My cousin, Malaysia, is a New Yorker to her core. Born and bred there, she visited her southern relatives only during the summer months, on school vacations. It was on one of her southbound excursions that she introduced Double Dutch Jump Rope to her young cousins. My sisters and I were giddy as all get out. We couldn’t wait to show our neighborhood friends this new city-slick trick. I’m a small-town girl from the backwoods of Georgia, and I’m both humbled and honored by my roots, but we were a little slow back then when it came to being up to snuff on the latest. Cable television was virtually nonexistent (I’m dating myself), and the internet was for us an unexplored frontier. In our huge backyard, we jumped rope; played hopscotch, dodgeball, and kickball, but Double Dutch was a whole other level of fun. It took skill, and my cousin was oh so sassy with it. I had as much rhythm as she did, but those egg-beating ropes were too much for me to maneuver. I couldn’t get the swing of jumping in at the right time. Suffice it to say, I never quite got the hang of Double Dutch.

Watching the double ropes twist and turn, I was captivated by the dare to jump in and immediately synchronize my jumps with the swing of those ropes. The thing with most of us is that even after we grow into adults, we never stop wanting to jump in. Our Heavenly Father designed life to be an ever moving dynamic. It neither slows down or speeds up according to our schedules. If we lack the agility to keep up with its pace, it will pass us by; and if we try to move ahead of it, life has a way of slowing us down. And sometimes that’s not so pretty.

All of us are trying to achieve a rhythm in life that moves harmoniously with its flow. Like Double Dutch, we jump in it, not thinking for a moment about who’s actually turning those ropes. We can be easily tricked this way. In 2Samuel 22:6 (NLT), David sang a song about how God rescued him from his enemies. He said, “The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.” We can become so entangled with troublesome relationships and situations that ropes feel like chains, trapping us with such emotional turmoil that we feel powerless. We want to love and be loved, but the person turning our ropes is toxic, and we don’t know how to jump out.

Double Dutch is fun, no question about that, and those that are good at it make it look effortless. They make the dare seem well worth it, but life isn’t always easy. Even though it is often filled with fun and excitement, it can be wrought with entanglements.

My cousin did her best to teach me the ropes, but I couldn’t synchronize my moves with the pace of the person doing the turning. Many of us need to recognize when this happens in life. Whenever we are out of synch with God’s timing, peace, and love, it’s because we’ve given the wrong person the ropes; and they will most assuredly turn into chains.

We don’t have to be experts at jumping in order to master life, but it is unequivocally and resoundingly true that life requires a Master. As men and women who dare to live the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ made available, we desperately need him at the helm. Psalm 129:4 says that the Lord will cut us free from the ropes of the ungodly. He will guide us in our lives and help us keep pace with all that God has in store for us. I suppose jumping Double Dutch with chains is possible, but where’s the fun in that? It’s not the way God intends life to be lived. If we will just give Him the ropes, we can jump in synch with His love, and never have to worry about jumping out. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Trying to Jump Double Dutch with Chains” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

We live in a society that is increasingly poopooing the notion of winning a competition or being competitive. This is not going to be an opinion on whether that is an appropriate attitude, but this is most certainly a stand on the truth according to God’s Word. The gray area that everyone loves so much makes people feel comfortable, but it doesn’t cut it when it comes to living according to God’s standard. We either believe His Word and live it or we don’t. He has charged every human being with the responsibility of discerning right from wrong, light from darkness, and good from evil. Jesus Christ contrasts it best in John 10:10(NLT), where he tells us, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” Contrary to what many people would have us to believe, there is a devil; he’s Heavenly Father’s archenemy. His number one mission is to steal, kill, and destroy lives. If we don’t know how to properly discern, we might attribute the destruction that comes from the pit of hell as acts of God, and the loving kindness that comes from heaven as a plot from the devil.

When it comes to competition, there’s a level of compassion and caring in not wanting anyone to feel left out or that their efforts are substandard, but when it comes to the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ has made available, distinction and discernment is a must. God gives us a very important piece of wisdom regarding His Word. In Hebrews 4:12, He tells us that His Word is alive and active, that it’s sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel. It can divide the soul from the spirit and joints from marrow. His Word is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of our hearts. This is beyond razor sharp, and Heavenly Father has given us such a precise and on-point tool because we need it.

We need it because we have an adversary that tries on every hand to rob us of the life that God desires us to have. Heavenly Father will always dream a bigger dream for us than the one we dream for ourselves. He’s rooting for us to live the best life of which we’re capable, but it is important for us to discern the difference between the world’s definition of the best and God’s definition of the best. In many, many cases, these are two very different things.

Proverbs 14:12(NLT) tells us, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” Sometimes, we’re all over the map because we’re not clear regarding our purpose or who God wants us to be; we’re not clear about the direction to take in life. This is a vulnerability that the enemy can use against us. One of the ways he does this is by sending situations and people into our lives that look like the blessing we desire, but they aren’t. We are sometimes tricked this way because we haven’t learned to discern, or because we don’t wait for God’s green light.

Jesus Christ told us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God and His righteousness before we do anything else. Before we take that first step, we need to consult with the Father for guidance and direction. The answer from Him isn’t always on the double. Our patience and endurance to wait on the Father is absolutely essential, because He will never lead us astray. His blessings bring peace, wholeness, love, and rest for our souls. Whenever any of His yummies are missing, the light is still red.

As we sharpen the tool of discernment, we need to be patient, because God will show us what is best for our individual journeys. Romans 8:28 says that He causes all things to work together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. There’s a synchronization to our lives when our hearts are set on pleasing God and doing what He asks. Don’t make the mistake of veering off the path He’s laid before you. Ask for God’s help and wait for His green light before you act on decisions and choices. He loves you, and will direct you on the best path for your life if you’ll allow Him. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Wait on God’s Green Light” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

In any relationship, whether it’s your own emotional state or the person you’re involved with, questioning whether love or obsession is at the root is extremely important. In God’s Word, He gives us very clear information on how love behaves—what it does, and what it produces. One of the biggest mistakes we make when it comes to loving anyone is to kick humility to the curb, and think that our brand of love is all that and a bag of chips. God is our wonderful Creator. He’s all powerful, all knowing, and intelligent beyond anything that you and I can fathom. On top of all this fabulousness, 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. So, you and I can be confident that God is the definitive authority on love. Makes no sense to think that we know all the ins and outs when it comes to such an important subject, but many of us think that we do, and boy does this get us into trouble.

My grandmother would say, “There’s a right way to do things, and there’s a wrong way.”  God’s way will forever be the right way. His way allows us to maintain loving relationships that are in balance. A relationship that is in balance is one where the love we extend and receive is not masqueraded by obsession, because when this happens, we’re no longer in safe territory.

One of the most critical truths that any spiritual person can know is that everything is indeed spiritual; and when I say ‘everything’, I mean EVERYTHING! Every experience, occurrence, event, activity, person, place, or thing is spiritual. Hebrews 11:3(NLT) tells us, “By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.” God made everything, and everything that we cast our eyes upon in this universe was produced from something that we can’t see with physical eyes. God warns us in 2Corinthians 4:18 not to focus on the things that can be seen. He tells us that the things we can’t see are more real than what we can see, because the things we CAN see are temporary, and the things we can’t see last forever.

We humans like to think we’re the cat’s meow, but when it boils down to it, we’re here on this earth today and gone tomorrow. If we’re blessed, we’ll live a long life, but it can’t be lost on us that our bodies have only a temporary existence. The soul is what God is after, because through Christ, we become eternal beings. So we absolutely have to pay attention to our souls, because the soul helps us to respond to God’s Spirit.

1John 4:16(NLT) tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” This is why we have to get this love thing right. If we’re tipping over to the obsession side of things, love is no longer present. That’s because obsession is a form of fear, and fear is the aesthesis of love. The two are polar opposites, so much so that God tells us in 1John 4:18 that there is absolutely no fear in love, because love cancels out fear—just wipes it out—demolishes it. Flip the switch, and the same is true about fear. Fear cancels out love.

Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first. It’s must be our primary step before we think to do anything else. But instead of seeking God as our primary step, a whole lot of us seek the love of a person first. This is the number one sign that we’re headed for trouble. We can never look to a human being to give us what only God can give. Many of us have big, gaping holes in our souls. Either because we weren’t loved and nurtured well as kids, or we were wounded in places that haven’t yet healed. Whatever the case, we sometimes look for those holes to be filled in the wrong way and by the wrong source. The remedy is to choose God’s love by being committed to live by the example of Christ.

God has given us the ability to make choices that keep us on the right path of His love. Some of us have ferocious appetites for emotional nourishment, but we can’t let it make us dependent on harmful and parasitical relationships. As one of God’s children, you owe it to yourself not to try and feast off crumbs. You want to be able to love in a healthy way, so that you receive it in a healthy way. Get on solid footing and choose the love of God in Christ! He’s the ONE who loved you first. His love heals, restores, renews, creates, and produces good things. Choose to accept God’s love in your empty places, and let Him teach and help you steer clear of obsession. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Is It Love or Obsession?” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Sometimes we want a warm body close to us so badly that we make all kinds of excuses for the person’s bad behavior. My friend, who I’ll call Henrietta, is like this. Hen (we’ll call her that for short) has a larger than average body frame. She also has incredibly big feet for a woman whose only five feet, five inches tall. She’s always been self-conscious about her weight, and back in the day, before the beauty of a thicker frame was as accepted and celebrated as it is today, folks would say to her, “You’ve got a cute face.” All big girls know this used to be code for face—pretty, body—not so much.

Henrietta’s mother, a single parent, was not really the supportive type. She loved her daughter to pieces, but didn’t do a whole lot for Hen in the self-esteem department. Henrietta was starving for validation, and growing up, any boy that showed her attention was immediately the rescuer who was going to make all her dreams come true. She magnified the most insignificant gesture of courtesy. They used it to try and get what all teen-age boys want to get. Afterwards, they’d immediately ignore her, make fun of her behind her back and sometimes in front of her face. For some reason, she never seemed to be angry with them about how they treated her. For the longest while, nothing about her puzzled me more than this.

As a bet, one guy asked her to prom, knowing full well that he never expected to take her. Even after the disappointment of it all, she made excuses for him. One would think that after experiencing many heartbreaks, Hen would have changed her view of things. As a full-grown woman, the lens from which she views potential users has only improved a smidgen, and even that might be overstating it. The odd thing is that if one of her girlfriends steps to her the least bit shady, Hen will let them have it, but with a man who shows her a little bit of attention, it’s a completely different story.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this has absolutely nothing to do with the man, and everything to do with how Hen feels about herself. What is it that she refuses to confront? Why is her refusal so vehemently entrenched that she would rather allow herself to be relegated to second or below, than to acknowledge her pain?

Sometimes it’s easier to try and squeeze a drop of love from a spoiled low-hanging fruit than to reach for a plump delicious one at the top. The thought of the disappointment that comes from reaching and not attaining is too much for some. This is especially true for those that have experienced devastating disappointment before. A parent who abandons, a loved one who died and left us before we were old enough to adequately process the loss, a precious relationship that is irreparably damaged; these types of wounds can set us up for believing the wrong things about ourselves and the wrong things about others.

Heavenly Father knows when there are events in our childhoods that can cause us to make poor choices and bad decisions in adulthood. As children, we’re not always in a position to change course, but as adults, we’re responsible for examining our lives, and seeking God for help. He tells us in Romans 12:2 not to be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. So, you and I can make the choice to change the way we think, and thereby change the course of our lives. This truth is cosigned in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), where God tells us, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” But instead of doing this—instead of renewing their thoughts to the mind of Christ and accepting his love into their hearts, many people run from the healing they need most.

A closed heart can be nurtured by the genuine love of an open one. This is where the extraordinary love of Christ comes in. Romans 8:39 tells us that nothing separates us from his love. In Revelation 3:20(NLT) he said, “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” Jesus continually knocks at the door of our hearts. We need to let him in, and we also need to know that it only takes the tiniest opening for a miracle to happen.

God is calling us to newness. 2Corinthians 5:14(NLT) tells us, “Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.” When Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross, so were all who accept his love in their hearts. We were right there with him, dying to our old selves and being born again anew! He came to give us a life that is more than abundant, where God’s mercies are new every day!

If a person doesn’t know what the sacrifice of Jesus Christ has made available to them, they might continue to pick up broken pieces of that old worn-out life. They don’t know that as hard as they might try to put them back together again, it won’t work. God is the healer of broken hearts; as a matter of fact, that’s His specialty. Because of the issues that we’ve dealt with, for some self-sabotage is set on repeat. This is a pattern that can be changed. If we’ll ask him, the Lord Jesus Christ will help us walk in our new life, and we can learn to leave the broken pieces of the past behind us. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Broken Pieces of that Old Worn-Out Life” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

I was never a fan of the dark. Accustomed to being awakened to horrific surprises, having to jump to my feet in fight or flight mode, as a child I grew to dread nighttime hours. Now, as an adult, sleep doesn’t come as easily as it might for some, and it can be frustrating. I can count on one hand the nights that I’ve awakened in the morning with a sense of deep rest from the night before. I sleep much more peaceably during daylight hours. This doesn’t interfere with the quality of life I now have, but it is most certainly a residual. It’s a leftover from the fear I lived with due to domestic violence during child and adolescent years.

As I matured into an adult, I was headed down a path very similar to the one I had always known; I chose boyfriends that were abusive. Fighting was something I was used to, and fighting back was becoming a pattern as well.

I was broken inside, but couldn’t call it brokenness, because I hadn’t heard anyone else call it that. What I saw and heard was this notion of protecting the secret. I did not even feel worthy enough to weep aloud. It wasn’t until I was married with children of my own that I actually gave myself permission to hear my own sobs, to mourn the childhood I should have had, and to moan if I felt I needed to.

2Corinthians 3:17(NLT) declares, “For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” I thank God to be free from the secret, and to speak my truth unashamedly. It is indeed cathartic, but lest I overreach into that bowl of selfishness, I must share the method of my release, and not just herald the release itself.

Jesus Christ extended an invitation to us all in Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), “28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”  I had heard this passage many times in church, but I didn’t allow the overwhelming love he offered to connect with my need. I remember the feeling of utter hopelessness I had when I was almost seventeen. I made a split-second decision one night to lay it all on the line. It was my final hope, and I gave it all, every burden, over to Jesus Christ.

Something very real happened to me internally when I asked Christ to come into my life.  I knew I was changed, and things started to get a little better for me, but still, I wanted more evidence. I was very self-reliant as a teen, because in certain areas I had to be, but insecurities had made me appear clumsy and odd at times in front of my peers. I was ridiculed, became comfortable with disappointment, and expected it often.

My young shoulders were heavy with problems at home and school. The responsibilities I had were not those of a normal teen. I cooked, cleaned, and cared for my siblings, and was expected to do so at a level that rivaled any mature adult. I also very much wanted to go to college, and that included worries and fears that most my age would not have considered, or would have had to. It seemed an impossible reality, with everything stacked against me, but I decided that I’d let Christ handle the whole thing.

I didn’t know nearly as much as I know now about operating by faith, but I knew enough to wrestle doubt every time it came to the surface. With every contrary thought of worry and anxiety, I arrested it in my mind with, “Nope! Not my worry. I gave it all to Jesus.” This affirmation became a habit pattern. It was a different kind of fight. I knew what a physical blow felt like. I knew what it was to be pushed to the floor so hard that you didn’t have time to process it; you just got back up for another round. But this ‘mind’ thing broke new ground for me. I could feel the wheels of power churning, not my wheels, but the Lord’s. A different kind of rest was opening up, and I had peace for the first time. Things worked out. Not the way I thought they would, but in a way that was divine and purposeful to my entire life’s journey.

I don’t know how I lost this pattern of faith the Lord had taught me, but I did. Child-like humility took a back seat to adult arrogance, and I thought I could handle everything all on my own. So later, when I was in my twenties, I finished college and made a near mess of my life. I was sitting alone one morning, having been up all night despondently waiting for the other shoe to drop. Suddenly, a memory shot across my mind’s eye like a shooting star. I didn’t recognize it as the everlasting hope it represented, but that’s exactly what it was. I had been in a miserable place before, and I was there again. I knew I couldn’t remain in that place much longer without losing myself altogether. I reached out to the Lord Jesus Christ; and again, he rescued me.

Well, here I am, still clumsy at times, and still struggling to get a good night’s sleep, but I claim and have held for some time now a peace that passes all understanding. 2Corinthians 5:7 tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. We don’t have to see where we’re going, and faith does not come with a seatbelt; it doesn’t need one. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is in the driver’s seat. As we release our hands from the wheel, and let ourselves fall completely into his care, he will keep us in his perfect peace.■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Faith Does Not Come with a Seatbelt” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Some years ago, I met Tabitha. She is accomplished and seasoned both in her profession and years, and found herself dealing with a troubling situation. In her late forties, she divorced an ailing husband to be with a much younger man. Her grown children and girlfriends believed it to be an incredibly selfish thing to do. She married her first husband right out of college. They raised a family together, settled into their careers, and acquired some degree of wealth and status as a couple. No one who knew them would ever have suspected that Tabitha would not be the devoted wife and stick with her husband through his illness, but she made the choice to leave him. It was a very difficult time in her family’s lives, but this was not nearly as troublesome as what she faced some years later.

Tabitha had a close-knit group of girlfriends that were equally as family-oriented as she was once thought to be. It’s not hard to imagine that they viewed her actions as self-sabotaging. By most folk’s standards, she was living a very stable life, but she was not fulfilled and hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. The new man she became involved with was 17 years her junior. He was exciting, impetuous, and very handsome. It felt to her that he had awaken things in her soul she had never experienced. She told me her love for him was so strong that she didn’t have a choice; being with him was something she felt she had to do–almost like breathing.

Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) tells us, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” This verse is a heavy hitter. We hear it quite often, and sometimes, when verses and passages are very popular, we become too comfortable with them. Instead of digesting the heft of what the Lord is presenting to us, we allow the truth to swirl around our ears without landing firmly in our hearts. Our Heavenly Father, the Creator of all there is, has given us an order of importance for wisdom. It’s way up there on the scale. It’s the principal thing according to God’s book.

God wants us to be wise about our choices, and this means that we should seek to obtain a certain level of understanding about the impact of them. You and I don’t know the future, but God does, and it is uber important that we remain in control of our emotions and seek His direction. 2Timothy 1:7 (NLT) declares, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” These are the spirits that come from God; power, love, and self-discipline. Being out-of-control in any respect is a sure sign that the wrong spirit, one that isn’t from God, is calling the shots.

Whenever we’re at a place in life where we’re allowing our emotions and feelings to control our actions and rule over us, when we make decisions without consulting our higher self in Christ; the end result can be devastating. Tabitha and her new husband were happy for a few years, but he hid an addiction from her for most of this time. She was beyond regretful about her choices, and looking back on her situation, she said it was like someone had blindfolded her mind.

The Book of Job in the Old Testament tells us the record of the extremely harsh tribulation that Job endured. The devil pounced on him terribly, and cursed him with many afflictions. Before any of it took place, Job 1:7(NLT) tells us that God asked satan a question, “Where have you come from?” the LORD asked Satan. Satan answered the LORD, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.” This is what the devil does. Jesus Christ told us in John 10:10 that the devil is a thief whose only mission is to steal, kill, and destroy. The enemy patrols the earth, and do you know why he does this? He’s looking for an opportunity to steal from us, to rob us of joy and to cancel the awesome destiny that God has for us.

When we hear the Word, but don’t heed it, the enemy takes notice.  These are exactly the opportunities he looks for. Our neglect of God’s Word is our neglect of wisdom, and this becomes the tool the devil uses to rob our lives. We can so clearly see why God has informed us that the wisdom of His Word is the principal thing. God wants to help us become spiritually sharp and aware. If we will learn more about Him, our trust in His Word will grow, then we can better guard our hearts and walk in wisdom. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Walk in Wisdom” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Many of us wake up, proceed with our morning rituals and routines, and carryon with the day. We get into a groove in our lives, and it can become so habit forming that sometimes we don’t recognize we’re neglecting our souls. When we bring this neglect into a new relationship, things can go sour pretty quickly. Love has a starting point, and we need to give it as firm a foundation as we possibly can. Ultimately, the love we put out there is the love that will come back to us, so if we’re neglecting the very core of our existence, what does this say about the caliber of love we’re able to give?

Self-love is not separate from the love of Christ. Society would like us to believe that the two are separate, that love of self is about practices that indulge and promote selfish thinking; not so. Jesus Christ said in John 15:12 (NLT), “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” It’s a tall order for sure. Jesus Christ loved us so much that he gave his life for us, and he did it when we were incredibly cruel and uncaring; many of us still are. He commanded us to love each other with a love that measures up to the same caliber of his love. Jesus knows our capability, and he would not have given us a commandment of which we’re incapable of fulfilling.

The highest form of self-love is to love God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength, because when we do this, He will help us to love others unconditionally, and to thereby love ourselves in the most fortifying and fulfilling way. Colossians 3:14(NLT) tells us, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” If we begin our new relationships with the intention of clothing them in the love of Christ, something spiritual happens. We have an opportunity to plant a seed of unity that binds them together in perfect harmony.

A word of caution, you don’t want to sow your seeds on ground that will not yield a good harvest. This is a futile exercise. It causes us to lose valuable resources of stamina, momentum, and time on this Christian journey of life. We can regain stamina and momentum, but time is lost forever. So we need to exercise caution, caring, and concern, not just for ourselves, but for the destiny and journey of the other person as well.

God is our everything, and making sure we’re not trying to make a person our everything will give our relationships a solid footing. We must remember always that love gets its start from God. 1John 4:19 tells us that we love because He first loved us. He showed us the way to love. It’s logical, reasonable, and intellectually prudent to let Him increase our heart-space and teach us His most valuable trade-secrets. Wrapping our relationships in His unconditional love will secure His plan for not only our lives, but the life of the person we’ve chosen.

We can dedicate our new relationships to God by introducing newness into our daily routines. We do this by incorporating intentional spiritual practices to cover our relationships in the love of Christ each day. This means we must trim off any selfish motives, commit ourselves to pray daily for the person we’re involved with, and be willing to learn something new about God and His love from His Word. This will help us continue to spiritually grow in Christ, and to maintain harmony in our relationships by always putting God first. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“Dedicating Your New Relationship to God” written by Fran, edited by PMB for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Jordan was not the man Lisa thought she had married. When they first met, she was taken with his spontaneity and good looks. He had a kind of boy-next-door humility and charm that reminded her of her high-school sweetheart. Jordan is a personal trainer, and she met him at the gym where she works out. They dated almost a year before he popped the question, and they got married soon after. Before she met Jordan, Lisa was successful professionally, but unhappy. She had a close-knit group of girlfriends and a very supportive family who constantly consoled and encouraged her. She desperately wanted to be married. Having a family and being a mother and a wife was all she had ever dreamed about, but none of her relationships lasted, and she went through extreme bouts of sadness because of the loneliness.

Lisa was very busy at work one day when Jordan phoned. She told him she didn’t have time to talk, and would call him back. She had no idea that something this simple would cause the barrage of questions she faced when she got home. She just kept thinking that it came out of nowhere, and she couldn’t understand what had gotten into Jordan. In the coming months, it got worse. At first, she overlooked his jealous tendencies, and was a little flattered by them. After a while, he started accusing her of all kinds of things, and her life began to feel like a prison.

Jesus Christ taught us in John 10:10 (NKJV), “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”  An abundant life is a life that is filled with love, peace, joy, wholeness, and all the other wonderful blessings that God has made available through Christ. This isn’t just for people who dot all their ‘i’s and cross all their ‘t’s. John 3:16 says that God loved the entire world so much that He gave His only begotten Son as a sacrifice. The sacrifice of Christ was needed because humans chose to turn their backs on God and to live in darkness. So when we were at our worse, Christ came to die for us. This is how much the Father loves and cares for us all.

God wants every person to live the greatest life of which they are capable. He wants us to be happy, and not only does He want us to be happy, He’s given us the spiritual accoutrement to acquire the kind of life we desire. Contrary to what many people believe, the devil is real. It is impossible for God to tell a lie, and His Word is true. Heavenly Father has an archenemy, and he is the thief that Jesus Christ talked about in John 10:10. The thief is the devil, and he doesn’t want us to be happy. One of the major ways that the devil destroys our happiness is to keep us blind to his tricks.

God tells us in 1 Peter 5:8 (NKJV), “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” We need to be alert and aware because the devil looks for an opening to come into our lives, and for many women, loneliness and desperation presents just the opportunity he’s looking for.

Being single longer than a person would like can bring on feelings of sadness, but God still expects us to have faith in His provision, no matter how things look. He expects that we will check-in with Him for greenlights and get that all-important “okay to go!” before we give someone access into our lives. When we don’t get an ‘all clear’ from God, we might fall for a tricked-out Boo from the enemy, and that’s not God’s Will for us. It’s not that the guy is so bad, but he may not be seasoned enough in God’s Word to resist being used by the devil against you.

God will help us no matter how bad the situation is, but the best approach is to not get into the situation in the first place. Amping up our prayer lives and understanding what God desires from us is always going to prepare us spiritually. It will help us operate in the gift of discernment, so that we will know a trick when we see it and steer clear.■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 “A Tricked-Out Boo” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

There are some things that are just baked into our makeup. They come standard with the packaging, but sometimes we mess with the wiring and cause things to go haywire. When this happens, one of the mistakes that we make is to think that we can let those things continue to run on automatic—that we can let them go unchecked. That’s just not true. God has gifted us with the responsibility to keep our own spiritual houses in order. Many of us do a fairly decent job when it comes to the outside. With all the make-up tutorials out there, we can keep those brows on fleek and that hair snatched with the best of em’. But when it comes to the inside—hmmm—that’s another story.

We all know what it feels like to go too long without eating, and to feel hungry; not exactly the most pleasant feeling, but it’s an extremely beneficial physical signal. When the stomach is empty, it causes a hunger hormone to be released, and it signals our brain that it’s eatin’ time. The body will naturally do this on its own. The hunger signal is on automatic, but somewhere along the way, many of us stopped paying attention to it. We eat when we’re not hungry, and sometimes we eat the wrong things. The problem has gotten so out of hand for a lot of us that many doctors are suggesting that we learn how to get back in touch with our hunger signals.

We overeat and eat the wrong foods for different reasons. Some of us are emotional eaters, others eat when they’re bored, and some of us have never learned to develop good eating habits in the first place. Whatever the reason, taking control will force us to ask and answer questions about exactly what signals we’ve followed and why. Our hunger for love should prompt us to do the same thing.

1John 4:10(NLT) says, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” God is love. He created us from love, and gave us the honor and privilege through Christ to walk in His love daily. We’re the spiritual children of God, and if there’s one signal that we can be confident in, it’s the one regarding His love. Not only does He teach us to love the right way, He will also help us to recognize when our tanks are running empty. This is often the signal we miss. And because we do, we look for love in all the wrong places.

Sometimes we don’t feed our spiritual selves a healthy diet, the kind that nurtures our relationship with God through Christ, and also makes our souls strong and our hearts happy. Many of us ignore the reality that God’s Holy Spirit lives inside us, and that loving Him is the highest form of loving ourselves.

Through the Lord Jesus Christ, God is constantly delivering the love signal, but one of the things we’ve learned is that if we eat the wrong thing, we begin to crave the wrong thing; so instead of picking up the real-love signal, we race to satisfy a craving that isn’t of God. We get into all sorts of trouble this way, because we’re starving ourselves of what we really need.

The way to make sure that we never starve is to do as Jesus Christ commanded in Mark 12:30 (NLT), when he said, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This isn’t a chore. It’s the greatest thing that any human being can do. It’s a privilege to love God. He pours that love right back into us and expands us, makes us more than we ever thought we could be.

1John 4:16 (NLT) tells us, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.” When we feast on God’s love, there’s no starving. His love fills us in every way. Trust in the unconditional, overwhelming love God has for you. Learn to love yourself through the eyes of His love, then your tank will always be full, and you’ll recognize and accept nothing less than a real-love signal. ■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 “Starving for Love” written by Fran for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!