In my opinion, the most insidious part of abusive behavior is manipulation. Many of us fall into this trap without realizing we’re doing it. There are things that we said we’d never accept, things that were a part of our zero-tolerance boundary, but gradually, we give up little pieces of it. We’re spoken to dismissively, as if our opinion has no value. Our level of commitment to the relationship is taken for granted, and we compromise the affection and warmth we deserve for even the smallest demonstration of care. Not only are we not getting what we need, we’re not sure we even know what that is anymore. We have to come to grips with the reality that manipulators can pull us in and pull us down before we know it. They are both perceptive and deceptive in ways that undermine our emotional well-being.
Any time we tune off our own self-validation for the sake of accommodating someone who isn’t emotionally available, we’re denying ourselves the opportunity to develop spiritually. God is extremely interested in our well-being. In 3John 1:2, He tells us that He wants us to be in good health, and He wants our souls to prosper. Well, this can’t happen if we’re hurting ourselves and using someone else to do it.
God teaches us throughout His Word that the foundation of our relationship with Him is faith. In Hebrews 11:6, we learn that without faith, we can’t please God. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to us that all good relationships will be founded in pretty much the same way. Trust will be a central component. Not deception and manipulation, but wholehearted trust that is anchored in honesty, support, generosity, and kindness.
God’s Word gives us the perfect visual of what this trust looks like from all angles, His and ours. He tells us in 3John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” In John 3:16 (NKJV), Jesus Christ said, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” And in John 10:10, he said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. God’s got our backs! All day and in every way, He’s taken care of us. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually; He solidified everything we will ever need, and then He said, “Trust Me!”
He gave us the goods first, through our Lord and Savior, and then lovingly begs us to place our faith in Him so that we can share in all His wonderful treasures. Note that God did not ask us to place our trust in shabby, bottom-tier promises. Let that one marinate with you a little bit.
He wants us to walk in truth; He gave us His one and only magnificent and powerful, begotten Son, and through him we have life that never ends; and he made a more than abundant life available through His Son, Jesus Christ as well. Most of us would be happy with just an abundant life, but God deals in the exceedingly abundant! He’s made it possible for us to have more than we can possibly imagine through Christ. Ask yourself why?
Why did Heavenly Father give us these exceedingly precious blessings, and why is it so important that we know about His promises?
Here’s the uncompromising and unyielding truth, you will only accept what you feel you are worthy to receive. Your relationships will mirror this in every way.
God, the Creator of the universe, has given us such extraordinary blessings and promises, because He wants us to know how HE sees us. He wants us to measure our worth by HIS standard, not by the standard of someone that is narcissistic, selfish, and manipulative. That’s not the best, and you deserve God’s best. ■
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
“You Deserve God’s Best” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!