James 1:5(ESV)
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

Noemi is a girlfriend of mine, and we decided to go out to dinner together to catch up. We were just finishing up when her boyfriend, Jake, called to say that he would need to break their plans for the weekend. He’s a truck driver, so she’s used to him being on the road, but this time, she felt things were different. He’s been distant lately. At times, she says his attitude and words are hurtful and aggressive. She told me, “I think he may have found someone else! He’s just not the same, and I don’t know what I’m going to do! I really need him in my life!” When will we understand the only person that we truly really need in our lives is Jesus Christ? Without knowing him and his love, we can be easily deceived into thinking that another human being can give us what only God can.

We read it in romance novels and see it on just about every form of media out there. Through them all, women are taught to make the significant man in their lives their everything, and this is never a good move. When we believe our prayers are answered, and we find someone that appears to be compatible, some of take all our eggs and put them in his basket, so to speak. We immediately invest times, energy, and other resources into this man, without a green light from the Lord that this is the man God has sent.

As women, we should be confident that our eggs are well preserved and beautifully adorned. These eggs are representative of wonderful goodies like our spiritual well-being in Christ and our level of confidence and authority in our Blessed Redeemer. They also represent our womanhood, self-esteem, and our capacity to love, grow, and thrive in God’s peace. As you can see, our eggs are very valuable, and this is the way we ought to view them. Placing all our eggs in a man’s basket without investigating the condition of his basket or his capacity to handle one, is not wise, and it often leads to heartbreak.

Is the heartbreak worth it?
Proverbs 4:7(NLT) tells us, “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” Our Heavenly Father is a God of order, and He leaves nothing to chance. He’s set the priority that leads us to a fulfilling and meaningful existence, and this priority is wisdom. It’s the principal things, which means it must be the first step in acquiring all that God has for us. Proverbs 1:7(NLT) says, “Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” We should never want it to be said that we will not listen and despise wisdom and discipline. Wisdom is more than just acquiring knowledge. It’s the right and proper use of the knowledge we’ve acquired; and honoring and reverencing God is where it all starts.

We must be wise, especially in relationships, and we must seek understanding from God’s Word so that we can accurately use the wisdom we’ve acquired. Without wisdom we make mistakes, and this is where heartbreaks makes its grand entrance. Without wisdom, we invest our resources and energies into a man that was never meant for us. We allow his baggage to become our baggage, and we become so weighted down that we can’t see straight. Then, when things inevitably crumble, and he decides he no longer values what we have to give, some of us use this as an excuse to fall apart. It’s important for us to know that we’re the ones to decide how we’re going to respond to heartbreak. We have a choice. We can continue to spiral, or we can release the baggage and choose to trust wholeheartedly in God. We can choose to believe in the strength and power He’s given us through Jesus Christ.

There can be no question that we learn from our mistakes, but there can also be no doubt that it’s best not to make the mistake in the first place. Mistakes often cause us to lose time, momentum, and stamina. This is especially true with heartbreak. It’s not worth it to put ourselves through heartbreak when it can be avoided. James 1:5 gives us a strategy for choosing the right person for our lives. It tells us that if we don’t know or we’re unsure, ask God, and He will not be upset if we keep asking for His wisdom and help. Our Heavenly Father will let you know what you’re working with because He wants you to avoid heartbreak and to have a blessed and bountiful existence.

Jesus Christ told the disciples in Mark 11:22-23(NLT), “22 Have faith in God. 23 I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” God is our everything, and no human being deserves or can handle the heft of that distinction. A human being can’t make you, and if the man leaves you tomorrow, that’s not going to break you. God is your sufficiency and the Source of your blessings. Have faith in Him. He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to save us from the destruction of sin. So, let go of the baggage. You might have thought it was a basket, but it was baggage you don’t need. Let it go, be more committed to grow in Christ, and always let God’s wisdom be your guide.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Let Go of the Baggage”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!