Red Flag Alert

Posted on August 27, 2025 by daaorg1214

1 Peter 5:8-9 (NLT)
“8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

Imagine a strobing red siren flashing and sounding an alarm that danger is near. That is what this passage should represent for us. It’s a red flag alert from the Lord. He’s warning us that we have an enemy, and we should watch out for him, because he wants to pounce on our lives and devour them. At first glance of 1 Peter 5:8, we might become fearful but that isn’t what our loving and merciful Heavenly Father wants. In this passage, He not only gives us this warning about our great enemy; He instructs us regarding what we must do in order to remain on victory’s side. He tells us to stand firm against the enemy, and we do this by holding fast in the faith of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

It’s important that we understand that the devil is our spiritual enemy. We are not able to see him with physical sight, but we can most definitely see him at work in the lives of many people that try to come against us. We should never be asleep on the job when it comes to satan and his tricks. The diligence and wisdom of Christ are our weapons, and therefore we must study God’s Word, so that we are increasing continually in faith.

Our issue is that many of us haven’t been diligent to study God’s Word. Perhaps we’re concerned that we can’t connect it with the problems we’re dealing with, or that reading it will not impact us or our situations, but neither of these opinions are true. 2Peter 1:3-4(The Message) says, “Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust.” Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ tells us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life. God’s Will is for each of us to become intimately acquainted with Christ. When we know who Jesus Christ is, we know who we are, because Christ is everything that God created us to be!

God’s Word introduces us to ourselves. Many people live their whole lives ignoring this. They seek to know themselves by their talents, gifts, and abilities. We think we can find ourselves by attaching to others, but none of this will lead us to the truth of our identities. Our Heavenly Father has gifted us with all that we need to live a more than abundant reality through Christ. As we learn more about him, layer after layer, we’ll discover the excellence of God’s plan for our lives as the treasure of who He has made us in Christ is revealed.

Lies and deceit are the enemy’s tricks, and if we believe things that are not true about God and ourselves, the enemy will try to forge his way into our hearts and minds. We must heed the red flag alert that God has placed in His Word. Ephesians 6:10-11(NLT) tells us, “10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” Stay alert and recognize your strength in our Master Jesus. Our union with him is a limitless resource, so be confident that God has equipped you to stand firm against any strategy the enemy tries to use. Declare that you are who God says you are and be a representative of the authority and victory that Christ has given to us all. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Missed Red Flags

Posted on June 4, 2025 by daaorg1214

Ecclesiastes 6:10(NLT)
“Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny.”

Eric filed for divorce from Mona one week before Thanksgiving. They had dated for five years and had only been married for three. Prior to them tying the knot, the relationship had its problems and went through a series of on-and-off again several times. Their families were skeptical that the marriage would last and were surprised it had made it as long as it did. Eric never wanted to get married, but finally succumbed when Mona forced the issue with an ultimatum. His frustration and exhaustion with her constant accusations has reached its peak. Repeatedly, He’s said to her, “I might as well cheat because no matter what I do or say, you will never trust me.” Mona’s insecurities had been a problem from the very beginning, and now Eric no longer wants to be in the marriage.

He had been emotionally unavailable while they dated, and Mona spent most of that time trying to pull a reaction out of him. A smidge better at communicating his feelings the last few years, he was trying to be better because he loved Mona and wanted their marriage to work. He even started to give her cards on special occasions, but he felt that nothing he did was ever enough. Eric was very handsome and constant glaring from other women continued to cause problems in the marriage. Even so, Mona is adamant to make it work. She refuses to cooperate with the divorce.

Emotional unavailability and insecurities are just a few of the issues that we often allow to go unresolved in our minds and hearts. We will bring these heavies into our significant relationships where they will ultimately wreak havoc for both people. For a person that is determined to preserve their well-being and partner well, these things are red flags. When we’re paying attention, they warn us about impending danger ahead.

Ephesians 4:22-23(NLT) tells us, “22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God–truly righteous and holy.” When it becomes apparent to us that our behavior is causing our partner to be unhappy, we are to do what our Heavenly Father tells us in Ephesians 4:22-23. Looking within ourselves and being careful not to levy blame on the significant person in our lives is very important. It’s our responsibility to throw off the aspect of our thoughts and behavior that is causing pain for them and for us. The way that we do this is to change the way we think by reading God’s Word and lining up our thought with what He says is right. We must also pray to Him often in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, and we must take the necessary step to follow his example of love in a greater way.

Your destiny in Christ is to have a more than abundant life that is filled with God’s blessings. He will back every step that we take to change from hurt and pain to love and light. He tells us in 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT), “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” We are His children of the light, and He expects that His love, peace, joy, and kindness will saturate our hearts as we cling to the example of Christ. In Matthew 6:33(NLT), Jesus teaches, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This is God’s promise, and His way works best. When we humble ourselves and seek His help and seek Him as our Source and Creator, He will guide and keep us on the path of His blessings.

Spiritually, Mona missed the red flags of her own heart. She didn’t pay attention to her relationship with God and wasn’t concerned with pleasing Him. Instead, she was consumed with fear, obsession, and anxiety about Eric. She didn’t allow herself to enjoy their union for fear of losing it. As God’s children, we don’t have to wait until we’re at the point of losing a precious relationship to pay attention to those internal signals of impending danger. Anxiety, phobias, and anger often lead us down a path of regret. The best choice is always one of praying, seeking, and pleasing God. Proverbs 22:4 tells us that the reward of true humility and reverence for God is riches, honor, and long life! Give yourself the gift of humbling and honoring our Heavenly Father. He’s worthy of our praise and will reward us with unity in our marriages that is pleasing to Him and fulfilling for us as well. ■

How Do I Make a Man Love Me?

Posted on May 6, 2024 by daaorg1214

The minds of many women are occupied with the question, “How do I make a man love me?” We want to know how to make him light up when we walk into a room, and we want him to absolutely adore us. We desire the ultimate commitment from a man, and we want him to make us feel secure in his love and devotion. It’s the real love that we’re after. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, we want him to be oozing over with a Christ-like manhood. When we’re sad, he will do anything within his power to make that sadness go away. When we’re working on a project, he’s all-hands-on-deck. We never have to beg him to spend time with us because he makes us feel that being in our company is the highlight of his day. He’s loyal to the end, and this is the man we want to love us. We want him prepared and prepackaged with the capacity to return the quality of love that we give him.

Facts

I went to college with women that had been pumped and primed by their mothers to marry a college man of a certain breeding. They were told what to do and what not to do, and many of them followed the rules to a tee. Their studies were second to landing the right man and securing a wedding date and marriage soon after college. Growing up, all of us probably learned some portion of a formula-based thinking about how to get a man. It might have been primarily focused on the man’s physical desires. We were told to do this or do that to secure his affection. The reality that no one schooled us about is this; the way you begin a relationship molds the quality of it. So, if it isn’t beginning with the love of God in our hearts, and we don’t renew our minds to His Word and fill our hearts with His love, that relationship has nowhere to go but down.

It’s a fact that objectifying men based on preconceived notions of who they are and what they like is just as horrible as objectifying women. The reality is that there’s no way to hold a relationship together when physical attraction is used as a net to capture and keep someone tied to it. That’s never a successful strategy.

Marriage was sanctioned by God in the very beginning. He established it for His purpose, and we can never forget this if we desire to marry well. Through the marital union, God provides for our needs, and when Jesus Christ is the head of that union, the couple and their family unit is blessed and unified. If we take marriage out of the holy and appointed purpose that God has set, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

As women who desire to partner with a man in marriage, we are deserving of someone that is capable of giving all the love and devotion of which we, ourselves, are capable of giving. This is both the mindset and the heart required for starting a solid relationship, because it sets the stage for mutual respect and unity. We can’t afford to neglect the words of Jesus Christ in Luke 12:48(NLT), “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” So, out of respect and reverence for God’s institution of marriage and its purpose, we should never expect of someone more than we have proven willing to do and give ourselves.

God has equipped us through Christ to continually exceed the love of which we think ourselves capable. We should also understand that our personal commitment to pour into our spouses, to give, share, and serve them, is also a required mind-and-heart-set for God’s daughters. We should forever be willing to give and share at or above the level we expect to receive.

The right motivation

All human beings have needs, and all human beings that are capable of intelligent thought can perceive those needs mentally, emotionally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually. So, our needs are multi-faceted. As women, we should not expect men to be any different. Primarily, we all want to be loved. We want people in our lives that love and support us. Please be clear that God created us in such a way that His love, and the desire for it, is at the root of all our needs. This is basic for all human beings, but many deny it. Although they seek elsewhere to get their needs met, only God can fill our cups and make us fulfilled in life.

1John 4:8(NLT) clarifies any misunderstandings we might have about this. It says, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” God is our Creator, and He created us by, in, with, and through His love. He made us what He is, because Genesis 1:26-27 tells us that we were made in His image. So, we are made to both seek and give love, but not just any ol’ love. We’re created to seek and give God’s love.

Most people make the mistake of trying to separate God’s love from romantic love, but that is impossible. Romantic love is only possible through God’s love. So, don’t try to separate romantic or any other kind of love from the Creator who is love and created all that we survey. As God’s people, our love for God is the right motivation no matter what we might attempt to do. When our motivation isn’t to love God and share His brand of love, but to fulfill our own personal agendas, we run into problems and the blessings we seek escape us. This is where many single women are today. They want to find someone to love them, but do not have an intimate relationship with God, the Source of all love. Because of this, they can’t see the blessing even if it is standing right in front of them.

The power of love

God is love. He demonstrated His great love for us all when He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to give his life as a sacrifice for our sins. God’s love comes to live in us when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior. The only way to have God’s love in our hearts is for Him to put it there through the new birth experience. The Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside us and gives us the desire to please God and love others. This is power, and without it, we are disappointed and defeated in our efforts.

We are incapable of making someone love us, and in truth, this is never something a child of God would have to do. 1John 4:16(NLT) tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” When God’s love is in us, we will want to please Him by loving others through Jesus Christ. Despite our differences and backgrounds, we are all created by God and programmed to love and to be drawn to love. It’s in us, and it is a very spiritual reality. Those who live in love are drawn to others who live in love as well, because God is in them.

Trying to make a man love us is like trying to fit a square peg into a round whole. It’s an unnatural thing to do. Obedience to God’s Word takes care of all our needs in life. Sometimes we forget that love is power, because God is love and all power is in His hands. You and I don’t have any power of our own. It all belongs to God. He’s demonstrated the power of His love through His Word. Because of His wonder working power, we’ve seen up-close and personal that love is the power that motivates, attracts, transforms, and changes things for the better. So, making the right man love you requires no effort from you at all. God will take care of every detail of your marital union when your heart is full of His love and your desire is to do His Will and put Him first in your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

The Winning Position

Posted on September 4, 2023 by daaorg1214

A dear friend called me up recently and was very excited to tell me about her news. A co-worker encouraged her to sign-up on a dating app, and after contemplating it for several weeks, she finally did it. Single for the last ten years, she figured she’d give it another shot. It wasn’t long before she caught the eye of someone, and they began to have conversations. She kept me posted on their progress, and I thought that he sounded like a really nice guy. They finally decided to meet in person, but to my surprise, she was very nervous and hesitant. Although his conversations were nice, she said to me, “I’m really not attracted to his profile picture.” She didn’t think he’d be her type but went to meet him on the off chance that she’d be pleasantly surprised.

These are the kinds of hit-or-miss situations that single people indulge when they do not understand the degree to which God will lead and guide them when they seek Him. Some dating apps have worked out for some singles, there’s no question about that, but as born-again believers, we need to be sure to obtain a greenlight from Heavenly Father that a dating app is the way to go.

He commands us in 2Corinthians 6:14(NLT), “14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” Our Heavenly Father does not lie. His Word is true, righteous, and holy, and His Word never fails. This scripture in 2Corinthians 6:14 has nothing to do with a person’s physical appearance; it’s not talking about looks. It’s talking about spiritual realities. It is speaking to the spiritual identity of a human being, whether they are born of God’s Spirit or if they are a child of satan and do not belong to God at all. If they do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and reject him, they are unbelievers, and God tells us not to partner with them.

1John 1:5(NLT) says, “This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all.” God is ALL light, and He desires His light and love to cover everything that we do, and this is especially true of our unions. He would not tell us not to partner with darkness and then turn around and help us to do so. He wants us to seek Him and follow His direction. If He tells us to move, then we move. If He doesn’t tell us to move, then we don’t. We stay put and remain diligent to pray, and to read and study His Word, so that we continually go higher in Christ.

God is not hard of hearing, neither is He negligent in any way. He alone is the One who establishes the path to all blessings. He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT), “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God is not slow or slack to fulfill His promises. Our responsibility as His sons and daughters is to seek Him. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Be assured that hit-or-miss is not the Father’s way. When we meet men that do not meet our expectations, the inevitability of hurting someone’s feelings is always present. Even if their egos are slightly bruised, this is an offense we have caused that will ultimately come back to us. It isn’t worth it to leave a poor witness like this.

Your life is extremely valuable to our Heavenly Father. He wants to keep you protected and safe, and He doesn’t want you taking a chance on anyone that might harm you in any way. God gave His only begotten Son as a sacrifice for our sins so that you could always be in a winning position in life. We have the victory of Jesus Christ, but we must do our part. We must be wise about the decisions and choices we make, and most importantly, we must seek God in every aspect of our existences. He tells us in James 1:5(NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” When it comes to dating and finding the person who He has ordained to walk with us through life, this is exactly what we must do. We must ask the Father and have faith that He will lead, guide, and direct us on the right path.■

Iron Sharpens Iron

Posted on May 14, 2023 by daaorg1214

Life is all about relationships. God has set up all relationships as an instrument to strengthen our relationship with Him, and as we are strengthened, comforted, and encouraged by Him, we can then bless others through Jesus Christ. We are to become established and saturated in His love for us and our love for Him. Then all our other relationships will be birthed from the overflow of our fellowship and communion with God. He tells us in Proverbs 27:17(NLT), “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” In this verse, God is letting us know the benefits and requirements of a quality friendship. Friends are supposed to help each other remain spiritually sharp so that they are prepared and seasoned for the work of God’s Kingdom.

Rubble strips are a road safety feature. They help to alert drivers when they’re inattentive to potential dangers. These strips in the road cause the vehicle to vibrate, and this makes an audible noise that is intended to wake up an individual if they fall asleep at the wheel. Well, when it comes to the life that God has called us to live in Christ, we sometimes fall asleep at the wheel as well. In other words, we allow ourselves to lose focus when it comes to our relationship with God, and this puts us in a vulnerable position. It’s just the opportunity that the devil waits for.

1Thessalonians 5:6(NLT) states, “So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded.” Our relationship with our Heavenly Father is the glue that holds our lives together. When we allow our attentiveness to slip, our minds can revert to old and negative ways of thinking, and not only this, we don’t guard our hearts as effectively as we should. A good friend will speak the truth of God’s wisdom and shake us out of this apathy and wrong thinking. They will remind us of God’s goodness and encourage us in the faith so we can wake up and snap out of unproductiveness.

The corrective wisdom and encouragement that a friend provides is not always easy to hear. Sometimes it’s strong medicine and we desperately need it. Most of us want to hear flowery words that compliment us even when we’ve not presented our best efforts, but this kind of flowery talk is seldom helpful. A true friend will speak the truth to us, and they will not heap unwarranted praise on their friends. When a friend has a habit of giving constructive criticism and genuine praise, you trust their honesty and count on it. Again, they tell the truth, and this helps to deepen trust in one another.

The psalmist prayed in Psalm 119:133(NLT), “Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by evil.” This should be the prayer of every believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. God’s Word orders our steps according to His Will for our lives. Friends can help us stay on that narrow path, and it’s not necessary for them to be contentious or harsh in any way. As good friends to one another, it’s our privilege and responsibility to speak the truth in love. God commands us in Ephesians 4:22(NLT) to “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” This is the Will of the Father, and we must love others this way in all our relationships. If we do, we will be a treasured friend that is spiritually sharp and eager to always please God.■

Love Knows How to Wait

Posted on April 11, 2023 by daaorg1214

I received a phone call recently from a Christian woman who’s been single for a little while. Like many of our sisters out there patiently waiting, she’s attractive, savvy, stable and witty. She’s at a point in her life where she’s expecting God to bless her with a good man any day now. The only drawback is that she finds herself being the pursuer instead of being the one pursued. Not long ago, she was introduced to someone by a friend and they decided to meet up for a bite to eat. They both agreed, “No pressure, just a casual meeting.” She was surprised by how literal he took this.

Come on now, you know how we do. Even though it was casual, sister-girl still had, “First date” on the brain. She got a little dolled up because we all want to leave the best first impression we can. Well, that wasn’t quite the approach he took. As a matter of fact, it didn’t appear as though he had put much effort into making his best impression at all. His appearance left something to be desired and his demeanor was lackluster, but after dinner she still sent him a ‘thank you—nice to meet you’ text later that evening. Days later, nothing—zilch—nada—crickets. No call, no text, not even to say hello.

She called me and asked if she should be the one to call him. My response to her, “Absolutely NOT!” It’s not about playing cat and mouse games. It’s a matter of how we truly see and value ourselves as women. There are people in your life that appreciate you, and you know this because they make you feel appreciated. Just as game recognizes game, light recognizes light. Heavenly Father wouldn’t make a presentation of a marital partner who can’t see our light and appreciate it. He tells us as much in 2Corinthians 6:14 when He says that light and darkness can’t have communion with each other.

We hear a lot of negative talk out there about how challenging it is to find a good man. Is that the truth or is it that we’ve listened to it for so long that it has blinded us to the truth? We don’t often hear about men who understand the treasure of a good woman and express it, but they are out there. And we don’t have to chase them down. That would not be a response of faith, but fear. Relationship drama is notoriously broadcasted on every form of media we can think us. We see the ugly live and in technicolor, and it has really done a number on many of us. The arrogance, meanness, and pettiness has made us so afraid of trusting one another, that we’ve convinced ourselves it’s not possible to find a man that’s a match for our level of decency and moral character. Understand that God is brilliant beyond brilliance, and intelligent beyond intelligence. If you’re alive and breathing, you can trust that another like you is near, and God has taken care of all the details of your meeting one another, but your trust in God is a must.

Amos 3:3(KJV) poses an interesting question that cuts right down to the meat of the matter. Amos was a prophet who learned what many of us have found challenging to learn in life. He asked in this verse, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” There must be agreement for us to walk with God, and there must be agreement for two individuals to walk together as partners, but most importantly, you must have agreement with yourself. Agreement is consistency, compatibility, conformity, and harmony that is based on God’s truth. Your truth is that you are God’s daughter! You carry His Holy Spirit within you, and you are loved by God to such an overwhelming degree that it will take you an eternity to explore its depths. God’s got you! He wants you to have the best way more than you could ever want it for yourself. He said in Jeremiah 29:11(ESV), “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” You must trust that every detail of your life’s fulfillment has been taken care of by Him.

Romans 8:32(NLT) declares, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” God is a God who blesses His people, but we can’t forget that as His people, we have a responsibility as well. Jesus Christ said in John 14:15 that if we love him, we will keep his commandments. Don’t get ahead of God. Instead, pray without ceasing. You don’t have to rush love, because love knows how to wait on God’s perfect timing, and you should too.

Real love is God’s love, and it doesn’t push, shove or force. Love is kind and gentle, and it comes to us as effortlessly as we give it out. We can’t make someone love us, but we can make a commitment to love God with all our hearts and live by the example of Christ. We must be as patient with ourselves as we would want our partners to be. We are learning that our love must be expressed through our faith in God, and our destiny will beautifully unfold once this practice is firmly in our grasp.■

For Best Results, Do It God’s Way

Posted on December 12, 2022 by daaorg1214

The other day, I watched some kids practicing soccer in the park. During the practice, I heard the coach instructing them to pace their breathing, so that they wouldn’t become too exhausted while running in the game. “If you want to play long and strong, breathe slowly and steadily, rather than quickly, so you don’t overwhelm your body.” He said. I thought to myself, “Wow! I’ve never thought about the importance of breathing techniques, and how they impact the body’s performance.” I figured the body would do what it does automatically, but the coach was teaching the kids to take command of their physical beings in order to sustain peak performance. That’s what a good coach does, and this is what God’s Word does for our lives as well.

There are times when we become so used to doing things the same way that we’ve always done them, that we don’t think to slow down and ask God if we’re doing them His way. Many times it’s not because we don’t care, but more so out of not being aware or not having proper instruction. We’ve heard this saying time after time, “you can’t get different results from doing the same things.” If we want different results, and that’s exactly what many of us are praying to receive, we’ve got to do things differently in certain areas of our lives.

We are incredibly blessed to have God’s perfect instruction manual on how to get our lives right. 2Peter 1:3(NLT) tells us, “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory.” We get to know the nature of God through His Word. It is through this knowledge of God that we can actually begin to put this Word on in our minds and hearts, so that we embody the example of Christ.

Psalms 91:2 (NLT) tells us, “This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” There is no way we can lose out if we put all our trust in God. If you are a person of good intention, you will want to make the most out of where you are in life. Whether it’s in your family, in a new relationship, or on your job, you want to make a positive contribution and have a positive impact; but there are so many things going on from one moment to the next, we can’t possibly handle this on our own. We need God’s help. He sees all the details. He knows all the ins and outs, and He also knows exactly how, where, and when we can be the most effective. This is one of the many reasons why we should totally depend on Him, and learn to love and live His way through His Word. It’s the best way, and it will cause us to thrive and prosper under His continual covering and care.♦

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Praying for the Right Person to Talk to

Posted on August 1, 2022 by daaorg1214

Proverbs 27:17 NLT
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

My good friend, Nina, has gone through some troubled waters. Like most of us, she’s had her fair share of the ‘not so good side’ of life. As a child, initially she grew up with both parents in the home, but not long after their divorce, she decided that her mother was too strict and overprotective. Her father, on the other hand, was laid back and allowed her the freedom she wanted. When she was 14, she decided to live with him, and that’s when the first hard lesson about choices and consequences opened her eyes.

After a year of living with her dad, Nina became pregnant. In the words of her father, at 15 she went from being “daddy’s little girl” to “a daughter that made him a grandfather”, and he wasn’t happy. His treatment of her broke her heart. He had been abusive to her mother, and for the first time she understood why her mother had been so protective of her. She didn’t want Nina to deal with what she had gone through.

The father of Nina’s baby provided no support, meanwhile her own father’s behavior became even more hurtful, and she was ashamed to tell her mother any of this. She felt like she was in prison, with no one to help her through a hopeless situation. All she could do was bottle her feelings, and this eventually turned to deep resentment towards her father and insecurity in her own decision making.

Emotionally drained and afraid of what might happen to her and her child, one night she turned to God for help. She prayed that He would send her a friend that would be a confidant, someone that would give her a “safe place” to open up and GET IT OUT!

I have been this friend to Nina, and to others as well. We can all be a compassionate listener that will not be judgmental, but kind and caring. Everyone needs someone that will sit down and listen, and most importantly someone that will pray for those that are dealing with emotional pain. Our Heavenly Father tells us in Proverbs 27:17 that friends can sharpen one another. Again, we do this by giving the encouragement of God’s Word, by lending a discreet and compassionate ear, and by praying for those we know are in need.

Tell God what you need

Philippians 4:6(NLT) says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” No matter what we’re going through or attempting to do, telling God what we need and what is on our hearts should always be our first step. He has all power in His hands, and He is both willing and able to bless us. He will direct our paths and take care of our needs, and we must trust Him with our whole hearts.

Pray for the right person

Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33 to, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This wisdom is crucial when we are dealing with a challenging situation and we don’t know what to do. Before we seek the advice of any other person, we must seek God first. We need to hear His truth, and He is the only One that knows the words that will help us move in the direction that He desires for us. We must pray that He will send someone who knows the truth. The right person will deliver a Word from the Lord that will make all the difference in our situations. It will put us on the path to be healed and to grow in Christ.

Pass it on

James 2:14(NLT) tells us, “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? 17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”

Being a blessing positions us to receive a blessing. We should always be willing to do for others what we hope someone would do for us when we are in need. 1John 4:19 reminds us that we love because the Lord first loved us. We are ambassadors for Jesus Christ, and he has commanded us to let our lights shine in this dark world so that others may see his love in us. When you pray and ask the Father to help you and to send you a compassionate listener and Godly friend, also pray that He will help you to become one yourself. Pray that you can one day help someone to get it out and let go of their pain. None of us are perfect, but we are being perfected in Christ. All we ever need to do is to make ourselves available to God to be a blessing, He will do the rest! ■

LOVE is a Decision

Posted on July 11, 2022 by daaorg1214

1John 4:7-11(NLT)
“7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

Do you believe God loves you? Do you feel His love for you in your heart, or are you not too sure about this? There are lots of people in our lives, and most of us interact with them almost every day. Whether its family, friends, coworkers, colleagues, or pets, many of us allow ourselves to care for others and this feels very natural to us, sometimes we do it without giving it much thought. The truth is that the only reason any of us can love others is because God has made it possible through His love for us. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is LOVE!

We are able to feel the emotions of love and put it into practice through our feelings, sharing, and kindness because God created us this way. He wove His love into us, and if we choose to, we can love everyone. But here is the truth that we all must accept; love is a choice. It is a decision that we each must make. As it relates to romantic relationships, there’s a saying that people can’t help who they love. This saying or sentiment sounds very dreamy, and many of us buy into it. We long to be swept off our feet by someone that pulls these emotions from us. Although this attraction can come with very strong urges for both people, these feelings are not uncontrollable. We very definitely can and should control them.

How do we know that we can and should control these emotions? We know it because 2Timothy 1:7(NLT) tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” Self-discipline is required for a successful life in Christ, especially when it comes to our emotions. Romantic love is a beautiful aspect of God’s love, but we must never forget that it is birthed out of our relationship with Him. It comes from HIS love. His desire is that we love like Him. Loving through Christ should be our primary concern, and it is always and forever the goal.

Romantic love is composed of affections that are carved out of physical attraction. Our flesh is very much engaged, and we place all kinds of limitations and restrictions on this kind of love. We don’t just love anyone or everyone romantically. There are all kinds of conditions that we set ourselves. Most of these have nothing to do with the way God loves us, they are based on our five senses. The person has to look or act a certain way, have a certain amount of money, or have a certain profession or job. We allow ourselves to love someone romantically based on criteria like these, and whether or not our senses are heightened or stimulated.

God’s love isn’t concerned with those conditions. He loves without discrimination. 1John 4:9-10(NLT) declares, “He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to be a sin offering for the entire world. He did this when we were at our absolute worst. By this, we clearly know that God’s love is unconditional and without limits. He loves us through and through, and He is fully committed to love us continually. He goes on to tell us that since He’s demonstrated His overwhelming love for us through Christ, we must then love one another with this same unconditional, limitless love.

Because of God’s love, we can love others. We didn’t come up with love, and we don’t define what love is or how it operates. God has done this. We are to love through Him. Emotions and feelings are only a small part of it. Love is so much more than emotions. It’s a commitment and it’s also a decision. And God’s love will take us beyond our comfort zones. It will stretch us to express love through faith and not through any conditions or circumstances that we might bring to the table.

The confidence to love through the love of Jesus Christ takes fear out of the equation. 1John 4:18(NKJV) says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” Making the decision to love includes the little things that we do for one another, even when we don’t feel especially loving. It is more about your choice to demonstrate love than about having a motivation to receive love. God takes care of our needs, so He will always have our backs when it comes to what we do or don’t deserve. Our responsibility as His children is to not get entangled with how a person looks, how they dress, or how much they love us back. We are to do as 1Peter 3:8-9(NLT) instructs, “8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.”

God is looking for our commitment to love through the love of Christ. This is what He wants to see in our hearts, because learning to love through the example of Jesus Christ is the only way to be prepared for marriage or to be prepared for anything else in life. We love God by being obedient to His Word. Our Heavenly Father has given us this capacity, and it begins when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior. Colossians 2:10 tells us that it is because of our union with Jesus Christ that we are complete. If we are committed to him and his example in the way God requires, we will have all that we need to walk in God’s love and love others the way He has commanded us to.■

He Had Two Families and She Didn’t Know It

Posted on May 8, 2022 by daaorg1214

How does a woman with four children, all under the age of 12, find herself abandoned after 13 years of marriage by a man that has another family, and she knew nothing about it? Were there signs that she missed? Was she so busy with everyday life and the kids that she ignored what was happening in her marriage? Or could it be that she was so consumed with taking care of everyone else that it never dawned on her to take care of her own needs? Did she nurture her connection to God through the Lord Jesus Christ, or did she prioritize everything else ahead of it? It can be very challenging to hear and face, but there is always a reason behind every event, experience, and encounter in life. We don’t always know the reason, but God knows. If we are willing and ready, He’ll help to open our eyes, and we can begin to heal and restore our lives using these three very important guideposts.

God’s Kingdom and Righteousness
Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This is a piece of truth that is meant to ground us completely and thoroughly. It tells us definitively what we should place in the number one spot of every aspect and experience of our lives. God and the things of His Kingdom can never be number two. As a matter of course, every living and thinking being prioritizes. It’s something we humans do, and we prioritize beginning with what is most important to us. If at any time, we allow God and the things of His Kingdom to slip below first place, and we make other things more important to us than our relationship with Him, we will be in big trouble. We will see the opposite of what Jesus Christ has stated in Matthew 6:33. This means that instead of ‘all these things’ being added to us, they will be subtracted from us.

Our marriages and significant relationships are often attacked by the enemy, because he hates God’s institutions, and the devil vehemently comes against unity. 1Corinthians 14:33 lets us know straightforwardly that God isn’t the author of confusion. Confusion and chaos belong to the devil, so when we are severely attacked and emotionally distraught, we know who to blame, but we cannot stop there. If we do, we might miss the elevation and promotion God has for us. We must have the courage to look under the hood, so we more confidently put on the weapons of spiritual warfare and therefore will not continue to be outsmarted by the devil.

Forgiveness, not condemnation
None of us are perfect. We make mistakes, and some of those mistakes are doozies. We make these mistakes sometimes because we’ve been lured into a trap. God warns us in 1Peter 5:8(NLT), “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” Just as angels see what we’re doing, demonic spirits do as well. Angels protect us according to our faith, and demons are dispatched by the enemy to identify our sin and weaknesses; they are looking for a legal way to cause chaos and confusion in our lives, because they cannot do it illegally. Our mis-prioritization of not seeking God’s Kingdom and Righteousness first, as well as any other sin we commit, gives the devil and his cohorts the legal opportunity to interrupt God’s agenda for our lives.

We are the ones to open the door. Sometimes we do it unconsciously or out of ignorance, but our failure to seek God and His Will preeminently is just the opening the devil is looking for. Heavenly Father does not want us wallowing in self-condemnation, blaming ourselves, and putting ourselves down for being blind. Romans 8:1 tells us that Jesus Christ has done away with that condemning business for those who walk after the Spirit. Through his sacrifice on the cross, he cancelled out all the charges the devil could bring against the believer. So, we shouldn’t want to minimize in any way the work of the cross. Condemnation is a tactic of the devil to keep the believer down. TRUTH will always lift us up and open our eyes to the light of Christ.

Causing emotional distress is an evil plot to keep us licking our wounds so we will not know and seek the deliverance God offers. In the case of our significant relationships, many of us get caught up in bitterness and resentment, blaming the other person for the tremendous hurt they’ve caused. We get angry and sometimes this anger turns to rage. The bitterness, resentment, anger, and rage we feel didn’t just suddenly show up on the scene. Even before the husband’s infidelity was exposed, those feelings were in us. But because the infidelity is out in the open, we can see our patterns of behavior. We can now lay bare before Heavenly Father, which is what He requires. We must seek His forgiveness for any sin we’ve committed and place our focus on our relationship with Him.

Jesus Christ is your hope
When there’s an issue in our families that critically impacts us and our children, we might feel helpless and hopeless. But we must remember that feelings and emotions cannot hold a place of governing authority in our lives. Only Jesus Christ can hold this position. He opened the door to the throne of God’s unyielding grace, love, and mercy. Our responsibility is to walk through that door, so that we might obtain God’s favor and mercy, especially in the time when we need it most. Our emotions and feelings will tell us to come apart at the seams, but Jesus Christ tells us to put our trust in God, and do not lean on our own understanding.

1Peter 1:3-4(NIV) tells us, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you…” Praise opens the door to deliverance! We should praise God with all that is within us for what He accomplished for us through Jesus Christ! Most of us haven’t understood the resurrection and all that was done through it. Because of what our Redeemer has done, God reconnected us to the brilliance of His purpose. This purpose is that we have His Spirit actually living inside of us. You cannot engage your victory in all the fullness of what God meant your life to be, unless you come out of emotional enslavement and begin to walk in the liberty of Christ. Your origin is not earth, it’s heaven, and in order to access its resources, you must grasp your completeness through Christ. He is the way! He is your hope, and he cannot fail.

If someone fails to honor who you are, never allow it to define your identity. That man may have another family and you didn’t know it, but now that you do, refuse to be defined by the trick the enemy has played. Open your eyes, pray often, and let the Lord lead you to the victory and treasures that He desires to give you.■

Domestic Abuse Awareness.Org

Breaking the chains of domestic abuse through the power of Jesus Christ.

Category Archives: Relationships