Tag Archives: Victims of Domestic Violence

Worthy of God’s Love

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Roman 8:29-30(NLT)
“29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.”

A woman in her senior years heard that I’m an avid reader of the Bible. She said to me, “When you’re reading the Word, and you come across the statement, ‘Kingdom of Heaven’, ask God to make you worthy of reading His Word.” To some, this might sound like a very pious and humble practice. It was sincere no doubt, but sincerity is no guarantee for truth. Believers living in our era are blessed beyond measure because we have tremendous access to God’s Word. Our all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God did this deliberately. The revelation and understanding we have today exceeds anything that you and I could have ever imagined. Because of what God has done, we have liberty! Galatians 5:1(NLT) tells us, “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” Christ has freed us, and we must do all that we can to ensure we never go backwards when it comes to the liberty we have obtained in Christ.

If a person never reads this wonderful truth in Galatians 5:1 because they felt unworthy to do so, they might not ever be saved. That would indeed be tragic, and it’s not what God wants. Jesus Christ died on the cross for everyone, not just the saved and religious. 1Timothy 2:4(NLT) declares that God “wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.”

The Bible is a spiritual book written to God’s spiritual people. Everyone that is living today doesn’t want to be considered as God’s spiritual people, so the Bible isn’t written to them. Many in the world today have never picked up a Bible or attempted to read it, but for those that are genuinely interested in learning more about our Lord and Savior, God has a plan for them. Romans 8:29 tells us that He chose us in advance to be brothers and sisters of Christ, and He gave us right standing with Him. He stamped us “worthy” through Jesus Christ, and then He gave us His glory! God is God all by Himself. He isn’t redundant in any way whatsoever. So, we can trust and believe that if He stamped us worthy through Christ once, He doesn’t have to do it again.

You and I didn’t choose God first, He chose us first, and our right standing in Him makes us worthy of reading His Word. Ephesians 1:3(NLT) declares, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.” When God says, “all”, He means “all”. Because of the finished work of Christ—the sacrifice and resurrection of our blessed Savior, God has given us ALL spiritual blessings. Not one spiritual blessing do we lack. This is the Gospel! It’s the Good News about Jesus Christ and what he has accomplished for our salvation and eternal life.

In the Old Testament, God’s people were under the covenant He made with Abraham, who is our father of believing because he was fully persuaded that what God promised, He was also able and willing to fulfill. Genesis 17:7(NLT) tells us that God told Abraham, “I will confirm my covenant with you and your descendants after you, from generation to generation. This is the everlasting covenant: I will always be your God and the God of your descendants after you.” There is, and never was, anything more precious, wonderful, and life-giving than being God’s people. He loved them so much that He made a covenant with them, but God’s people did not keep this covenant. They refused to obey His Word.

God did not stop loving them, but He always had a plan for our salvation through Jesus Christ. Hebrews 8:6(NLT) says, “But now Jesus, our High Priest, has been given a ministry that is far superior to the old priesthood, for he is the one who mediates for us a far better covenant with God, based on better promises.” The heart of God was to dwell with His people and keep them safe, just as His desire is to be with us, but those living in Old Testament times would not obey His Word and remain holy. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ established the new covenant between us and God, and now through the new birth reality, God dwells IN us through His Holy Spirit. Hebrews 9:12 tells us that with his own blood, Jesus Christ entered the Most Holy Place once and for all and secured our redemption forever. Verse 15 tells us, “That is why he is the one who mediates a new covenant between God and people, so that all who are called can receive the eternal inheritance God has promised them. For Christ died to set them free from the penalty of the sins they had committed under that first covenant.”

This was God’s plan, not ours. He’s the One who chose us to be His children. Ephesians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” The wealth of what God has planned for us in beyond our greatest dream and imagination, and He planned these good things for us even before we were in our mother’s womb. Romans 5:18(NLT) declares, “Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.” We do not need to ask the Father to make us worthy when He sent Christ to do that over two thousand years ago. God is not redundant in any way. He’s perfection beyond perfection. He sent Christ on a mission, and he accomplished it perfectly.

Think about all that God wanted for us, all that He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to earth to accomplish for our redemption. Think about how he agonized and suffered on the cross before God rose him from dead. Why would God go through all this to make us righteous before Him, and then have us think we are unworthy to read His Word? The answer is that He alone has already made us worthy through Christ by giving us His Holy Spirit to dwell within. God alone has made us worthy of His love through Christ, and we are fully redeemed from the curse of the law. We are free to read and study His Word, to live for Him, and to bring Him glory in all that we do!■

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Worthy of God’s Love”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Get Up and Pray

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Luke 22:44-44 (NLT)
44He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood. 45 At last he stood up again and returned to the disciples, only to find them asleep, exhausted from grief. 46“Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation.”

At one of the most challenging times of his life, our Lord and Savior wanted those closest to him to pray with him. There’s no doubt that part of his laboring in prayer to our Heavenly Father was for the disciples. He wanted the Word that he taught to them to be anchored in their hearts and minds, and to be so to such a degree that they would not fall for the tricks of the enemy and yield to temptation. He knew what he had been sent to do, and it’s not too much of a stretch to think that in his humanity, he wanted to see the disciples persevering with vigilance and prayer during that difficult time. It was not to be. His disciples fell asleep when he had asked them to stay awake and be watchful. They were asleep at the wheel, so to speak, and as children of God, this is the kind of behavior we should never want to mimic.

There’s no question that life comes with opportunities for both joy and pain. However, we are often surprised by just how challenging situations and circumstances on the painful side of life can be. It can be tough to face pain, disappointment, and a broken heart with the joy and faith of Christ. Sometimes, we feel like laying in the bed and crying for days, but our powerful Lord offers us another more meaningful way to handle the hiccups and dilemmas of our lives. His instruction and encouragement to us is to ‘get up and pray’.

Each of us may process emotional distress differently, but at some point, we have to ask ourselves if we are going to believe and trust God to do what He’s promised in His Word. We have nothing like the circumstances our precious Lord and Savior faced, but his example is the one we’re commanded to follow. He was not weak by any means. There has never been or will ever be any human as strong as he was when he carried out his ministry within the earth. Our Heavenly Father was the Source of his strength. So, if there was anyone who would have been exempt from prayer, it would have been Jesus Christ, but he prayed all the time because it is required to remain spiritually strong.

We must pray continually because this is what our Savior has taught us. Mark 1:35(NLT) says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Prayer was his habit pattern and praying early in the mornings meant that before he saw the face of anyone else, he sought the face of God. Again, a habit of earnest prayer is a standard that allows us to remain spiritually strong, so that the difficult seasons of life will not cause us to turn our backs on our faith in God. 

1Peter 4:12-14(NLT) says, “12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you; 13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that at the revelation of His glory you may also rejoice and be overjoyed. 14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory, and of God, rests upon you.” It’s a myth to assume that just because we are followers of the Lord Jesus, and filled with God’s Holy Spirit, that we will not face fiery ordeals. Sometimes, our weaknesses are attacked by the enemy. Other times, we might have to keep quiet when we really want to give people a piece of our minds. We have to make sacrifices and not do some of the things we enjoyed in the past. These sufferings are far from what our Master Jesus endured, but because we are lights living in a dark world, we do share in his sufferings on some level. 

He tells us to keep on rejoicing because even though things are not comfortable, God has blessed us, and the Holy Spirit will comfort and help us to be victorious in Christ. We must not forget that we have the strength of God because our bodies are the Holy Spirit’s temple; he lives inside us. Our Heavenly Father knows that we’re going to go through some tough times, but through Christ, we have the strength to stay encouraged and never give up. So, whatever you’re facing, get up and pray. Pray often. Even though you might have tears and sadness, God is able to heal, deliver, rescue, and restore you, no matter the circumstance. He will show you His power and love if you have faith in Him and make turning to Him in prayer the most important practice of your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Get up and Pray”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Celebrate that He Came, and He’s Coming Again!

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Jesus is the reason for the season. We hear this truism everywhere during this time of year, and rightly so. Those of us that love God and are followers of the Lord Jesus Christ herald the truth of Christmas from the roof tops. We know that the celebration is not about how many presents we have under the tree. It’s about the joy of our blessed Savior being born into the world over two thousand years ago. The blessing of Jesus Christ coming into the world to save us is beyond anything we can imagine. However, as we celebrate his birth, there’s also a little bit of disappointment as well. The world has tried to overshadow the true joy of the birth of Christ with commercialism and anxiety about finances and gift-giving. We live in a time where many children grow up thinking that Santa is deity rather than our glorious Creator and Heavenly Father. They aren’t being taught about the goodness of God and the miracle of Jesus’s birth. This is very sad indeed.

We all remember having butterflies in our tummies as children because we couldn’t wait until Christmas morning. It’s one of the reasons we love it so much today, but the wonder of Christmas is the miraculous change that the life of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, made in us and all of creation. So, we can’t allow ourselves to get lost in the glitz and glamor of the world’s Christmas culture. We can’t lose sight of the reality of God’s glory that is revealed to us in Christ. Our Heavenly Father changed everything for humanity through the birth of His only begotten Son. He demonstrated His great love for us all by allowing His Son to come into the world, and this must be our true focus.

As followers of Christ, of course we focus on his first Advent, his arrival—his birth, which was prophesied by God through His prophet, Isaiah. In Isaiah 7:14(ESV), God told His people living during Old Testament times, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.” In Isaiah 9:6-7(ESV), God proclaimed, “6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.”

As we know, God is perfect and precise. He keeps His law and accordingly, He establishes His truth. The law given in Deuteronomy 19:15(NLT), says “You must not convict anyone of a crime on the testimony of only one witness. The facts of the case must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” This is a theme of God’s truth that can be found throughout His Word. Jesus Christ is the promised One, the Messiah and Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace that God prophesied about through Isaiah over 700 years prior to His only begotten Son’s birth. God establishes this Word spoken through Isaiah in the Gospels, and He does so through Simeon and Anna, in Luke 2.

During the time of the birth of Jesus, the custom was to make a purification offering after the birth of a child. If the child was a boy, he had to be dedicated to the Lord. So, Mary and Joseph, Jesus’s parents, took him to Jerusalem. Luke 2:25-31(NLT) says, “25 At that time there was a man in Jerusalem named Simeon. He was righteous and devout and was eagerly waiting for the Messiah to come and rescue Israel. The Holy Spirit was upon him 26 and had revealed to him that he would not die until he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. 27 That day the Spirit led him to the Temple. So when Mary and Joseph came to present the baby Jesus to the Lord as the law required, 28 Simeon was there. He took the child in his arms and praised God, saying, 29 “Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised. 30 I have seen your salvation, 31 which you have prepared for all people.”

Simeon was one witness according to God’s law of Deuteronomy 19:15, Anna was another. She was a prophet, the daughter of Penuel, and was at an advanced age of 84. Anna’s age equals seven twelves, a sign from our Heavenly Father of divine completeness. Anna’s father’s name was taken from the name of the place where Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, saw an appearance of the face of God, and unlike many who could not survive the sight, Jacob lived. Genesis 32:30(NLT) says, “Jacob named the place Peniel (which means “face of God”), for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.” And, so it is with Anna and Simeon, they were waiting in the temple to see God in Christ face to face.

Imagine the joy that Simeon and Anna experienced. They waited decades for the comfort of seeing the Savior that had been promised. They were God’s appointed witnesses that the Messiah, the Prince of Peace had been born! The joy of that moment was inexplicable, but it is the joy you and I should express every day. He was born! The Savior of the entire world was born into the world! It should fill our lives with excitement and glee every day that we live and breathe.

God always, always completes what He begins. He is the same today, yesterday, and forever. He is faithful, true, and brings life and light to us all. In the hustle and bustle of the season, we so need to keep our eyes focused on the reason for the season. As the Body of Christ, we are standing between two proclamations, the Lord is come, and the Lord is coming again. So, with all that is going on, let’s celebrate the birth of Christ with joy. Let’s focus on his love, because you and I are the witnesses and recipients of the gift and glory of Jesus Christ, and we can hold on to the jubilant reality that indeed he is coming again! ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Celebrate that He Came, and He’s Coming Again!”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God is With You

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Isaiah 41:10(ESV)
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God is with us when we go through some of the darkest times of our lives. When we feel lost and don’t know what to do, and we’re wondering how we ended up in the space and place we’re in, we can be encouraged in the Lord. Our Heavenly Father is with us all the time, and He is always willing and able to help us in our times of need. Sometimes, we let our feelings get in the way of accepting this truth. Then we fail to acknowledge the presence and power of God. Romans 8:1(NKJV) says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Feelings of condemnation can enter the picture when we don’t feel good enough, or we think that God won’t hear our prayers because we’ve done wrong things. This isn’t true, and we shouldn’t let feelings of unworthiness keep us from reaching out to our Heavenly Father.

God tells us in Revelation 22:13 that He is Alpha and Omega, the first and last, and the beginning and the end. He knows the end at the beginning, and He knows the beginning at the end. He’s not forgetful, and there isn’t anything that He does not know. He said in Isaiah 55:9(NLT), “For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” God has all power and intelligence, and our problems and issues are never too big for Him to solve.

Domestic violence and abuse usually occurs in the shadows, and most victims try to keep it hidden, but we can’t hide it from God, although many of us behave as though we can. We might think He doesn’t see our pain and that He will not help us escape the constant fear that many live under. With those who suffer domestic violence and abuse, relationships become an emotional roller-coaster. The abuser may be charming and sweet at times. They are often apologetic and very passionate, and this leaves us torn between staying and leaving. It’s also the reason that many individuals remain in abusive and unhealthy relationships. They feel imprisoned on so many levels, but rest assured, through Jesus Christ, there is a way of escape.

Abusive relationships and situations can bring a lot of shame as well as other emotions that keep us living life on the edge, but no matter the circumstance, we can’t limit what God can do to bring us freedom and wholeness. Things happen in this world that we live in that are brutal, chaotic, and bring a lot of suffering. This gets complicated by our lack of knowledge about our identities in Christ and a misunderstanding of who God is. Proverbs 19:21(ESV) tells us, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” The burdens of life weigh heavy on us, so much so that we forget that God has a purpose for our lives, and there’s no way to get around the reality that His purpose must be fulfilled.

God’s purpose is for us to live in Christ, to be in relationship with Him through Christ and to do all the good things that He planned for us long ago. His purpose is not for us to be abused in any way or to suffer in life, and we must allow for the reality that our minds and hearts need to change to see His love in a greater way.

We should never allow anything to cause us to shrink away from God. He knew the mistakes we’d make before we made them. He knows our weaknesses and said in 2Corinthians 12:9(NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” The most important thing in life is to be in relationship with God. It’s so wonderful to know that our relationship with God isn’t dependent on us and how much we love Him, it’s all about Him and His love for us, because He loves us no matter what. So, the very best thing we can do for ourselves is to acknowledge and be thankful that God is always with us. He is always willing to come to our aid, and if we ask Him in prayer, He’ll take the things we did wrong and use them to teach us to love Him, ourselves, and others through His grace, strength, and power. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God is With You”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Keep Bitterness Out and Love In

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James 1:20(ESV)
 “For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

A woman ran into an old high school classmate she hadn’t seen in over thirty-years. They were attending a repast after a funeral, and she spotted him while looking for a seat. She made a beeline to where he was sitting and without a formal greeting, she said to him “Why don’t you move down a couple of seats so I can sit down.” This to someone she hadn’t seen in over thirty years, and the oddity and familiarity of that moment didn’t escape him. With a humorous chuckle, he said, “You hadn’t changed a bit. You’re still just as bossy and mean as you were in high school.” Bossy and mean is what her husband used to say about her when they were married. It’s why they divorced. He told her that her bitterness had canceled out the love.

In significant relationships, a couple becomes very comfortable with one another. They see each other’s vulnerabilities and strengths, and they also see things about one another that they don’t like. James 1:19(NLT) tells us, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” This is God’s standard for how we should behave towards one another, but when things get heated, we use our mouths to go for the jugular. We sometimes resort to name calling, and bad language. We put each other down and say words that we wish we could take back, words that can cause irreparable damage to the relationship. 

We must understand that God is the One who sets the standard for how people should treat one another. He tells us in Ephesians 4:32(ESV) “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” 1Peter 3:9(ESV) commands, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.” And Colossians 3:12-14(NLT) says, “12Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

These are God’s directives. They are not suggestions. They represent the conduct of someone who is saved by His grace and seeks to love and honor Him with all that they are. When we step outside the boundaries of love’s way and look away from God’s directives, we punish ourselves and subtract from our level of blessedness. To assume that we can violate God’s standard for how we should conduct ourselves in His love but then expect the rewards of a loving and respectful relationship is irrational and unreasonable. The manifestation of a blessing requires that we meet the conditions that cause it to materialize. God’s Word is law! It does not yield to our whims, arrogance, or rebellion against it. If we choose to ignore it, we will live beneath our privilege, and our relationships will not be what they could and should be.

God tells us in 1Corinthians 13:4(ESV) that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.” Bitterness is the manifestation of rebellion or neglect of 1Corinthians 13:4. Nothing unkind, selfish, arrogant, vengeful, or envious can be birthed when God’s love is our unyielding commitment and way of living. God’s love must be worn like a second skin, and we should be this kind of person before we get into relationships, so that we are honoring God and putting Him first from the very beginning.  

2Peter 3:18(ESV) says, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity.” What does it say about a person who, after thirty years, is still stuck in the habit patterns of bitterness and resentment and refuses to live in God’s grace? It says that they are not growing in Christ the way He commands. God wants us to spiritually grow in Christ so that we live in a continual cycle of giving and receiving genuine love.

When we are habitually and frequently stepping outside the boundaries of God’s love in our significant relationships, we are making the wrong choices. We are choosing to ignore God’s standard and acquiescing into levels of darkness that are injurious and not sustainable in the relationship. We’ve assumed a certain comfort level that isn’t ours to assume, and because of this, we’ve taken license to say and do things that take us out of the example of Christ. We don’t have the right to treat people anyway we chose. God says we can only treat them with the love of Christ, and that must be our code for life. There’s a cost for going outside the boundaries of love, and we should avoid it. Understand that a comfort level in any relationship doesn’t afford you the option of going low. You must choose to keep bitterness out of your relationship and do all that you can to remain rooted and grounded in the love of Christ. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Keep Bitterness Out and Love In”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Not All Scars Are Visible

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Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

It’s been seven years since Karen’s divorce, and she still talks about it as if it happened yesterday. Karen and Kevin were high school sweethearts and on the day of their wedding, she could not have been more captivated and in love. Kevin felt the same way, but Karen noticed that his love and affection often came with conditions and waned from time to time. This became apparent after she gave birth to their first son.

Karen struggled to lose her baby weight, and Kevin complained about her eating habits. He often criticized her for not being able to lose the weight, and she felt he withheld his affection at times as a way of punishing her. After their second child was born two years later, she gained more weight, and with taking care of toddlers and working, it seemed harder to lose. She began to feel bad about herself. Kevin had been her best friend and the love of her life. She had counted on his support for as long as she could remember and never dreamed that he would body shame her.  

When the person you count on most in the world doesn’t show genuine concern and support, but instead hurts you deeply, it can wound your heart or open up old wounds again. You might feel devalued and very lonely. It’s important for us to know that God understands and wants to help. Philippians 4:6(NLT) tells us “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Our Heavenly Father wants us to bring all our cares to Him, including the emotional wounds that occur when our physicality is verbally demeaned by someone that is supposed to have our backs. 

1Peter 3:7(NLT) says, “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” This is the standard that God has set for husbands, but when it came to her weight, Kevin didn’t do this. He didn’t honor Karen and treat her with understanding. His treatment was far from the dream of marriage she had envisioned. The disappointment of it on top of everything else cut deep, but Karen didn’t open up to Kevin about how hurt she was.

She’d try to reassure him that she was working on losing weight, and she tried many diets, but she didn’t lose as much weight as Kevin wanted. She couldn’t get back to the figure she once had, and eventually she was okay with that. After a while, Kevin’s complaints and comments about her weight lessened, but her feelings had changed about her husband. She didn’t notice it until Kevin wanted to visit his parents with the kids. She couldn’t bring herself to get excited over it, even though she dearly loved his folks. She didn’t want to go anywhere with him really. She felt ashamed and that he was always judging her. The scars from his ridicule and complaints about her weight were not visible, but they were there and they were unresolved. 

He had never apologized, and she had never told him how she truly felt. A lack of communication, compassion, and support can deepen the scars from shame and insecurity in matters like these. When neither partner is willing to confront issues with prayer and the love of Jesus Christ, they fail to introduce God’s healing which is desperately needed. Romans 8:29(NLT) tells us, “No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This verse communicates the overwhelming, unlimited, and never-ending love that God has for us. He will never stop loving us, and this same love comes to live in our hearts when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

The scars from emotional and verbal abuse will rob a relationship of intimacy, and it also shows us very clearly that our brand of love is not enough glue to hold a relationship together. When times are challenging in our relationships, often the wounds are deep, and the residuals and emotional scars can impact our affection and devotion towards the other person. This doesn’t mean that we have to live in despair or give up on who we are. What it means is that spiritual growth in Christ is necessary, and at least one of the partners must have some recognition of this. 

Many couples are dealing with hurt that has been inflicted by abusive and unkind words, as well as other unresolved pain between them. These scars are not visible and the  issues that caused them may seem insurmountable, but nothing is impossible with the power of God’s love. When we feel bad on the inside, we eventually end up hurting others and sometimes it’s the person we love most. We can do something about this, and we should. We must always remember that our humility and honesty with ourselves, others, and most importantly, with God, will open the door to the love of Christ. If we are diligent in prayer and faith, we will introduce God’s healing within and in our relationships as well.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Not All Scars Are Visible”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Unfamiliar Pain

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Many of us are struggling with sadness because we’ve been emotionally hurt so badly in the past. When it comes to relationships, we might feel as though we can’t catch a break. Nothing seems to go as we planned. Why does finding and keeping love seem to be so difficult? All we want to do is love someone in a way that is fulfilling and meaningful, and we want to receive that same quality of love back. It’s simple enough, but the truth is that not everyone knows how to love in a fulfilling and meaningful way. Many individuals are not interested in giving quality love, even when they receive it. When we end up choosing someone like this as a partner, we sometimes set ourselves up for heartbreak. That’s not easy medicine to take, but it can heal our hearts if we’re willing to listen to God’s direction and instruction. 

We know what kind of over-the-counter medicine to take for a headache or a common cold, but gut-wrenching heartbreak is unfamiliar pain. It’s not like breaking a bone. It’s a wound we can’t touch and an ache that no pill can take away. This unfamiliar pain is probably the only kind that’s on repeat in the lives of so many people. The reason for this is because we continue to make the same choices and same mistakes when it comes to significant relationships.

After a heartbreak, some of us end up in a very lonely place, and we’re in a position where loneliness continues to persist. One of the major factors in our struggle with relationships and loneliness is our habit of making wrong choices and decisions. Take Lexie for example. Three years ago, she did everything but kidnap Devin and force him down the aisle to get him to marry her. He didn’t want to get married, but he was no match for Lexie’s persistence. Her last two long-term relationships had ended because of it, and she refused to accept any more rejection. Devin went along with the big extravagant wedding and honeymoon that Lexie had always wanted, but soon after, it was clear that the marriage wasn’t going to last.

Proverbs 2:6(ESV) tells us, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” The wisdom to make good choices and decisions comes from God, from reading and studying His Word. Lexie wasn’t interested in God’s wisdom. She didn’t ask for it and wouldn’t follow it. She had a habit of jumping into relationships too soon, and often with the wrong person. She set unattainable expectations and was in denial about a lot of red flags that would have helped her avoid the heartbreak that inevitably came her way.  Divorced for a year now, Lexie hasn’t changed. She hasn’t dated anyone seriously, but if a willing vessel came along, she’d do things exactly as she has in the past.

Like Lexie, many of us have made choices that we initially thought were very good and it ended up being very bad. We led, not with wisdom, but with our hearts. We took a leap and did so because everyone says that this is what we should do. “Follow your heart…” they say. “Your heart will never steer you wrong…” we’re told. Jeremiah 17:9(ESV) tells us about the human heart and how fickle and deceptive it can be. It says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” There’s nothing more deceptive than the human heart, and that’s why we should never lean on our own understanding about things. We must lean on the Lord.

Life will reveal that making important decisions and choices by our hearts is not always a good idea. In fact, it’s rarely a good idea. Our hearts can lead us down a very dark path, and this is a piece of information we desperately need to have in our arsenals. We all have an idea of how we want to be loved, and some of us have unrealistic expectations about this. We’re in the wrong lane when it comes to the quality of love we receive and give. Those expectations must be adjusted before we can partner in a relationship wisely and from a place of strength.

Life is given by God to be lived out in faith, not fantasy. Romans 5:3-5(NLT) “3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Relationships that are built on fantasy will not last. They must be built on our faith in God, and this means we must demonstrate the endurance and strength of character that He requires.

Life is not a romance movie. It’s filled with ups and downs, and some of the downs can be devastating. Our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, didn’t keep this a secret. In John 16:33, he told us about the troubles that come with life on earth, but he also made it clear that we can have peace in our hearts because he overcame the world, and through him, we will to. Jesus Christ gives us peace, but the world will cause some trouble in our lives, and the way that we overcome that trouble is through our faith in him. 1John 5:4(NL) says, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

Significant relationships can present some of our greatest challenges. If we add unrealistic or unattainable expectations to the mix, we’re setting ourselves up for disaster. God doesn’t want this for us. He wants us to learn to walk by the Spirit so that we can be wise and make wise relationship decisions.

Don’t make the unfamiliar pain of heartbreak a familiar but unwelcome guest. Don’t let it be on repeat in your life. James 1:5(NLT) says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Let God’s wisdom lead you in your relationship choices, and that includes the choice about the person you are considering dating. Have faith that God will lead you in the right direction, and do not leap unless He tells you that it’s okay to do so. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Unfamiliar Pain”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Through Rivers of Difficulty, God is With You

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Luke 12:6-7(NLT)
“6 What is the price of five sparrows–two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. 7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”

Pam and Jesse have been married for thirty-five years. They have three grown children and two grandchildren. While visiting her mother in Florida for a few days, she received a phone call that her husband had suddenly passed away of a heart attack. Not more than two months prior, they’d celebrated his sixtieth birthday. Pam initially froze from the shock of the news. She had just spoken with her husband that morning, and she just couldn’t process what had happened, but as the hours passed, something completely unexpected happened. Pam felt almost a sense of relief, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 

Jesse was a very intelligent and resourceful man. He was also proud, stubborn, unaffectionate, and always had to be right. An electrician by trade, he was masterful at repairing and building just about anything. He always wanted more out of life and resented his parents for not helping him go to college after high school to become an engineer. Throughout their marriage, he had taken the brunt of his disappointments and frustrations out on Pam. From the very beginning, he turned to alcohol to cope with stressful situations, but things got worse after the children were born. He was verbally and physically abusive, and his two sons grew up disliking their father because of it. Alcoholism and abuse had been the norm in their home, but for Jesse, marital counseling was out of the question, and so was divorce. Pam felt that she had spent the last thirty-five years holding her breath in the prison that Jesse had made for them all. When he died, she felt she was finally able to come up for air.

Ephesians 5:28-29(ESV) tells us, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Jessie didn’t do a decent job of loving himself, so Pam really didn’t stand a chance. He couldn’t love Pam as the Word teaches in Ephesians 5:28-29, because he didn’t allow God’s Word and love to saturate his heart. He tried to mask his resentment and anger with alcohol, and after he turned 50, his body began to betray him with numerous health issues.

Pam said she blamed herself for not mustering up the courage to leave Jesse years ago, but she didn’t want her children to grow up without their father. She also didn’t think she could make it on her own. She was sometimes angry with God that things had turned out the way they did, but she hadn’t considered the reality that life is full of choices, and sometimes we repeatedly make the wrong ones. At fifty-seven, she’s beginning to understand that whether it’s when you’re twenty-five or fifty-five, life will push us all to confront how we see and value our own selves. 

2Timothy 1:7(NLT) tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” This is what we have received as God’s children! Through the Holy Spirit, we have received power, love, and self-discipline or self-control. We are empowered to live with authority and dominion over our own lives, but many of us are not taught the truth of 2Timothy 1:7. We make mistakes because of our insecurities and self-doubt, and the enemy continually hurls situations and circumstances that keep us down and separated from the mind and heart required to exercise power, love, and self-discipline.

Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 12:6-7 that God knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows everything there is to know about us, and He also knows what He has given us. Ephesians 1:3(NLT) demonstrates God’s overwhelming generosity towards us. It says, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.” We are pressed down, shaken together, and packed to overflowing, and God tells us this in His Word. He wants us to know how richly He’s blessed us, and He leaves it totally to us to reach out and grab all that He’s provided.

God told His people in Isaiah 43:2(NLT), “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” He will do this and so much more for those who love and honor Him. Like many of us, it took Pam several years to recognize this. God had not let her down, because it is impossible for Him to disappoint us. He would not place us in a position where we have to wait until someone dies to experience His freedom. We can live in His peace and liberty this very moment if we will trust Him. He will bring us through the rivers of difficulty and not let us drown. We will witness this continually if we have faith in His strength, love, and power, and trust in all that He has given us in Christ.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “Through Rivers of Difficulty, God is With You”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Don’t Let Anger Control You

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Ephesians 4:26-27(NLT)
“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

Grace and her sister have had a contentious relationship since they were young. Fighting weekly was the norm for them. Their parents saw it as sibling rivalry and did nothing to help them get along. Now that they’re adults, nothing has changed. Holidays, birthday celebrations, weddings, dinners with their parents, no matter the occasion, because of their deep-seated anger, these two sisters ignore each other and hardly ever speak.

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, disapproval, and hostility. It is a mistake to think that once the situation or event that caused us to feel anger is over that it will go away. Sometimes, the anger doesn’t go away. Instead, it remains in our souls and increases its grip on us in the background. It can be a strong sense of powerlessness that causes us to lash out whenever we feel threatened. For many of us, it’s the go-to emotion that we use to cover up other pain and hurt. Our minds tell us that holding on to the anger with resentment or a grudge seems easier or more beneficial than to forgive. Grace and her sister took that approach. They never learned to address their anger through the love of Jesus Christ, and because they didn’t, they lived beneath their privilege.

As we look back over our childhoods, some of us might remember that there were a lot of passively angry people within our everyday environment. They used profanity and didn’t have a whole lot of compassion for the feelings and well-being of others. Some of us who saw this picked up those habits without giving it much thought. We took on this anger and used it in our words, attitudes, and manner of dealing with even those relationships that are dearest to us.

My nephew told me about a Christian woman that is a notoriously good baker. One Saturday, he went to a bake sale where she was selling her homemade cookies. The place was packed. People were getting antsy, and the baker was feeling pressured. They had been waiting in line for her cookies, and when it looked as though they would soon be sold out, things got a little disorderly. They began to yell out their orders rather than waiting their turn. My nephew noticed that the baker’s son had become agitated by everything, and when he yanked on her apron to get her attention, she spoke to him in a manner that was harsh, angry, and profane.

Many of us have seen mothers do this in public and not thought anything of it, but we should think of what it does to the child’s heart. God commands us in Ephesians 4:29(NLT), “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” The habit patterns of anger can be very easily passed on to us, and when they are, God commands us to root them out of our hearts.

Proverbs 14:12(NLT) says, “There is a path before each person that seems right,
but it ends in death.”  We think we have it all figured out, but the truth is, we can only see as far as our eyes allow us, and that is very limited. God sees the entire scope of our lives, so we must always trust His leadership and guidance, because only He can make our path clear and straight. There will always be things that will come against us and try to hinder or hold us back, but we must not respond in anger, because anger will set us further back. It will separate us from God’s blessings if we do not deal with in through His love.

Proverbs 14:17(NLT) tells us, “Short-tempered people do foolish things.” Many of us have witnessed this firsthand. People can appear to be very calm and non-reactionary. They look as though they’ve got it all together, but underneath all that exterior is a rage that seeps out at the most unassuming times. They are angry at the world but cover it up with a smile. This isn’t what God wants for us. He doesn’t want us to be fake. He wants us to exercise self-control that comes from trusting Him with all our hearts.

Anger should not be dominant or dormant in a loving person. As a child of God, you can’t hide behind it, because anger will never remain hidden. It must be nailed to the cross and left there. We must relinquish it and put on more of the love of Christ in its place.

Psalm 4:4(NLT) commands, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.”  Life will respond to what we give it, and it knows when anger is ruling the roost. It will show up in a way that keeps people at bay. Anger will keep a future husband circling around us but never making contact, because we haven’t created a soft place for his love to land. Let’s not do this to ourselves. Proverbs 14:22(NLT) says, “If you plan to do good, you will receive unfailing love and faithfulness.” So, plan to root out any anger and rage that is in your heart, so you can both give and receive the kind of unfailing love and faithfulness that God wants you to have. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Let Anger Control You”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Stretch to Take Hold of the Promise

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Genesis 18 tells us that three men came to visit Abraham. This record suggests that he recognized they were not ordinary men, because he ran to meet them and bowed himself to the ground before the leader of the three. He then offered them hospitality, as was customary during the time in which he lived. Abraham was honored by their presence and wanted to present the best, so he sent word to his wife, Sarah, to quickly make a meal of the finest quality. He then took it to them, and he stood by under a tree as they ate this meal. These men asked, “Where is Sarah, your wife?” In a usual context, men outside the family would not dare to inquire after a man’s wife. During that time, women were not seen as equal to men, and the culture was such that they remained quiet and behind the scenes. So, the mention of Sarah’s name tells us, as the readers of these scriptures, that this visit was heavenly, and the question represented the visit’s spiritual significance.

This was not the first time that Abraham had been visited by heavenly hosts. God had big plans for this ordinary man and his wife, and their faith needed the intervention of the supernatural in order to manifest the promise God had made to them. Sarah was in her senior years, way past the age of childbearing, but God ordained that she should deliver a child in her old age. The event would be miraculous, and this child would be produced from their faith in Him. This birth would exceed the boundaries of human expectation and understanding, and it would also demonstrate that Abraham and Sarah were fully persuaded that what God promises, He is willing and able to perform.

We need some Abraham and Sarah faith, and we also need to understand that they didn’t just automatically arrive at the place of unwavering faith. They went through some things. They were at times challenged by their fears, and in some cases, struggled with doubt and unbelief. This happens to us as well. We need to prepare our minds and hearts for the reality that life is dynamic, and it will stretch our faith in ways that are not always comfortable. Our desires prove this out for us, because how badly and sincerely we want our lives to change will be tested.

Philippians 4:19(ESV) tells us, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” When we give our lives to Jesus Christ and begin to live for him, we become God’s children. We can then have a confident expectation that God will take care of our needs, because this is what He has promised to do. He will supply all our needs and do so from His rich and infinite supply, but we must be mindful of the reality that God is not into greed. He has promised to supply our needs, but He will not support greediness, so we must keep that in check.

2Corinthians 9:8(NLT) says, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” Sometimes, we want things that we do not need. We are thankful to God for our current level of blessing, but we find that we need to expand. Our lives must increase as we move from one level of blessing to the next. This happens because we desire a fuller expression of all that we are, and we need greater resources—greater people, relationships, and tools—to fulfill our greatest potential. This desire for expansion and greater expression is in all rational human beings.

We don’t need new cars, clothes, shoes, and gadgets; we want them. We feel they will aid us in our quest to go higher, and our Heavenly Father’s grace will increase towards us in this manner, but there’s something we must understand. An increase in the good work that we do for God’s Kingdom must accompany our desire to go higher. This is the part that many of us miss.

God doesn’t want our lives to be stagnant. He wants them to be ever growing in Christ! As we grow in Christ, our needs and desires change, but our desire to do more for the Kingdom should change as well. When some of us hear this, we might laugh as Sarah did when she heard the prophecy of the three men. Genesis 18:12-15(NLT) tells us, “12 So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?” 13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

Sarah couldn’t see it, and this is where many of us are today. We’re asking for the blessing, but our minds can’t fathom doing a greater work for God than we’re currently doing. We must ask ourselves if we are really exercising faith when we expect God to give us the thing that we’ve prayed to receive but we don’t have faith that He will increase us spiritually and cause our ministries and good works to expand. One of the two should take higher precedence in our lives, and that is increasing in our gifts, talents, and abilities so that we can do greater works and please God in a greater way.

From the time the Word of the Lord was given to them, to the time that our dear sister in faith, Sarah, conceived a child, her faith and believing increased dramatically. She became sold out and fully persuaded in the Words God had spoken. She was convinced that even in her old age, the grace of God would do the miraculous and allow her to mother the child she and Abraham had so desperately wanted. Sarah stretched to take hold of the promise, and that is exactly what we must do. We cannot become weary in well doing, instead, we must tune in to the Lord and listen to what He says. He will give us revelation and instruction, and they will increase our faith to do greater works so that we are poised to welcome the newness He brings into our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Stretch to Take Hold of the Promise”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!