The Once Hopeless and Now Grateful Onion Peeler

I was raised in a rural community, and our house was on what used to be a long dirt road. It was paved with asphalt when I was a teenager, and our neighbor’s son must have thought it belonged only to him. Young and sometimes very foolish, Frankie would speed down that paved road on late Saturday nights like a crazy person, and there was no way he would have been able to safely stop for anything in his view. As we ran for our lives down that newly paved road in the dead of night, oddly enough that’s what was on my mind. Not the fury of rage that was chasing us, not the abuse we’d spent the entire night trying to fend off and would spend the early morning trying to conceal. My concern was to motivate my mother and sisters to push through exhaustion, to keep running so we’d be nowhere on the road if Frankie came through. That’s how anesthetized I had become to our weekend traumas.

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I don’t sleep well at night. I sleep like a baby during daytime hours, but nights, forget about it. Growing up, my nights were often filled with terror…unspeakable terror, and I was never not aware of it. My constant state of being was a cross between nervousness, nausea, and numbness. No one outside the walls of our home suspected a thing. My siblings and I were always impeccably dressed, and very well behaved. We were bred to be keepers of the secret—to keep our mouths closed about family business. We were quite good at it.

I didn’t know that I had a right to speak about my pain or to hope that I would be free from it. The heaviness was crushing me, and my soul, oh my soul was tired. But I couldn’t give it a name. I was too young to be tired, my grandmother would say, and I was too old to cry. When I did cry, no one tended to my tears, and I truly had no expectation that they would.

I heard someone say that they couldn’t face another day in the shape they were in. I didn’t have a day to spare. I was the epitome of weary, wounded, and sad. I sought the face of Jesus at a point where I couldn’t face one more minute of life as I had known it. When I gave my life to him totally and completely, the light came on, and I knew in that moment I was changed. Many people have made that statement, but I don’t believe one can do so as veraciously as someone that understands the depth of how ravaging fear can be on the human soul.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT), “28 Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” I learned this passage in Sunday School. For years, it cascaded about my shoulders like a warm shawl, but I didn’t wrap myself in it. That took some time.

Jesus said come, rest, then take. This was not an instantaneous process, and most of us are far too impatient to see the beauty of it unfold. I came and rested. It was glorious. Then came the work.

Like an onion, I had layers; most of us do. The first is peeled lovingly by our blessed Lord, and there are tears of joy. We experience his freedom, but then we realize that there is so much more. There are more layers to peel, and deeper wounds to heal.

All these years later, I’m still peeling back layers, and still crying tears of joy and sometimes sorrow as I do, but I realize that this surrendering work in Christ is vital to life. Our precious Savior does not force his way into our hearts. Peeling away the layers of hurt and pain is part of our life’s work. Through it we learn how deep Jesus will go to heal us.

I’m very aware of how the abuse I suffered has affected me. It’s given me survival skills that no longer serve me well, but often hinder me. It’s given me an almost obsessive need for peace, and it has also allowed me a front row view of my own life as I’ve transformed from hopeless to grateful. What I received from God through the Lord Jesus Christ was a drenching that completely deluged my pitifulness. The memory of it so impacts me today that I find joy in being an onion peeler. The deeper I go into my wounded self, the deeper I feel his unyielding, unconditional love. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“The Once Hopeless and Now Grateful Onion Peeler” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

My Heart Hurts, But My Soul Feels Good

God has created us to be three-part beings; spirit, soul, and body. People often wrongly identify the parts, but 1Thessalonians 5:23 clarifies it quite nicely. There are three parts that make us humans, and our soul is the part of us that we must constantly keep in check. It’s governed by our will, and God won’t violate our free-will choice. We can do whatever we want to do. We’ll pay the consequences of our wrong actions, but the choice is squarely ours to make. The soul has a couple of gates. Stuff goes in and stuff goes out. That’s an over-simplified statement, but true nonetheless. The mind is the thinking center, and the heart is the feeling center. Both have storage capacity, and sometimes they hold on to the wrong things, and this causes us major problems down the road.

In Proverbs 4:23, God tells us to guard our hearts, and to let this be one of our chief occupations in life. If Heavenly Father has told us to make guarding our hearts a priority, then it means that the heart is pretty important, and not guarding it will cause some serious malfunctions. To guard something is to be careful about what goes in it and what comes out of it. In other words, we must be extremely discriminating about what we let through the gate. This places us in a position of discernment, and sometimes we’re not so good at it. We can’t predict the future, things don’t work out as we expect, and the people we choose to have relationships with are not always who they purport to be. These are just a few of the reasons why we desperately need the help and guidance of the indwelling Holy Spirit. He’ll help us discern what is true and righteous.

With the heart, a situation might make us feel really good, but be bad for us. On the flip side, a situation that is for our overall well-being might break our hearts. That’s the tricky part, because oddly enough, what’s best for the soul doesn’t always feel good to the heart at first. But here’s the whopper piece of information that none of us can afford to miss, whenever we do what is best for the soul, we increase spiritually. God tells us in 3John 1:2 that He desires that we prosper, be in good health, and that our souls will flourish in His goodness. This is why the adversary blinds the minds and hearts of people through his tactics of bombardment and chaos.

Distraction is his game, and so often we fall for it. We become so consumed with the heart business that we neglect the soul, and end up missing the blessing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve witnessed this in the lives of others. They feel as if they can’t catch a break. It’s one problem right after the other for them, and it’s because a pivotal blessing is coming their way. Causing them to miss it by distracting them is the name of the devil’s game.

We have to open our eyes and begin to see these distractions for what they are. They are sent our way to keep us from making the very decision that’s going to usher in what we’ve been praying to receive. Our choices can be doors to opportunities that will advance us in Kingdom pursuits. These are the choices that are before us every day; choices to nourish our souls with God’s Word, so that it will cause all aspects of our lives to thrive.

You have to face the reality that when it comes right down to it, it’s YOUR soul on the line. When you stand before the judgment seat of God’s throne, you can’t take anyone with you. This should motivate us to move everything in our lives aside so that we can get quiet and spend some quality time with God in His Word. This is a very important way that we can hear from Him.

Looking at romantic movies or reading novels, you might have come across the advice, “Just listen to your heart.” This sounds like the right thing to do, but it isn’t always wise counsel. Jeremiah 17:9 warns that the human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and Proverbs 26:23 cosigns this. It warns that smooth words sometimes hide a wicked heart. So, when it comes to someone else’s heart, as well as our own, we need the Lord’s help to discern the right choices so that we can make good, solid decisions.

God has a treasure waiting for you, and He doesn’t want you to miss it. Don’t let chaos and bombardment confuse you. Isaiah 26:3 tells us that God will keep us in perfect peace when we trust in Him and keep our thoughts fixed on Him. Your heart may want what it wants, but let God take control, because only He knows what’s best for your soul.■

“My Heart Hurts, But My Soul Feels Good” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

“I Cry to You, But You Don’t Answer”

My friend, Maxine, ran into a rough spot when she got sober about nine years ago. Her personality is bubbly and infectious; she never had a problem landing a job, just couldn’t keep it. With her prior arrests, background checks always caught up with her. It made her employment history sketchy at best. Maxine’s dad worked in maintenance and janitorial service most of his life, and she had picked up a few skills here and there. She decided she’d try her hand at cleaning homes. When she told her friends about the idea, everyone was on board, and she was off to a good start.

Maxine was introduced to the Lord Jesus Christ in rehab, and her relationship with God continued to grow. She began to meet new people, and her housecleaning jobs increased. She decided to specialize in cleaning floors, rugs, and carpets, and make a go of a small business. Things really began to take-off from there. Her friends continued to be very supportive and gave her lots of encouragement and referrals. Maxine gained a reputation for good, reliable service at a good price. It wasn’t until six years later, when she started to take on larger clients, that her business hit a snag.

She enjoyed the initial building stage, but things took on a much different tone as the business grew, and her faith took a hit as well. As the money stream tightened, Maxine became anxious. She felt as if the Lord was letting her down. Many of us have been in this place, where our backs are against the wall and we don’t know quite what to do. The things that used to work for us are no longer working. We cry out to the Lord, but it seems that He isn’t hearing us.

In the Book of Job in the Old Testament, Job said as much. He said to the Lord in Job 30:20 (NLT), “I cry to you, O God, but you don’t answer. I stand before you, but you don’t even look.” These moments, when it seems that God isn’t responding, His mercy is speaking loud and clear, and we have the distinct privilege to press upon our spiritual hearing to receive what His mercy is saying. Heavenly Father is incredibly patient with us. 1John 5:14 tells us that He always hears our prayers. He’s interested in every detail of our lives, but we must also remember that God’s number one priority is our spiritual growth in Christ.

Heavenly Father wants us to succeed in life, but sometimes a subtle shift slips in. It’s one that causes us to lean less on the Lord Jesus and lean more on the flesh. We begin to walk more by sight than by faith. We forget that the goal is that our view of who God is and what He is willing to do for us grows, as our reliance on self-effort and ability diminishes. Hebrews 13:5 (NIV) gives us some extremely good counsel when this happens. It tells us, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Everything happens for a reason, and although you may not understand it, the lesson learned will inevitably be that God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. He’s working in you to will and do of His good pleasure through the Holy Spirit. He’s helping you to grow into the person that He desires you to be.

Romans 8:28(NKJV) tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Maxine had a dry spell, but things got better. She learned many spiritual lessons during that season, like how to wait on God before making big decisions. Her eyes were also opened to being more thankful to the Lord for having people in her life that were willing to support her the way that they did. But the greatest lesson she learned was how quickly doubt can slip into our hearts when situations in our lives change. Doubt is not a part of God’s Kingdom. It doesn’t come from Him, and it takes up space that only trust and love for God should occupy. So yes, dry seasons will sometimes occur in life, but our commitment to hold to God’s unchanging hands will ensure they are only temporary. He promises that ultimately, everything will work together for our good.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

 “I Cry to You, But You Don’t Answer” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Pants too Tight, Mouth too Loose

My grandmother would say to me, “Your mouth is going to get you in trouble.” She accused me of talking way too much for a youngin barely able to make up a bed. In her day, kids were to occupy themselves with quiet play, and never to be so brassy as to interject in grown folk’s business. As with every new generation, mine was viewed as a new opinionated breed. This, coupled with an insatiable curiosity, presented a sassiness that often shocked my grandmother. By the time I was a skin-tight jeans wearing teenager, she was utterly stunned by the antics she witnessed on TV and saw reflected in me and my siblings. We were completely outside the box, and nowhere in the contextual framing of her thought process was she able to connect the wires that made us act the way we did.

The combination of pants too tight and a mouth too loose never diminished my grandmother’s love and care, but it earmarked the differences between us. Of course, compared to today, the antics of my generation were mild to say the least. Talk about jeans too tight, today they’re a little more than stockings. Some of the things that bothered my grandmother about my generation are championed in today’s society, and perhaps necessary for progression and freedom of expression. But as with most generations, ours lacked the patience to weed out the less useful, while cherishing many of the priceless jewels from those before us.

My grandparents, and foreparents before them, had a boatload of what many people lack today, common sense and wisdom. Proverbs 4:7(NIV) tells us, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” Plenty of people have knowledge, but few seek the wisdom and understanding that comes from God’s Word.

2 Peter 1:3 tells us that through His divine Word, God has given us everything that we need for living a Godly life. His Word teaches us that restraint and modesty contribute to the foundation of moral character, and moral character pleases Him. It keeps us from being arrogant, which is something that God strongly dislikes.

Proverbs 18:21(NKJV) tells us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” Words are incredibly important. What we do, think, and say are the defining characteristics of our personhood. Heavenly Father warns us that talking too much is dangerous business, and He assures us in His Word that if we don’t use wisdom, we will have to eat the consequences that tag along with a lack of consciousness about what we say. And not only this, once we release our intentions verbally, the enemy gains information better left inside our heads, between us and God. Saying the wrong things at the wrong time allows the enemy greater leverage to undermine our good efforts.

1John 2:6 (ESV) tells us, “whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” God has shared much instruction in His Word that is designed to keep us safe, fulfilled, and thriving; part of this instruction teaches us to be disciplined in our words and actions, because being disciplined is a part of His nature, and as Christians we’re to be like Him.

My grandmother was endeavoring to teach her grandchildren to be people with good moral character, and rightly so. Her approach was one of instilling the notion of an economy of words, and now that I’m much older, I wish I had paid more attention to her wisdom.  As a teenager, my pants were too tight and my mouth too loose for my grandmother’s taste. She loved me to pieces any way, but I learned to watch what I say the hard way; after many embarrassing situations, lost friendships, and troublesome circumstances. The best approach is to seek the wisdom of God’s Word and walk in it. This way our words will be seasoned with wisdom, and skin-tight will be the defining characteristic of our relationship with God. ■

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Pants too Tight, Mouth too Loose” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

 

The Journey Forward

All of us are on a spiritual journey, whether we admit it or not. The evidence to back this up is in the very beginning of the bible, in the Old Testament. Genesis 1:26(NLT) tells us that God had a conversation with Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit. He said “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” You and I, and everyone else, are made in the image of God. Most of us gloss over this tremendous piece of knowledge without taking the time to digest it, but we should. John 4:24(NKJV) tells us that “God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” Our Heavenly Father is Spirit, and He has created us to be spiritual beings, made in His likeness. The highest and greatest level of existence that can be achieved in any person’s life is one in which we experience God through worship and fellowship. Heavenly Father makes no bones about the reality that this must be done Spirit to spirit, and it must be done in truth. Through the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, God has given us the distinct honor and privilege to be able to achieve this most holy state of worship and fellowship while we’re on earth and in human form. It’s the greatest perk of eternity, and we should be amazingly thankful to Him for the opportunity.

No one ever goes before God’s throne, and comes away from it the same way that they came. Embracing Him with our whole hearts leaves us changed in a way that is miraculous. We learn in His Word that there is some fruit produced from walking in His goodness.  Galatian 5:22-23(NLT) tells us, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Walking in oneness and communion with God through the Spirit of Christ will extend these yummies, but a staggering amount of us are still walking around sad and unhappy with our lives. God wants us to know that there’s a way through Him to change this.

“Feeling good is everything!” It’s an old saying, but boy does it ring true. Good feelings of joy, love, and peace are our birthright. It comes with the inheritance we have received through Christ. This is very, very important for us to know, because it gives us a measuring stick for understanding where we are, and where we’re going. You may be sad in this moment, but make no mistake, the joy of the Lord is your destination.

A journey is the action of moving from one place to another, and sometimes we humans don’t like that idea. We want to stay where we are because it’s comfortable. It’s what we know, and very few of us readily embrace a move to the unknown. There are a few non-negotiables that come with being a spiritual being, and faith is one of them. Faith is the DNA of moving by the Spirit. So we’re never going to get to the place that God has destined us to be by staying put. Our journeys in Christ have only two trajectories, forward and upward; and both will require us to make a change.

We need to marinate in this truth because it is the springboard of hope when feelings of sadness are hard to shake. God did not base the production of fruit on how we feel from one day to the next. He made it an absolute sure thing by decreeing that walking in the Spirit is the only way to produce fruit. So if our emotional state is one that is outside the realm of fruit, a spiritual change is on its way and we need to move toward it.

If sadness, loneliness, or any other emotion is causing us to feel down, we can be assured that this state is not our final destination. Sometimes these feelings are an indication that we’re not moving forward at God’s divine pace, and that our faith muscle is not getting the workout it needs. In Romans 12:12(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us how to remedy this. He says, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” We must place our hope in God, because He will not fail us. No, this Christian journey isn’t always easy, but we cannot allow ourselves to be stagnant. God’s Will is that we continue to go higher in Christ, and He’s given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us every step of the way.

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“The Journey Forward” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

A Thump from a Bump

The proverbial school of wisdom teaches that warning signs of impending trouble come in degrees. First, there’s a sign that equals the effect of a thump on one’s head. If that isn’t heeded, which in most cases it isn’t, there’s a whack that’s enough to leave our heads spinning a bit. And if that doesn’t get our attention, the last and final sign might come in the form of a big ol’ boulder that’s about to land on top of us. The long and short of it is that Heavenly Father has woven warning signs throughout each of our lives. It’s truly amazing how He does this, because these warnings are tailor made to fit our unique and individual circumstances. If we’ll pay attention, they’ll help us navigate through some of life’s rocky terrain, so that we always come through with our well-being intact.

Philippians 4:8-9 The Message (MSG) tells us, “8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” God has made a very clear distinction between the things that bring Him glory, and the stuff that is just a waste of time. He tells us to keep our minds filled with thoughts, ideas, and imaginations that represent His nature; those things that are true, noble, beautiful, and excellent.

These verses greatly aid our discernment, because they tell us what’s on the mind of God. They show us how harmoniously He moves, and that we can do the same as we put on the mind of Christ. Philippians 1:17 (NLT) says, “Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ.”  We’re citizens of heaven, and we’ve been commanded to act like it. God has called us out and set us apart to be different. This means that we ought to have an understanding about the place we call home, and we must also carry ourselves as true ambassadors of that heavenly place.

There’s no confusion, doubt, fear, darkness, bondage, or ignorance in heaven. It’s a place of love and light. We need to let this sink in the deep recesses of our inner sanctum. We’ve given far too much room to ambiguity, because ambiguity is safe for many people. It doesn’t require a fully persuaded, sold-out commitment, but there’s none of that wishy-washy business in our heavenly home.

In order for any person to discern properly, they must know the truth. They must be able to discern a thump from a light bump. When you don’t know the truth, you might think that something from the pit of hell is from Heavenly Father, or that a gift from heaven is dark and evil. God said in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge; they reject it. This is how so many of us are tricked by satan, because we don’t know the Word well enough to recognize the difference between light and darkness.

Most of us have a lot going on. We’re pulled in a thousand different directions from day to day. God knows our grind, but we can by no means allow it to interfere with our commitment to carve out some time for our relationship with Him. James 4:8 (NLT) tells us, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” It is critically important that we begin the practice of spending quiet and quality time with God. It’s a matter of sitting peacefully and inviting the presence of the Holy Spirit into your space in the precious name of Jesus Christ.

The noise of our worlds can drown out His still voice and the peace He offers if we’re not careful. We’re not making the time for Heavenly Father that we should, and that’s why we mistake the thump as a bump, and miss those wake-up calls to tighten our walks in Christ. In Hebrews 4:12, God tells us that His Word is alive and powerful, that it’s so sharp that it divides the joints from marrow. He’s given us His Word so that we’ll be equally on point, and have razor sharp clarity to pump the breaks before the thump.

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“A Thumb from a Bump” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!