Tag Archives: Self-love

A Sad Smile

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Some Christian folk have this thing where they don’t want anyone to see them unhappy. We’ve bought into the persona that we’re not supposed to have problems or issues. We walk around all day long telling folks, “I’m blessed!” as if everything in our worlds is peachy, when actually we really don’t feel all that great. Many of us have a sad smile on our faces, and we’re not as good at pretending as we think we are. Any person that is empathetic and compassionate can pick up when someone is hurting. So we’re not fooling nearly as many people as we think, and we need to stop trying to fool ourselves.

Psalm 37:4 (NKJV) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.”  This is a beautiful verse that tells us to find comfort and delight in God’s beauty, bounty, and blessing.  John 10:10 is probably on everyone’s favorite scripture list. In this verse, Jesus tells us that he came to the earth to make available a more than abundant life. Most of us would be satisfied if we hit the abundant mark, but God wants us to have a life that is more than abundant. That’s amazing! Another piece of yumminess is in Mark 9:23, where our blessed Lord tells us that if we can believe, all things are possible to the person who believes. This is over the top!

Considering the smorgasbord of blessings that God has provided, we can certainly see how the expectation of the always happy Christian came to be, but the truth is that many of us are not skipping through fields of daisies with blissful delight; not even close. For some, putting on a happy face and pretending is as close as they’ve come to the real thing, but it doesn’t have to be that way. One truth that shouldn’t be lost on any of us is that it’s important to God for us to know His desire. We may not be as happy as all get out, but He wants us to be confident that it’s certainly His Will and desire that we get there.

The feeling of happiness is something that we associate with conditions and circumstances. If everything in our world is going good, we tend to be happy, but when things turn sour, many of us will begin to think sour thoughts and express sour feelings. God’s Will is that nothing controls us to the degree that we lose sight of who we are and why we’re here. In Colossians 2:7, Heavenly Father tells us that His plan is that our roots are firmly planted in Christ, so that we are not tossed about by all the distractions the devil throws our way. He tells us, “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”

God wants us to be anchored in Jesus Christ, so that we are living in the Spirit of who he is. Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God. He’s the Word made flesh, and his love is so extraordinary because he took on all of our sin and gave his life for us. He said in John 15:13 (NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  If our gratitude and understanding of what Christ has done for us through his love is on a surface level, our roots are not yet as deep as they should and can be. We need to be filled with something that only God in Christ can supply.

If we have even a hint of an inkling that our smiles are sad, we can pray and ask God to fill us with joy on the inside. Only the Lord can give us a smile that is real and filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 tells us that our prayer should be that God, the Source of hope, will fill us utterly and completely with a joy and peace that the world can’t give and the world can’t take away. All we need to do is trust in God’s love. When we trust Him, we’ll overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

In Ephesians 3:14-19 The Message (MSG), the Apostle Paul gives us the perfect blueprint for how to respond to God’s goodness and turn our sad smiles into joyful ones. He said, “My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “A Sad Smile” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

What Happened to That Person?

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For as long as I could remember, I had been in love with Damon Kent. My family moved away for a few years from the town where I grew up.  During that time, I changed of course and matured into a sixteen-year-old girl who could pass for a twenty-year old young woman with no problem. My foray into big city life had afforded me a new-found confidence, so the summer I returned to my hometown, I called Damon. It was a wildly bold move for me, but my time away had not been the most positive experience. I was hoping Damon would turn into my prince, that he would rescue me from the disappointments that came with maturing way ahead of most of my peers.

Damon and I talked the entire summer vacation. We had long conversations on the phone and my crush intensified. After returning from a place where I had no friends, was ridiculed constantly for my accent, and had to wear my mother’s clothes because nothing in the teen section would fit, I needed the ray of hope he offered. There was only one problem, my imagination was larger than life. I was never satisfied with just a little; I always had to take it to the nth degree, and nothing short of this would quench my hunger for the grandiose and extreme.

I imagined Damon and I walking to classes holding hands, stealing a kiss after study hall, and getting engaged in college. Oh yeah, I took it there and beyond, even though we hadn’t seen each other in four years. Finally, the day arrived. I, not having my license yet, would be taxied to high school to register for classes. Damon was attending band camp at school, and we planned to meet up. Butterflies couldn’t touch the huge pigeons flying around in my gut. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I tried to look my best, and felt confident that I did, but it was no match for the fact that I had grown over a foot taller than Damon. When he and his friends spotted me, they behaved like ten-year-old boys. I pretended not to see them, and soldiered on as I had always done.

He had been so incredibly kind and tender over the summer. “What happened to that person?” I thought. This is a question that seemed to plague many of my relationships, and countless others have asked it regarding those that have hurt and betrayed them as well.

I love the saying “go big or go home!” And one of my scripture favs is Ephesians 3:20 (NKJV), “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” The wonderful truth that God ‘goes big’ when it comes to blessing us floods my heart with joy. Even at some of the worse times of my life, I’ve always known that God wanted the best for me and that more out of life was available, but oddly enough, I looked to others to fill my cup instead of Him.

As the desire to partner took center-stage in my life, my big imagination gobbled up the individuals I dated. It was no way that they could meet those expectations, but I had a huge hole in my soul. I imagined that my love would be reciprocated from the object of my affection in such enormous proportions that it would fill me up and then some.

I needed to be loved, but I had not seen another person give the kind of love that I craved. I couldn’t even figure out how to love ME, with all my awkwardness and quirks. How was it that I expected someone to do for me what I couldn’t do for myself? It was a tough question, and 2Peter 2:9 has the answer. It tells us that the Lord knows how to rescue us from our trials. It finally dawned on me that I had been looking for love in all the wrong places. I needed to grow in the love of Christ, and at first it wasn’t so much about how I loved other people. It was about me allowing the roots of his love to grow down in my empty places. I had to trust that he loved me more than I could ever know. I encountered God’s love, strength and power in a way that anchored me as I had never been in my life.

God’s perfect love is the greatest reality of all eternity. Heavenly Father loved me to deliverance, and then healed my broken heart. My work continues to be one of surrendering my need to control how I’m loved by others, and I find that the more I release my need to control, the more my heart swells with gratitude and love for Christ. People will sometimes turn on us, for seemingly no apparent reason. When this happens, we have to remember that our identities are not shaped by what they give us, but by how we love them and ourselves through Christ. In John 15:9-13 The Message (MSG), He tells us, “9-10 I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love. 11-13 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.”■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “What Happened to That Person?” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!