hope. There’s no falling or hiccups in His plan for us. He’s a God of peace and everything God does is in order. So, when we fall in any way, it’s a spiritual occurrence of which we can derive spiritual information regarding where we are in the things of God.

Again, everything, and I do mean E V E R Y T H I N G, is spiritual. There will never be a way to extract ourselves from this truth. Those with a prideful mindset may have difficulty with it because they want to live according to the flesh, but that’s not the way children of God live. We walk by faith and not by sight. When we depend solely on our physical eyes and not on our spiritual eyes, we’re not actually seeing what’s in front of us. In this state, a person can fall several times before he or she recognizes they need to pay attention to our Almighty God.

A fall may show up in the form of a failed relationship, a lost job or losing your home. Loss can very often symbolize imbalance, and this isn’t God punishing us. He doesn’t want us to feel bad about ourselves or to be tripped up in life. He wants us to wake up and draw closer to Him so He can help us. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” Immature or childlike behavior as an adult will always lead to situations that provide an opportunity to mature in the Lord.

Whenever or however we fall, we can rest assured that our ground can never be too shaky for God to make our crooked paths straight. He is always here for us if we would just humble ourselves and ask for His help. As adults, we will often try and take matters into our own hands. We get ahead of God and this is never a workable strategy. We must take heed to God’s signal, correct our courses, and begin to allow Him to lead, guide, and direct us. He knows where we should be, when we should be there, and He knows how to get us there.

Humility is where it’s at! Humility expresses our love for God, and it activates us in His purpose. It’s necessary to surrender to God through humility because this is what aligns our actions and behaviors with the move of God’s Spirit.

We were never meant to do this thing called life alone. Galatians 5:1 tells us that now that we have been freed from the bondage of slavery by Jesus Christ, we must never again allow anyone or anything to saddle us with bondage again. We can’t have a double standard where we yield to God in certain areas but not at all in others. He commands us Galatians 5:25 to live in His Spirit and to walk by His Spirit. Then, instead of falling because of the circumstances of life, we will fall more in love with God through the Lord Jesus Christ and allow His Word, plan, and purpose to always keep us standing stable and strong. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When We Lose Our Balance”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Have Hope in God

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Ecclesiastes 7: 9-12(NLT)
“Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. 10 Don’t long for the good old days. This is not wise. 11 Wisdom is even better when you have money. Both are a benefit as you go through life. 12 Wisdom and money can get you almost anything, but only wisdom can save your life.”

“Where did I go wrong in my life?”

I was talking to Louisa the other day. She’s a middle-aged Christian woman that I’ve known a while, and she expressed her desire to have a do-over with her life. Louisa has lots of regrets. She wished that she had never moved away from her hometown in the South and that she would have married her high school sweetheart. “At least with him, I knew what to expect.” she remarked. What did she get instead? A man that cheated on her most of their 25 years of marriage. She met Larry two years after she moved to Ohio. They dated for a couple of years, got married and had three children. She found out about his affairs after they had their second child, but because her oldest child had medical issues, she remained in the marriage. Raising two boys alone would’ve been more than she could handle, she thought, and after her daughter was born, she settled into what she refers to as a life of disappointment.

Most of us wake up every morning, go to work, raise our children, and do what is necessary to live a peaceable life. It isn’t a fairy tale, because life isn’t meant to be. It’s meant to be a walk of faith with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Most of us are fully aware of this. Things in life don’t always go the way we plan. Many of us are caught off guard by this and catch ourselves wishing that we could have a do-over, especially when it comes to some of our mishaps and mistakes. But life just keeps rolling, and we must have faith in God to keep up.

When our reality is far from what we’ve dreamed, we think we’ve missed something or left something behind that would have made us better and therefore made our lives better. We figure it’s almost impossible to recoup now that we have so many responsibilities. Others are depending on us to hold things together, and it isn’t always easy to be strong. Our hopes are injured because it feels that any chance of living the dream is greatly diminished. We’re left wondering how we ventured so far off track.

Romans 8:29-30(NKJV) declares, “29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.” Verse 29 tells us that God knew us even before we were in our mother’s wombs. He has given us a destiny, and this destiny is shaped and modeled in the example that Jesus Christ left for us. We are children of God, and God is the One who predestines our lives. It’s not our plan, it’s His plan! Our great pleasure, privilege, and responsibility is to pray, to seek what He has in store for us, and to follow His plan and purpose with all our hearts.

Our plans and dreams are limited to only what we can see and imagine. We don’t consider all the pitfalls and missteps because we couldn’t possibly know them all. We think about what is good for us, but don’t always know what is good for everyone, or how our dreams and desires might impact the lives of others. Our God is interested in what is good for everyone, and the benefit of all is masterfully woven into His plans. Our Heavenly Father knows everything. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:8 that God knows we need before we ask Him. There isn’t any detail about our lives or the lives of others that God does not know. Acts 17:27 tells us that He alone set the boundaries of our births, and He left nothing to chance.

Galatians 3:13(NLT) declares, “But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.”” The past is gone forever and will never come again. It cannot be relived, and none of us can have do-overs, but we must never, ever forget the reality that our Heavenly Father is a Redeeming God. He redeemed us from the curse of sin, sickness, and death. Adam disobeyed God and sold us all into the slavery of sin, sickness, and death, but God always had a plan for our redemption through Christ. Romans 5:12 affirms that Adam sinned, and sin spread because we all sinned too, but through his sacrificial offering for our sin, Jesus Christ redeemed and saved us from this curse. Now, we are free and have received the gift of eternal life because of what God accomplished through the death and resurrection of our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

God redeems! He delivers and restores! When we try to make our plans work, they don’t always come out the way we envision, and this is what causes disappointment, but God’s plan always works to His glory and to our benefit and glory as well. In Proverbs 3:5-6, He instructs us not to lean on our own understanding. He tells us to place all our trust in Him, and all means “ALL”. He directs our paths, and on this we can depend.In Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), He told His people living in Old Testament times, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Romans 8:28(NLT) affirms, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” We make mistakes, but they teach us that God is the One that is in control! We don’t have any power to call our own. All power belongs to Him! Although there are disappointments in life, He can redeem them to such a degree that the sting of disappointment no longer affects us. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a sure hope, and Romans 5:5 declares that this hope in Christ does not disappoint us because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through His Holy Spirit!  So, let’s not waste time on wouldas-couldas-shouldas. Let’s be secure in the knowledge that we can bloom wherever we are planted as long as we trust God and depend on Him to lead us on the path He’s set for our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“Have Hope in God”, written by Kyada for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Don’t Be Afraid, God is in Control

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Psalm 23:4-5(NLT)
4 Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. 5 You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.

As Children of God, we don’t have to be afraid of what’s to come, nor do we have to fear the unknown. Our only requirement is to trust God as He instructs us in this passage in Psalm 23.  Heavenly Father wants us to know that He is with us always. He will never leave us nor forsake us, in good times and in the bad times.  When we need comfort, Philippians 4:7 tells us that He will give us a peace that passes all understanding. When we need protection, Psalm 110:5 declares that He will stand at our right hand to protect us. He is a mighty and all-powerful God who loves His children, and we can depend on this with our whole hearts.

If these last few years, particularly the last few weeks, have shown us nothing else, it’s revealed that the world will constantly sink low and bring about the unexpected. But our God is faithful to those who love Him. We don’t have to walk around shaking in our boots. Ephesians 1:3 says that God has blessed us with all spiritual blessings because of our union with Jesus Christ, and through our blessed Redeemer, we are complete!

Passages like Psalm 23 are extremely comforting, especially during the lows in life, because tough times can make us feel lost. They can cause our thoughts to head south of what God has made us in Christ. It’s no secret that our darkest valleys can be found in the unpredictable and unexpected events that life sends our way. Not long ago, one of my dear friends witnessed how quickly things can change when he got a phone call from one of his older sons. He’d been in a car accident and was arrested for drinking and driving. At the time, his son had just graduated from college with a degree in criminal justice and had wanted to be a police officer since childhood. He applied to the police academy in hopes of finally making his dream a reality, but those dreams were shattered. My friend’s son faced mounting court fines and a lawsuit. He withdrew his application from the academy, and watched his dream slip away, all because of one bad decision. 

The unexpected can shift our circumstances quickly. It can take your breath away, because you didn’t see it coming. Although life is constantly proving that in the blink of an eye, things can change, we must never forget that God is always and forever in control. 1Corinthians 10:13(NLT) states, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” This verse lets us see how important it is for us to have faith in God. No matter how volatile and out of control life seems, Romans 8:28(NLT) affirms, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

God has given us His Word to strengthen us during uncertainty and change. Isaiah 40:29(NLT) tells us, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” We are His children, and He has equipped us to stand strong through our faith in Him. But if the Word of God is not rooted in our hearts and minds, we can become easy prey to believe or think we’re powerless. We can be tricked into thinking that God isn’t going to protect and take care of us, and once we allow this train of thought to spread, fear and doubt make themselves cozy in our minds and hearts. We can’t let this happen. God tells us in Hebrews 11:6 that it is impossible to please Him without faith. We must believe that He exists and that He rewards us.

God is a Rewarder! He loves us, and He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to save us. He did this when we were at our worst. Romans 8:33(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” And in Romans 8:38, He puts the icing on the cake by telling us that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from His unconditional, limitless love. None of us have any power of our own, but our merciful God has all power in His hands, and He promises in His Word to use His power to protect and care for us when our faith is in Him. We have the distinct privilege and responsibility to increase our faith in Heavenly Father and here are spiritual practices that can help us to do so:

1-Pray More

Philippians 4:6(NLT) tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” As believers, we are required to pray to God often, and to do so in the powerful name of Jesus Christ. This strengthens our relationship with God and adds to the intimacy we share with Him. Too often, we give the world a higher percentage of our time and energy and not enough to God, and this must change. Proverbs 15:29(NLT) tells us, “The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous.” Not only must we pray for ourselves, but we must pray for others. God is pleased to hear from us our James 5:16 assures us that the prayers of the righteous have wonderful results.

2-Read God’s Word

God’s Word is life to us. His Word is alive, and everything that we need for life and living is contained in it. When times get tough, it is extremely helpful to know scriptures that bring comfort and confidence in God. We need to renew our minds to those scriptures. This means that we should commit them to memory, so God’s Word becomes a part of us. It’s good practice to have a list of your scripture favorites, as well as a hard-copy of God’s Word, near your reach. This way you’re able to grab them for quick reference when you need it most.

3-Keep close to those that encourage you

Proverbs 18:21 warns us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. This demonstrates the potency of the words we speak. It cautions us against speaking negatively about ourselves, and it confirms that friends or associates that are not confident in the Lord may do more harm than good, especially during times of trouble and crisis. We need people in our corners that encourage us to keep our faith firmly planted in God no matter the situation or circumstances. This kind of mindset and attitude pleases God and will help us to stay calm and focused on His goodness and love during the most challenging times of our lives. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Be Afraid, God is in Control”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Save Your Relationship with God First

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“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Matthew 6:33(NLT)

“I’m desperately trying to save our relationship, but he acts like he doesn’t love me anymore.”

When we’re facing a crisis, such as being abandoned by the person we love most, our tendency may be to try to hold on to them for dear life. The emotional pain of losing that person is more than we think we can bear, and we become desperate. Many of us will do just about anything to save the relationship. We’ll do things we never thought we would, because losing this person’s love is more than rejection; it feels like we’re losing a piece of ourselves.

Betrayal is an ugly monster. And do you know what takes the hardest hit? Your self-esteem. To realize that the person you love no longer loves you or wants to be with you anymore, it cuts deep. There aren’t too many things in life that are more disappointing and hurtful, but as hurtful as these feelings are, when we can’t seem to shake them loose, they are revealing some key information that is vital to our healing. The first thing our pain reveals is how much we loved the person that hurt us.

1John 4:16(NLT) says, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” Love is God and God is love. He is our Creator, and Genesis 1:27 tells us that He made us in His image. We are made from God’s love, and it is a very wonderful thing to know that we can love others deeply. Our pain tells us that we made a lot of space in our hearts for another person. We cared about them, and even though they decided not to appreciate our love in the way we wanted, our hearts were open to give love, and not everyone can say this.

The second thing our heartache reveals is how much we love ourselves. Heartache is supposed to hurt, but this hurt shouldn’t consume us or keep us from bouncing back with greater faith and wisdom. If we are pining away for weeks on end, it reveals that more strength and love at the foundation of who we are is needed. In order for us to become better and wiser, the strength that we need at our cores must come from our love of Jesus Christ. His love builds us up in our weak places, so that we love ourselves and others in a way that is in line with God’s Will and purpose for our lives.

Philippians 4:13(NLT) informs us, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” This is not a myth. It is the truth, and it should be our reality. We are empowered by God through the Spirit of Christ that lives within us. Our responsibility is to grow in this strength. When it becomes apparent to us that a situation exceeds our ability to weather storms and bounce back with resiliency, we must take action. We need the strength, wisdom, and healing that can only come from our Lord and Savior.

When we are injured emotionally, we must not sink into an abyss of pain. Instead, we must increase our time with God through prayer, fasting, and studying His Word. This is how we prepare for greater blessings, and it signals the heavens and everything beneath them that we will not make the same mistakes twice. So, the bottom line is that our commitment to keep ourselves thriving spiritually through Christ is the true measure of the love we have for ourselves and others.

The third and most important piece of information that devastating pain can reveal is the degree to which we’ve prioritized a relationship with a person over our relationship with God. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Loving God with all that we are is God’s requirement. It isn’t negotiable. Jesus Christ also commands us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God and His righteousness above all else. So, the standard is very clear. God must forever and always be our priority. When He is, we can be confident that no matter what we face, we will always have victory in Christ.

Ephesians 3:19(NLT) expresses God’s desire for all of us. It states, “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Our Heavenly Father wants us to walk powerfully in Christ every moment of each day, and He has made this possible through Jesus Christ. Trying to save a relationship that isn’t in God’s destiny for us conveys to heaven and everything beneath it that we don’t believe in the power of our Father’s love. Let’s not do that. Instead, our first concern should be to do everything we possibly can to save our relationship with God. We should show Him that we believe in His promises and that we trust the wonderful future He has in store for our lives. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Save Your Relationship with God First”, written by Kyada for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!