You Can’t Fake Self-Esteem

Posted on December 4, 2018 by daaorg1214

I once heard a very prominent person say that feeling good is everything. At the time it came across my ears, I truly felt it was one of the most striking statements I’d ever heard. I felt this way because I had spent a good deal of my life feeling bad, and I never looked upon the notion of feeling good as a right. It also occurred to me that I had not viewed it as a possibility. Years ago, I wasn’t enlightened enough to say that I had low self-esteem. I knew that I wanted others to like me and respond to me positively. I thought the way to accomplish this was to minimize myself in a way that made others comfortable and less likely to criticize me. As the years progressed, it became apparent that my desire to make others comfortable around me was making me uncomfortable in my own skin. That had to change.

Low self-esteem is generally characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. As the prevalence of self-awareness has grown, the term has become very widely used. It’s a sad predicament when the symptoms of low self-esteem—feeling unlovable, incompetent, and less-than—are so common that millions of us have diagnosed ourselves with it. We accept ‘feeling bad’ as part of the human experience, but when it becomes a way of life, there is a real danger. We make ‘feeling bad’ part of our identities, and we do this because we don’t believe there’s a viable alternative. For some people, treatment is necessary and feeling better has to come from a prescription, but this isn’t true for everyone.

For some of us, feeling bad is rooted in feeding our souls the wrong food, and we’d rather fake it than accept this truth. But no matter how you try to fake it, feeling crummy at such a deep level effects your core. Those feelings camp-out and make themselves comfortable when we believe the wrong information about who we really are. God tells us in Ephesians 2:10 that we are His masterpieces, created brand new in Christ so that we can do all the good things He’s planned for us. Low self-esteem will tell us the exact opposite. This is a spiritual problem, and the fix requires spiritual surgery.

Wires get crossed by believing the wrong things, and when those wires become deeply imbedded, we don’t know how to uncross them. We run the risk of being conformed to what society says, when God tells us in Romans 12:2 to be transformed by renewing our minds to what He says about us. Only God knows us through and through. He’s our Creator, and He knows us as intimately as we can be known. The wonderful thing is that He desires us to feel good way more than we could ever desire it for ourselves. He’ll shine a light in our dark places if we’ll let Him.

An arrogant person is one who refuses wisdom, neglects the Source of it, and foolishly believes they don’t need to seek it. It is the one thing that a person with low self-esteem can never afford to be. Feeling bad about yourself is akin to feeling small—of devaluing your ability, potential, and worthiness. It is a level of feeling that is so low, we forget to look up. To look up is to look to God for what we need. In Luke 11:9(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” The Master has informed us that asking, seeking, and knocking are actions that must be persistent. They are habits required to replace repression, backwardness, and apathy.

Most people will say that low self-esteem can be turned into high self-esteem when we become confident solely in our own ability. Well, history has proven that all of us are pretty fragile, so I don’t know how far being confident only in ourselves can really take us. God tells us that He is our sufficiency and that we should place our confidence solely in Him. Philippians 4:13 says that we can do ALL things through Jesus Christ who gives us strength. He’s our Source, and if we’ll learn about him and seek him when we’re feeling bad, his love will deliver strength to our cores. He’ll plug us into God, so that our wires make sense, and feeling good will be a way of life.

You Can Be A Conduit of Healing for Others

Posted on November 13, 2018 by daaorg1214

I always thought of the town where I grew up as a little slice of heaven. Individuals that I counted on in my faith community were always there for me. I’m sure they had imperfections, but I never saw them. I have many fond memories of hayrides and festivals in the fall, and fireworks and bike rides in the summer. But behind this backdrop of loveliness were pockets of dysfunction and abuse. They were utterly astounding given the size of our small community. Growing up, I looked upon my neighbor’s daughter as an older sister. She was my ‘big sis‘. She braided my hair and taught me how to paint my nails. We got on like normal small-town girls, but there was a familiarity between us that was comforting and tragic. We were keepers of the secret. The unspoken had robbed us both. We should have used our voices to scream to the roof tops, but instead we suffered in silence like the good girls we were taught to be. The lives of my pretend big sister and I took very different turns. I went off to college and she tried to carve out a life for herself in the town where we grew up. No matter how much you love a place, sometimes you must move away to reclaim your destiny or stay on its path. Proof of this is found in God’s instruction to Abraham in Genesis 12:1-2(NLT), “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others.” Abraham lived among a close-knit community of family and friends, like many of us. These are the people who love and want the best for you, but often their words, attitudes, and behaviors make us comfortable being the person we’ve always been. This will prevent us from growing into the person God has destined us to become. There’s a saying that no matter what you’re going through, there’s always someone out there that has it worse. I think of this saying when I’m reminded of the horrible abuse my ‘big sis’ endured. I was clueless about the extent of it until I came home from college during a break one year. My old neighbors had relocated to another area in town, and the parents had been separated for quite some time, but I had always been fond of my big sister’s mother. I paid them a visit. We started to talk about faith, and out of the blue, sis became very angry. She accused her mother of being a hypocrite. She said, “How can you call yourself a Christian when you knew what Dad was doing to me all along.” Her father was notoriously abusive to her mother, and many people were fearful of him because he looked as mean as we all thought he was. Her mother was constantly in the hospital or doctor’s office with broken bones and bruises. Sis grew up way before her time and took care of her mother and four brothers. She had no real childhood to speak of. Only God knows if her mother knew about what she alleged was going on and did nothing, but I know firsthand that when pain is severe, it can blind us to the truth. We can become so consumed with licking our own wounds that we can’t see the wounds of others, even our own children. For many years, her soul was screaming, but no one heard my sister’s voice. As an adult, she would not reach out for help, and her mental health declined very rapidly after our last meeting. She never recovered to the point of having meaningful dialogue. 1Corinthians 6:19(NLT) says, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The Holy Spirit quickens us. This means that when we receive the gift of Holy Spirit through the Lord Jesus Christ, we become alive to Heavenly Father, because our connection to Him is restored. The more we grow in Christ, the more heightened our awareness and sensitivity mirrors that of our precious Lord and Savior. We see and feel things we haven’t seen and felt before. Not only do we have greater empathy for people’s pain, but the Holy Spirit will help us aid and pray for them. We all have people in our lives that look just fine but are in great distress. They desperately need us, if for nothing else, to pray for them. In Matthew 25:45 (NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.” As God’s beloved sons and daughters, we need to wake up before it’s too late. Our destiny is to be whole and complete in Christ. We can’t do this work on our own. The Holy Spirit will help us, and we have a responsibility to let God heal our pain. Invite the Spirit to do the work in you that God wants, so that you can become spiritually strong, and prayerfully one day, you can be a conduit of healing for others. Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. “You Can Be A Conduit of Healing for Others” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Kick Ambiguity to the Curb!

Posted on October 23, 2018 by daaorg1214

Growing up, the elders in my community would rarely commit to the success of anything before its completion, and even then, they were careful not to let the slightest hint of arrogance interfere with their assumptions. They would only speculate about their ability to be victorious over any challenge or task by making the statement “If it be God’s Will”. They had tremendous reverence for God’s omnipotence, and from them I, too, learned to honor His Will; but as I got older, I realized there was a pivotal piece of knowledge that I had missed. Because of this, I looked at everything from the perspective of disappointment waiting to happen, and not success.

This was especially the case with romantic relationships. My tactic was to try to overwhelm the throne of God with my sobbing pleas, asking for tons of assurances that the person I was with was indeed the ‘one’. I’d be terrified that he would do something to hurt me the way others had done, or that I would do something to mess things up. In my erroneous thinking, God was pulling all the strings, and could cause, if He so chose, the person to respect, neglect, or mishandle my heart. So I begged Heavenly Father constantly to please let everything work out the way I wanted…‘this time.’

I didn’t understand that God never violates His Word. So, my approach was not one of believing the right things about what God wanted for me. Even though I thought I was headed in the right direction, what I believed wasn’t the truth. I believed what I had been taught, and it wasn’t yielding the results I wanted for myself. God was not orchestrating the details of my demise. He was not trying to teach me a lesson by punishing me, nor would He alter someone’s mind or heart to make them love me. God offers liberty, but I was so accustomed to living in fear that it was difficult for me to see it.

The lessons I learned as a youth were very beneficial on one side. I was correctly taught to honor God’s sovereignty and holiness because He is all good, all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. But many of those who taught me believed Him to also be a punishing God, waiting to really give it to you if you did something wrong. They believed that you could never know what He wanted, that you could never know in advance whether His Will would provide for your success or failure. It was a dance of reverence and ambiguity that ultimately left me confused about what God desires for our lives.

I asked the Lord Jesus Christ to straighten me out, and as he did, I became a lover of faith! He taught me that fear doesn’t ask much of us, and we’re very comfortable with it, but in order to walk by faith, fear must be released. Ephesians 4:22 tells us to put off the former conversations we had with our old selves. You know, those chitchats we had with our souls about not being—looking—loving good enough; and don’t forget those feelings we had that made us wonder whether God truly loves us and wants the best for us. All of that stuff has to go. It doesn’t create a cozy place for faith to feel at home, and God isn’t pleased with that.

James 1:8 tells us that a doubled-minded person is unstable in all their ways. We can’t be wishy-washy when it comes to believing with all our hearts that God wants the absolute best for our lives. Faith requires us to kick ambiguity to the curb! 1John 1:5(NLT) declares, “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” What a magnificent truth! God is light, and He has made us children of His light through Jesus Christ, His Son! In my life, I knew darkness. I was in it long enough to know how miserable it makes you feel. I wanted God’s light and took the leap of faith to get it. This meant that I had to abandon some of the things I believed and had been taught by people I love very much. They did their best, but we all will face a point in life where we must go higher, and leave behind things, beliefs, relationships or situations that hinder our journey forward and upward.

We can’t have both faith and fear at the same time. That’s a doubleminded person, and James 1:8 says only unstable folks operate that way. 1John 4:18(NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” God’s plan is to help us to grow in love and grow in the knowledge of His Will. Approaching life as if it is an accident waiting to happen is not the mentality of someone who walks in the light. God is waiting to bless us in ways we’ve never imagined. Open the door of your heart, kick out fear, then, let God’s love drive you to the infinite possibilities His goodness holds for you.

What If No One Believes Me?

Posted on October 2, 2018 by daaorg1214

The time in which we now live is teaching us many lessons about, first, the value of truth; secondly, how the masses can interpret it, and lastly, how detrimental it can be when we don’t recognize it. Without truth, we are utterly lost, and there is no doubt about this. In John 8:31, Jesus Christ said to those listening that if they believed on him, and continued in the Word that he taught them, they were his true disciples. Their discipleship would be judged authentic and solid if they believed the Words of Christ, because Jesus Christ only spoke the truth. He then said in John 8:32(NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Knowing and acknowledging the truth ushers in freedom. This is an incredibly important piece of knowledge for any person that is afraid to speak a truth of their own.

The effects of abuse have many tentacles of pain and harm. One of them is its ability to rob a person of their voice. An individual can be articulate and well-versed in a wealth of subjects, but the trauma and violence of abuse will sometimes render its victim speechless; not for a lack of ability, but because the depth, width, and breadth of what has been stolen is inexplicable. It is inarticulable.

Shame is undoubtedly another of its tentacles. Brother Adam and Sister Eve taught us that with shame comes the instinct to hide, to cover up so that truth is never spoken, and the weight of the lie that shame tells is left to fester in our souls. There, it does its greatest harm. The weight of shame becomes heavier as time passes. Meanwhile, the one who has been silenced is split apart, one side managing to look the part of a functioning, sometimes highly functioning, individual. The other side is slowly self-destructing, The other side is slowly self-destructing, starved of the healing medicine of God’s truth and the restoration He offers us through Christ.

The fear of not being believed is the enduring curse from an evil manipulation of power. Generation after generation, this fear is often passed down. It silences our soul’s greatest cry for help, as our ownership of the basic right to be heard is undermined and paralyzed. When it comes to abuse, the ignorant and unsympathetic resolve of lesser and fallen angels has birthed a culture where lies seem to breathe, and truth is suffocated. Let’s pray the tide is turning. Let’s pray that we all rise up with the strength to move with that tide and help it along.

1John 4:18(NLT) tells us, “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” The love of God demonstrated through the life, ministry, sacrifice, and resurrection of Christ, expels ALL fear. In other words, God’s love obliterates fear! This is the liberty blockbuster, and the enemy uses every tactic to keep it from falling upon our ears. We don’t speak the truth of what we’ve been through because we fear the punishment. We’ve seen others punished, and to us the risk seems too great. Exactly the opposite is true. The greatest risk and harm to ourselves is that of not speaking our truth, of not ridding our souls of their burdens and giving our Master Jesus the load.

Our discretion and privacy can be preserved, and even honored to a degree, but not if it is surrounded in the lie that fear tells. There are individuals that cannot bear to hear the truth, because the truth is not in them. This is a quorum we must not join. Truth affords us the undeniable luxury of standing in it with unfeigned dignity, and with an absolute and unrelenting hope for liberty. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love—in love of self, and most importantly, love of God and truth. This is the way that we are released from fear’s grip and to be free to grow in the blessed existence that Christ has given us. ■

An Energy Rub

Posted on September 18, 2018 by daaorg1214

The air was thick with tension in the court building downtown, and I felt it before I got off the elevator. For some, I could tell that this incredibly nervous energy was what they were used to. Their lives were always on the line in that way, and they were seemingly immune to the waiting game, legal jargon, and haggling of attorneys. I was there to support my dear friend who was trying desperately to untangle the last vestiges of a very abusive marriage. Her husband’s attorney was unfriendly and carried an aura of ruthlessness, and her husband was there beside him; he seemed unrecognizable to me. I stepped out of the courtroom briefly, and outside of it, I observed a young woman. My eyes immediately locked with hers, and I couldn’t take them off her. I tried not to stare, but found myself compelled to do so. Attempting to be a bit more inconspicuous, I came to my senses finally, and took a seat. Something was about to play out in front of me, and my spirit knew it before I did.

There are times in life where you rub up against the energy of a person that seems to match yours precisely. It’s serendipitously eerie. It’s not a match that equals where you are in your life at that moment, but perhaps at a time when you knew less—had less wisdom, but was trying with every fiber of your being to live your truest self. I saw this in the young woman, and my heart both ached and rejoiced for her.

A young man approached her, and there it was. It was the look that I knew so well—sheer terror. Outwardly, she was beautiful, and so was he; but I immediately saw right past the exteriors. Companions of fear, immaturity, obsession, chaos, and ignorance were attached to his person. I could tell they had been with him for quite some time. So much so that he no longer felt the pain of them clawing his soul unmercifully. He couldn’t see them, but finally she could, and was trying to get as far from them as possible. A restraining order had been the required method of her survival.

I ached for her because behind her beauty I saw battle wounds and extreme sadness. Like me at one time, she was in the throes of survival’s most crucial and uncomfortable phase. It is often necessary to go through it before confidence in God’s delivering power is fully entrenched in our hearts. It’s when the pull of going back to what you know is the strongest, and you have to fight hard for your life.

But I also saw hope in her. Romans 12:12(NLT) tells us, “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” No matter who you are, you can’t rejoice in something unless you’re confident that good is on the horizon. The mere fact that she was in that court building, fighting to let her light shine, speaks to the reality that darkness was being dispelled. Jesus Christ is our hope, because he loves us, and he IS the light! Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can do everything through him, because He gives us strength. By ourselves, we can’t accomplish much, but through faith in him, we can see the pitiful weakness of darkness, and refuse it.

The trouble that God’s Word talks about in Romans 12:12 is the fight to get to the other side. It’s being patient with ourselves even though we’re tired…even though we don’t feel strong enough, and we’re scared of what the other side might look like. Christ will be our rest. He is our refuge, and he’ll be our strength so that we have the courage to make it through.

I walked away that day knowing I had been strategically positioned to pray for her continued strength. It reinforced my belief that our tribulations leave a trace of victory for someone else. Our troubles can deepen our reservoir of compassion and insight, so that we pray well for them. A brief energy rub that day with this young woman was a reminder of how far God has brought me, how He has empowered me through the Holy Spirit to stand in courage and fight for my life. He gave me the strength of Jesus Christ when I had no strength of my own, and He’ll do the same for you!■

The Biggest Cause of Emptiness

Posted on September 11, 2018 by daaorg1214

No one needs to tell me what it feels like to have a big hole in your soul. I have some personal experience with this, and I can’t think of anything more miserable. I was very young when I started to feel it, and as I got older, of course the hole seemed to get larger. I had an appetite for something I couldn’t name, and like many people, I started to look for love in all the wrong places. I wish someone had told me that growing up in an environment where domestic violence was common place can cause an individual to develop false beliefs about why he or she feels empty. We tend to think that it’s because we didn’t receive enough of something or that our lives are unfulfilling and boring as heck. Unfortunately, many people who feel this way try to address the symptoms and not the cause.

I walked around with this dark cloud until my mid-twenties. Then one day, I decided I had to put a stop to the way I was feeling, because I was becoming increasingly angry and disillusioned about my life. I was sick of that cloud, and I grew determined to help myself, because I really believed it when I learned that Jesus Christ suffered miserably so that we wouldn’t have to.

I don’t think I was ever an impatient person, and believe that this is one of the things that has helped me most; because I’ve given myself time to build my relationship with God, and have allowed Him to take the lead. I also must state that I’ve never been able to stomach the ‘pie in the sky’ stuff. I could always see right through folks who were power-hungry, cultish, or fake. So my approach to understanding the Gospel of Christ has always been based on finding real answers to real problems. It didn’t hurt that I met loving Christian people who I believed genuinely cared about my well-being, and took the time to help school me about the deep things of God.

In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ instructs us to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first; when we do this, the bounty of His blessings will be ours. In my quest to fill up my empty places, the first clue that I discovered was that a spiritual transaction happens when we seek God first. Something that we need for our souls shows up.

1 John 2:11(NLT) says, “But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness.” Every spiritual person knows that what we focus on grows. For a very long time, I focused on my emptiness, and it kept growing. I was so consumed with being unhappy that darkness blinded me. The discipline of Christian love escaped me, because I thought that another person owed me something that I was without. This is the biggest cause of emptiness. It’s waiting for the hole to be filled, and letting anyone who talks a good game try to fill it.

Emptiness is caused and perpetuated by abandoning the person Heavenly Father created us to be. We are not weak. We are not empty. We are vessels meant to be continually filled with His love. 1John 4:16 tells us that God is love, and the person that dwells in love dwells in God, and God dwells within him or her. We are His children, made from His love, and made in His image. 2Corinthians 3:5 tells us that He’s our Sufficiency. We were not designed to be sufficient unto ourselves. We were created to depend on His love, and when we open our eyes to this, we’ll step out of darkness. It may take a little while to see the light shine brightly, but if we’ll put our trust in Christ, Psalm 23:3 says that he’ll restore our souls, and lead us on the path to right living. ■

The Toad Doesn’t Always Turn into a Prince

Posted on September 4, 2018 by daaorg1214

Lachelle told me that she never loved a man as much as she loved Joe. I knew Joe before she met him. He is a handsome guy, but not overly so, and I found him to be kinda’ quiet. No one would accuse him of being too friendly, but he seemed nice enough. I had always heard that he has a bit of a mean streak, but was conscious of it and tried to hide it. My sister says that you have to watch out for the quiet ones because they always have something to hide, and you wouldn’t want to be the one to find out what it is. In my view, that’s a pretty accurate description of Joe.

I was also struck by how little affection I saw them display as a couple. Normally, this is no big deal. There are plenty of compassionate and kind people that aren’t that keen on public displays of affection, but Lachelle is a notorious hugger and is one of the most affectionate persons I know. At first, I didn’t understand the changes I noticed in her, but one day it all made sense. Joe had no doubt touched something in her soul that she responded to deeply, but he was also physically abusive. She excused it away as him loving her passionately, and not being able to control it sometimes.

Like a lot of abuse victims, Lachelle tried covering the bruises with too much make-up or refusing to meet up with us because her body (and soul) was too sore from the fight the night before. After around ten times or so of witnessing the aftermath of his anger, I stopped counting the times I suspected they had been fighting. They weren’t married, and sometimes she would swear to us that she would leave the relationship for sure, but time after time Lachelle went back to Joe. It wasn’t my first time seeing this kind of obsession play out in a relationship. You want so desperately to help, but the people involved have to want help.

Sometimes, we teach ourselves to have wrong beliefs about love. Too many romantic fairytales, movies, and myths cloud our heads, and we start to believe that we’re missing something that only a prince on a white horse can give us. We wait and wait for him to come to our rescue. And even though our discernment isn’t as sharp as it should be, and we can’t tell when a real toad is just playing the role of a prince, some of us latch on Mr. Toad anyway. We do so because the proverbial toad has been playing the role long enough to spot a particular yearning in the princess, and he knows exactly how to jump on it.

In John 8:32, Jesus Christ said that the truth will set us free. This is a razor-sharp piece of yumminess that will keep God’s children on the path of their destinies, but one thing is required, and it is that we understand what it means to be free. God created us out of His love. He created us to be children of light! 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) says, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” In this verse, we can clearly see that God has made a distinct separation between light and darkness. From light, we get qualities synonymous with intelligence, liberty, confidence, love, joy, and peace. From darkness, we get the exact opposite; we get qualities that represent ignorance, bondage, fear, hate, sadness, and chaos. So, there can be no question that God’s Will for His children is that we be free, and not weighted down by bondage in any area of our lives. God’s standard for right living is one of liberty. That’s good news indeed!

1Corinthians 13:5(NLT) tells us that love “does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” If we are going to live with authenticity, with the conviction of purpose and gratitude, we can’t do it by gobbling up myths and lies about what life is and how it’s supposed to be lived. Nor do we have time to label something ‘LOVE’ when it’s not love at all, but a plot sent from hell to manipulate us out of our destinies. Those unable to acknowledge that they are being used for darkness, and not light, will operate in darkness through the wickedness of the abuse they inflict, but ultimately, they will be exposed. When they are, those that have suffered their wrath must have the courage to see them for what they are.

A prince is a gallant individual that helps you shine, and will never do anything to hinder or cause you to hide your light. This is the kind of person you deserve. An abuser is often a toad that will never transform into a prince. He can’t even rescue himself from darkness, so it would be a mistake to assume that he can help rescue you. Be rescued by the light of Christ, and be willing to wait for the prince God will bring across your path. He may not have a white horse, but he knows the light and will help to preserve it in you. ■

Hard to Breathe

Posted on August 28, 2018 by daaorg1214

When a serious relationship ends, it can cause some of the most devastating feelings of sadness. We have no choice but to confront this molasses of heartache and wade through it the best way we can. Struggling with thoughts of facing life alone deepens the pain. You remember what it was like before you were booed-up, and you don’t want to go down that lonely road again. It’s painful to totally invest your hopes for the future in a person that no longer loves you the way you need to be loved. And on top of everything else you’ve gone through, you’re confused, because you gave it your all, and can’t understand why it wasn’t enough to build the relationship you’ve always wanted.

Dealing with emotional issues is challenging, because from a very young age, a lot of us are taught to hide our pain, as if it’s something to be ashamed of. There are so many individuals that are suffering in silence because they don’t believe anyone will understand what they’re going through. For some, the hurt cuts so deeply that it’s difficult to trust there’s anyone who CAN help or offer comfort. The one thing we can’t afford to do is crawl under that rock that seems to be calling our names. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve experienced in the past, when something shakes you to your core, it presents you with an opportunity to see something within that you haven’t seen before.

Spirit isn’t just what we have, it’s who we are. We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. Genesis 2:7(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.” We experience the earth in an earth-suit that was made of dust. When our life transitions to the next, and our existence on earth is over, the earth-suit that we’ve been blessed to inhabit for a season will return to that of which it was made. It will return to dust, but 1Peter 1:23 tells us the spirit that has been born-again of incorruptible seed is eternal.

Our pain reminds us of the mortal side, the part of us that is only here on earth temporarily. When we’re cut deep, it’s also a reminder that we need to pay attention to our spirits. The born-again experience through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is the recreation of our human-spirit. Before we accepted Christ, our human-spirit was dead to God, but when we accept Jesus Christ as Lord, our human-spirit comes alive to God. Because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, 2Corinthians 5:17(NKJV) says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” In other words, our human-spirits become new creations, and the Holy Spirit comes to live inside them. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) cosigns this and tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

The Holy Spirit lives inside of our human-spirits. Our spirit and the Holy Spirit are not the same, and it’s so important for us to make this distinction. Romans 8:16(NLT) tells us, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” From the deepest place within, the Holy Spirit reminds us of who we are. Your spirit is the ‘YOU’ you will always be. It is your authentic self, and contrary to how you might feel at any given time, your spirit is always magnificent!

When we lose someone, and the pain of loss makes us feel as though it’s hard to breathe, it’s sometimes an indication that for too long we relied on oxygen from the wrong source. Real love, the kind that comes from Heavenly Father, never stops loving. It isn’t deterred because someone lacked the capability to return it. God breathed our spirits into our bodies, and we became a living person. No one can take what God has given us, UNLESS we allow it. We are our Father’s children. We are love because He is Love. This should forever be the joy of our rejoicing.

Psalm 30:5(NKJV) tells us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Give yourself a small window to feel sad, and for that brief time, feel it as much and as deeply as you can. IT IS a temporary state, one that does not come close to the joy that is before you. Grieve well for the loss of what you thought could have been. Then, turn to Jesus, your Source of light, love, and joy. You gave pain its due, Give God His. Practice patience and faith as you let the Holy Spirit heal you from within. Open your heart to God, and breathe in the joy that only His love can give. ■

Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Posted on August 21, 2018 by daaorg1214

How many times do we tell ourselves that things are going to get better? But day after day, we end up with the same set of disappointing circumstances. You think to yourself, “Hey, I may not be perfect, but I’m a pretty nice person. I treat others with kindness and try not to hurt anyone. When is my time coming? When am I going to catch a break?” I think we would be absolutely amazed to know how many people are feeling the same way. You do your best to run the race that is before you, but you’re feeling like your tank is running a little low. When it’s filled, you don’t want regular, you want high-test. You want the premium stuff. Life is short, and it’s about time for you to experience a little bit of high-octane living.

One of the most quintessential questions asked by anyone inquisitive about the way in which the universe works is “Do bad things happen to good people?” The answer to this question is a resounding “YES!” Indeed, bad things do happen to good people. But how does this square with what we’ve been taught about the moral compass of religious discipline? How does it line up with John 10:10, where Jesus Christ tells us that he came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly? If we are to access what he came to earth to provide, why is it that we can’t access it by being the good people he wants us to be?

It is baked into most people’s psyche that good people are supposed to win. There are many cases, some very public, where the appearance of this belief doesn’t seem to pan out. I don’t know about you, but I can think of many instances where folks that are compassionate, caring, supportive, and sensitive are stepped on. Their kindness is taken for weakness, and they seem to always get the raw end of the deal. It may seem this way sometimes, but God is the One with the final say, and He tells us that if we patiently endure, we will reap the reward.

In order that you and I can have a springboard from which to jumpstart a true understanding of why we’re here and more than that, how to live authentically through Christ, we must make new room in our brain cells for a reality of existence that exceeds the realm of what we call ‘good’. To be frank, according to the truth spoken by Christ in Matthew 19:17(NLT), “There is only One who is good.” And this ‘One’ is God the Father. Our good works and His goodness are nowhere in the same vicinity. As students of Christ, we are learning on earth to become more like him with each passing day, and whether our level of goodness will pass the heavenly sniff test remains to be seen. Our motives are not always pure. But despite our flaws and weaknesses, the reality is that even with our shortcomings, we are sons and daughters of God, and brothers and sisters of Christ. How we come to grips with this awesome privilege and honor, as well as the level of our gratitude for it, will measure the degree to which we live completely, fully, and wholly in the bliss of his glory.

The reality is that just being what we call ‘good’ and sincere is to not going to provide access to the kind of life we want. Something more than being a good person is required of us. After Jesus Christ was baptized by John the Baptist, he was led in the wilderness by the Holy Spirit, and there he fasted 40 days and nights. Afterwards, he was very hungry, and it’s not too much of a stretch to say that his strength was not at full capacity. It was in this very vulnerable state that our Lord and Savior was tempted by the devil.

No greater kindness, compassion, love, and humility exists than that of Jesus Christ. If there was anyone who deserved to be exempt from the darkness of evil and bad things, it was him. Yet, we find him facing this extreme evil at a very challenging time. The devil tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread, but Jesus would not acquiesce to the devil’s level. How did he face it? Matthew 4:4(NLT) tells us exactly how he handled the temptation. He said, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

God tells us in Galatians 6:9-10 that we should never get tired of performing good deeds, and we should do them as often as we have opportunity. He tells us to do good to everyone, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ, but we should be clear that our goodness and sincerity doesn’t exempt us from challenges in life. The issue isn’t what we face, but HOW we face it! We are to lean upon the strength of God. Isaiah 40:29(NLT) tells us, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” Just like our Master Jesus, we must know that true goodness is every word that comes from the mouth of God. His Word is life to us, and if we place our trust in it, He tells us that in due season we will reap a harvest of blessings.■

Bloom Where You’re Planted

Posted on July 31, 2018 by daaorg1214

The dictionary defines happiness as the state of being happy. It then goes on to list synonyms like pleasure, satisfaction, joy, delight, and contentment. The most definitive aspect of happiness is that it motivates every human being to seek it out. This gives us a clue about the value of this state of being, and how important it is to having a positive human condition. It’s true that happiness can have meanings as varied as each individual, but the commonality is found in the reality that it is indeed a journey that all of us will undertake. We all want to be happy, and it matters greatly to God how we seek it out.

Everything has a root, a beginning from where it derives its purpose and reason for existing. Our Heavenly Father created human beings with enormous capacity, and one of our most profound elements is the ability to experience joy. God is the Source of everything, and most of us understand this. We should also understand that happiness is rooted in joy; it’s not the other way around.

Joy is an inside job. There are individuals that walk into a room and light it up simply with their presence. You might find yourself envious of people like this because you think they have something you don’t. The thing that these people possess is the knowledge about the wealth that God has planted within them through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He has made it possible for us to experience a joy that is everlasting, and this produces a happiness that isn’t dependent on conditions or circumstances.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT) tells us, “22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Joy is one of the yummies that God gives us by way of Holy Spirit. This is an incredibly important truth, because many of us spend the spiritual journey of life searching for happiness in all the wrong places. Some of us try to force ourselves to be happy because we think that’s the right approach, but our Heavenly Father has clued us in on the truth. Joy is a spiritual fruit that is produced by the Holy Spirit. Looking outside of ourselves for something that can only be found within will not help us to reach our destination.

Being happy will also require us to accept another important truth. It is the reality that you and I are in the fruit producing business. Anything that does not grow will die, and in order to grow, we have to sow. Jesus Christ taught us this in Luke 6:38(NLT), where he gave us production instruction. He said, “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He’s teaching us here how to bloom where we’re planted.

Our happiness must be cultivated from within. Not only do we have the privilege and ability to sow it into the lives of others, but we can have an earnest expectation that when we do, it will be returned to us. It will be poured into our laps with the same loving, abundant heart of which we sowed. When you understand the magnitude of the gift that God has given you through Christ, and the empowerment that is attached to it, you will see yourself in a whole different light.

You don’t have to travel the world or move to a different town to change your life. Colossians 1:10(NLT) says that if we put on the knowledge of Christ in our minds and allow it to sink into our hearts, “Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” You’ve been empowered by God to bloom right where you are, so see yourself as someone who is blossoming into the fullness of all you’re destined to be. Happiness is anchored in the inner sanctum of your being! You can plant ‘happy’ seeds because through Christ the root of JOY is within you! Choose to sow seeds of happiness. Our Master guarantees they will grow!■

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Category Archives: Spiritual Encouragement