Tag Archives: Domestic Violence and Abuse

The Winning Position

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A dear friend called me up recently and was very excited to tell me about her news. A co-worker encouraged her to sign-up on a dating app, and after contemplating it for several weeks, she finally did it. Single for the last ten years, she figured she’d give it another shot. It wasn’t long before she caught the eye of someone, and they began to have conversations. She kept me posted on their progress, and I thought that he sounded like a really nice guy. They finally decided to meet in person, but to my surprise, she was very nervous and hesitant. Although his conversations were nice, she said to me, “I’m really not attracted to his profile picture.” She didn’t think he’d be her type but went to meet him on the off chance that she’d be pleasantly surprised.

These are the kinds of hit-or-miss situations that single people indulge when they do not understand the degree to which God will lead and guide them when they seek Him. Some dating apps have worked out for some singles, there’s no question about that, but as born-again believers, we need to be sure to obtain a greenlight from Heavenly Father that a dating app is the way to go.

He commands us in 2Corinthians 6:14(NLT), “14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” Our Heavenly Father does not lie. His Word is true, righteous, and holy, and His Word never fails. This scripture in 2Corinthians 6:14 has nothing to do with a person’s physical appearance; it’s not talking about looks. It’s talking about spiritual realities. It is speaking to the spiritual identity of a human being, whether they are born of God’s Spirit or if they are a child of satan and do not belong to God at all. If they do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and reject him, they are unbelievers, and God tells us not to partner with them.

1John 1:5(NLT) says, “This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all.” God is ALL light, and He desires His light and love to cover everything that we do, and this is especially true of our unions. He would not tell us not to partner with darkness and then turn around and help us to do so. He wants us to seek Him and follow His direction. If He tells us to move, then we move. If He doesn’t tell us to move, then we don’t. We stay put and remain diligent to pray, and to read and study His Word, so that we continually go higher in Christ.

God is not hard of hearing, neither is He negligent in any way. He alone is the One who establishes the path to all blessings. He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6(NLT), “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God is not slow or slack to fulfill His promises. Our responsibility as His sons and daughters is to seek Him. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Be assured that hit-or-miss is not the Father’s way. When we meet men that do not meet our expectations, the inevitability of hurting someone’s feelings is always present. Even if their egos are slightly bruised, this is an offense we have caused that will ultimately come back to us. It isn’t worth it to leave a poor witness like this.

Your life is extremely valuable to our Heavenly Father. He wants to keep you protected and safe, and He doesn’t want you taking a chance on anyone that might harm you in any way. God gave His only begotten Son as a sacrifice for our sins so that you could always be in a winning position in life. We have the victory of Jesus Christ, but we must do our part. We must be wise about the decisions and choices we make, and most importantly, we must seek God in every aspect of our existences. He tells us in James 1:5(NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.”  When it comes to dating and finding the person who He has ordained to walk with us through life, this is exactly what we must do. We must ask the Father and have faith that He will lead, guide, and direct us on the right path.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“The Winning Position” written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Your Life Means So Much to God

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1Peter 4:10-12(NLT)
“10 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 11 Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen. 12 Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.”

How do we make our lives work from day to day? How do we make them fulfilling, and full of contentment and peace? Many of us struggle with this question. We don’t exactly know what will truly make us happy, but God knows. He starts with helping us to understand that we are not random beings moving throughout our days with no direction. We have a purpose in God’s Will and Plan! Ephesians 1:11(ESV) reveals, “In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.” Long before we entered our mother’s wombs, God knew us and made a plan for our lives. He has done this because He loves us and desires to work within us for His glory!

2Timothy 1:9(NLT) says, “For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time–to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father delights in us! He’s blessed us so richly because of His amazing grace, and that grace has been poured out on us through Jesus Christ! This was God’s plan all along, from the very beginning. There’s nothing that you and I can do to alter His wonderful plan. He invites us to position ourselves in it so we can receive all that He has in store.

Our issue is that our minds and hearts are so distracted with what is going on in the world that we are not looking in God’s direction. He has told us that our lives must be saturated with the example and love of Jesus Christ, but many of us are too busy imitating those we see in the world. I know women that are always comparing themselves to one another and trying to measure up to how their favorite celebrities look. They don’t understand that this is taking them away from God’s purpose. Romans 8:5(ESV) says, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”

This life doesn’t afford us the time to be distracted. We have a purpose and a call to fulfill, and this requires us to be hearers and doers of God’s Word. Jesus Christ makes it plain to us in Matthew 4:4(ESV), “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” God’s Word is our manna. It is the bread that causes us to prosper and flourish. So many of us complain that we don’t know our purpose and what we’re supposed to be doing for God’s Kingdom. James 4:2-3(NLT) addresses this and gives us the remedy. It says, “2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. 3 And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong–you want only what will give you pleasure.”

We must read and study God’s Word so that we know how to live in a way that pleases Him. This passage in James 4:2-3 makes it clear that we can’t go to the wrong source and expect to find a right solution. We must go to the Source that has all the answers and all the power to solve any issue we may face. We must go to God with our questions about our existences, because He alone has the plan for our lives, and He will tell us, but our hearts must be right. Our motives are all wrong when we go to God with questions about our purpose in His Will and Plan but have no desire or commitment to carry out what He reveals.

Some of us are so busy trying to look like the images of women we see in social media that we are missing the heart that God requires. We’ve got to switch up and put more focus on seeking Him than we do any other thing.

When I was not so busy with the responsibilities I have now, me and my group of my friends hung out together a lot. One of them is a fashionista, and she knew how to put outfits together and make them look like she stepped off a runway. Another friend was a great orator. Her diction was perfect, and she could speak in front of a crowd without missing a beat, she’s fearless. While another friend has a beautiful singing voice. I used to measure myself next to all of them, and sometimes I felt like there was nothing unique about me, but never again will I do that. Knowing that I mean so much to God, that He alone holds the plan for my life, and that His love is the thing that makes me special has made all the difference in how I see myself. Jesus Christ gave his life on the cross to save me from hell, and this makes me as worthy of God’s love as everyone else.

We can’t try to mold ourselves into being someone other than who God has made us. God warns us in Romans 12:2(NLT), “2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” He wants to transform us into the image of His dear Son, Jesus Christ. So, don’t miss out on what God has for you by becoming distracted by others, or what’s going on around you. Our lives mean so much to our Heavenly Father, and we can be confident that if we focus our attention on becoming more like Christ every day, we will prosper, be blessed and content, and full of God’s peace.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Your Life Means So Much to God”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Rest in God’s Shadow

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Psalm 91:1(NLT)
“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

When you’re in an abusive relationship or household, rest is not something you get very often. Your mind is occupied with all the things it takes for you to survive. Your heart is wrestling to love someone that hurts you, and your soul is troubled with fear about the next time you might have to go through it. You might look like a million bucks on the outside, but on the inside, you’re poised for danger coming at you from all sides. It’s trauma, and believe it or not, many of us have made ourselves used to it.

Our minds tell us that rest comes when the enraged attacker leaves in a fury of anger and for a while, ceases to injure us with verbal and physical abuse, but is that really rest? Is this the peace and quiet we believe we deserve? We thought our marriage or significant relationship would be a place of refuge from the cruel place the world can sometimes be. We thought this person we love or loved so much would embrace us, honor us even, but because of them, an eerie feeling permeates all the crevices of what we thought would be a sacred space. Some of us are blind to the reality that we’ve been tricked by satan. We can’t see that he is using someone close to separate us from peace and rest, that his goal is to steal our joy, imprison us with fear, and attack our faith in God.

If we think deeply about this, we can’t help but come away realizing that this is an incredibly dastardly plot; that someone would dare diminish our God-given right to peace and rest. It’s incredulous that an individual would have the audacity to do this, but this kind of thing is pervasive in our society. Thank God there’s a remedy. There’s a safe place in Christ. Through him there’s a way to restore all that we have lost and to renew ourselves to such a degree that we never again allow anyone to weaponize our capacity to love against us.

God never intended a life to be lived in a continual atmosphere of threat. Living this way is living beneath our privilege as His sons and daughters. It’s harmful to us, and it interferes with the peace, rest, and restoration that our relationship with God offers through Jesus Christ. The remedy is not in getting back at the one who has abused our love and support, and it’s certainly not waiting on them to change. The answer to every question, and the solution to every problem is found in Christ. It’s found in surrendering to him and allowing him entrance into our lives. How do we do this? We do it by faith, by believing that God is greater than our problems and greater than the abuser, and He wants to help us.

In Psalm 91:1, God tells us that those who live in His shelter will find rest in His shadow. This verse is teaching us about God’s covering, security, and provision. When we live in Him, we can expect that He will take care of us. Acts 17:28(ESV) states that “In him we live and move and have our being.” In other words, we go wherever God goes, because we are in Him through Jesus Christ. God is all love and light and does not cast a shadow. The word “shadow” in this verse represents God’s secret places. So, if we follow Him, He’ll provide rest for us in His secret places and put a hedge of protection around us. This is what God will do for those who love and honor Him, and this is where our faith must be, because He never fails, and He always follows through on His promises.  

Again, abuse is not God’s Will for us, and the continuance of it will cause our brain to shift to a gear of constantly responding to abuse, even when the abuser isn’t around. It’s exhausting as one might imagine. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 11:28(ESV), “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” As we ponder and soak in the grace and power of this invitation, we must remember that God is our Creator. He knows how we’re supposed to work. 2Corinthians 3:5(ESV) tells us, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.” Our wonderful Heavenly Father created us to rely upon Him completely, because He’s our Heavenly Father and He loves us. We were perfectly designed by Him to walk in the peace and rest that our union with Christ brings. This rest, this peace, cannot be found in any other than Christ, our Lord.

The psalmist wrote in Psalm 4:8(ESV), “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Our Heavenly Father has made it available to rest in Him, where we can be in perfect peace. Pray and ask the Lord to come into your mind and heart. Express your commitment to grow in Christ and surrender totally to him. God loves you, and He values you. He gave His only begotten Son as a sacrifice to save you. Philippians 2:13(ESV) declares, “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Surrender your day to Him every morning you’re blessed enough to wake up. Let the Father work in you and place your focus on pleasing Him. Have confidence that when you accept the Father’s invitation and let Him have His way in your life, the outcome is always going to be rest to your soul. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Rest in God’s Shadow”,  written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Turn to the Lord

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Isaiah 55:6-7(NLT)
“6 Seek the LORD while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. 7 Let the wicked change their ways and banish the very thought of doing wrong. Let them turn to the LORD that he may have mercy on them. Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.”

One of my good friends called me on New Year’s Eve crying because her significant other bailed on her. They had plans to go out and bring in the New Year with each other, but he said he had to work late and never showed up or called. They’ve been seeing each other for two-years, but for the last couple of months, he’d been distant.

No one would argue that a broken heart is very difficult to overcome, and the only thing you can think about is grabbing on to something to soothe the pain so that you don’t ever feel it again. In my case, after my first bout with a broken heart, I didn’t want to hear anything about meeting another man. I avoided relationships like the plague. Even though I knew I couldn’t remain in solitude forever, I was nervous about meeting someone new. At that time in my life, the thought of having to possibly take a chance with my heart being broken again was too much for my mind to conceive.

As I’ve done so often with the heartaches of my life, I remember something my grandmother told me when I was in my teens. Her words bring me comfort even today. Years ago, I was crying my eyes out when she discovered me. Entering high school, it was my first crush, and boy was his rejection devastating. For weeks, I cried myself to sleep, and the day my grandmother saw me, my eyes were almost swollen shut from crying so much. She told me, “Leave it in God’s hands, baby, He’ll fix it.”  I barely understood the depth of this truth then, but the comfort and reassurance of her words eased my young soul.

Now that I’m much older and have learned to lean on God for strength, I hang on to my grandmother’s encouragement and delve into God’s Word for comfort and solace. Hebrews 4:12(ESV) tells us, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Like many of you, I’ve endured heartbreaks that have taken my breath away, but through it all, nothing can soothe our hearts and restore our souls like God’s Word.

The Word reveals the power of God. It reveals His willingness and ability to use His power and strength for our good. When we turn to Him, He will inspire us with hope and help us see that He has so much more in store for our lives. He knows that when a relationship falls apart, some of us fall apart with it. He wants us to realize that He is our strength and hope. He doesn’t want us falling apart. He doesn’t want us thinking that our lives are diminished or over because someone doesn’t recognize how special we are. God wants us to have hope that we can be better, wiser, and stronger through the Lord Jesus Christ. We must have faith that He can and will turn things around if we turn to Him.

In Deuteronomy 4:29(NLT), God told His people, “But from there you will search again for the LORD your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him.” God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He tells us in Malachi 3:6 that He does not change. We must seek the Lord with all our hearts. His love is the only remedy for our pain, and He freely gives it to us. So often in life we miss out because we’re not seeking God for His comfort and care. We believed that a person or possession could fill up our empty places. Our Heavenly Father is the only one that can fill our cups to overflowing.

You might think, “Well, I’ve heard things like this about God, but I don’t know how to find Him.” You might think that He won’t hear you because maybe you haven’t done all the right things. The reality is that God knows you better than you know yourself. He’s your Creator, and He wants you to know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made, as the psalmist wrote in Psalm 139:14. We don’t have to be perfect to go to God, we just need to be humble before Him. We need to recognize that we don’t have all the answers, and we need help. He is not far but as near to you as your own heart. Let Him in. Turn to Him and allow Him to turn your life around.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Turn to the Lord”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God’s Grace is Our Paradise

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2Corinthians 12:9(NLT)
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

If you listen closely, you can hear the voice of God in this scripture. If you’ve digested it like a good meal and believed it with your whole heart, His Words will reverberate throughout any difficulty you face. We know that there are times in life where difficulties and heartache show up unexpectedly. We cry out to God and ask Him to take away the emotional pain because it can cut like a knife. We expect Him to do so immediately, but we must recognize that when we ask God to take away our emotional pain, we’re asking Him to take away the love as well. That is something that He will not do. However, what He will do is comfort our hearts and take on our burdens. Understand that He also expects us to do our part as well. We must focus our attention on loving Him, so that we can be the overcomers He’s made us in Christ and learn to live and love through His grace.

We need to be strengthened in our conviction that God always keeps His promises. We should hold to the truth of 2Corinthians 12:9 with all that we are, because the truth of God’s promise will encourage you to keep the faith. And make no mistake, at times, it can be a battle in our own hearts and minds to keep the faith, especially where our significant relationships are concerned.

In Proverbs 3:5, God tells us to trust in Him with all our hearts, and He also warns us not to lean on our own understanding. Our Heavenly Father isn’t making a suggestion here. He’s directing us to trust Him with our whole hearts and to steer clear of making decisions and choices without first consulting Him. Huge mistakes happen when we fail to do this. In Proverbs 4:23(NLT), He tells us to “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” God is giving us very simple instruction here. The heart is the source, and He’s telling us that if the heart is polluted, then issues become polluted. So, not guarding our hearts in a way that pleases God will always come back to bite us.

We are the ones in charge of our hearts and minds. God’s warning and instruction in Proverbs 4:23 is to keep our hearts pure, to watch what goes into them and watch what comes out of them. He wants us to learn to guard our hearts, to be careful about who we love and how we love, so that we will not make relationship decisions that work against us rather than for us.

God wants our hearts to be at peace, so that we are kept by Him through any situation. Our problem is that too often we leave God out of the equation. We’re jumping into relationships without His guidance, so when trouble hits, we don’t have the level of faith in Him that we should. Because of His incomparable grace, God wants to help us make the right relationship decisions. He also wants to help us heal and become better when we make the wrong ones, but we must be willing to learn the lesson of His love and grace. This means that we learn to invite Heavenly Father into every aspect of our existence.

God’s grace is His unmerited favor. We can’t do anything to earn it, He gives it freely. God demonstrated His grace toward us through forgiving our sins and giving us salvation through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. When our precious Lord was fastened to the cross as a sacrifice for our sins, he prayed for the people that crucified him. Jesus was crucified between two thieves. One of them that hung beside him had a hard heart and scoffed at Jesus, but the other criminal protested and came to Jesus’s defense. Luke 23:42-43(NLT) tells us, “42 Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” 43 And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.” The response of Jesus to this thief is another clear and wonderful example of God’s grace.

We are delivered, saved, and made whole through the grace of God. His grace is our paradise. Instead of taking away our pain, our Heavenly Father desires us to be strengthened through His grace. In other words, God’s grace is our strategy for overcoming any fear, heartache, or troubling condition. Nothing is too big or too hard for our God. Let Him into your pain and give yourself totally to Him. Don’t focus on the pain or hold on to it. Be committed to love greater through Jesus Christ! Focus on God’s grace to strengthen and help you become the person He has predestined you to be. His grace is all you need, and this is always the lesson of victory over any heartache that we endure.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Grace is Our Paradise”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God’s Truth is Hidden in Our Hearts

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2Corinthians 12:9(NLT)
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

When Julianne met Mark, she said her heart skipped a beat, and that’s how it felt almost every time she was with him. It wasn’t one of those kinds of things where the attraction slowly sneaks up on you. She was hooked instantly, and because of those internal butterflies fluttering away, she allowed herself to fall for Mark completely. She made him her whole world. Her friends complained about her not spending time with them anymore, and her parents saw a different side of her as well. Julianne assured her loved ones that she was just in love, and they didn’t need to worry. She was head over heels about Mark, and very little else mattered. They texted each other at work throughout the day, and spent just about every available moment together, but after a few months, things changed. Mark was beginning to pull away and gave Julianne no explanation why.

Most of us have a sense of the kind of pain that was waiting for Julianne. We’ve either seen it experienced by someone we know, or we’ve caught a glimpse or more of it ourselves. It can be the most severe emotional pain. It’s like the person we’ve let into our hearts has, with one hand, reached down our throats to our very cores and is squeezing and crushing us simultaneously. It may seem like it, but the reality is that no human being has this kind of power over us. In most cases, the ex goes on about his business, and is nowhere in our proximity, yet we may still be hurting as if they were right there, abandoning the relationship all over again.

This is a vicious cycle of pain, and one of the best gifts we can give ourselves is to muster the courage and faith to step out of it. We need to confront our pain with the truth of God’s Word, so that God’s healing power can go down deep. Our Heavenly Father teaches us about how His healing begins in Hebrews 8:10(NLT). This verse reiterates God’s prophecy that was first given in the Old Testament to His prophet, Jeremiah. It states, “But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.” For there to be a new covenant as Hebrews 8:10 tells us, there must be an old one. Our Heavenly Father gave the old covenant to His people living during Old Testament times, and He did so through His servant, Moses.

God wrote the Ten Commandments on two stone tablets. He commanded Moses to deliver the tablets to His people, but even while God was writing His commandments and meeting with Moses on Mount Sinai, the people had already violated them. When Moses came down, they had made an idol and were worshiping it. Moses later received a second set of tablets from God, but God’s people continued to violate His statutes and commandments, even after all the miraculous things He did for them. The psalmist wrote in Psalm 78:10(ESV), “They did not keep God’s covenant, but refused to walk according to his law.”

The old covenant is known as the Mosaic Covenant or Law of Moses, but God made a better covenant for us through Jesus Christ. Because of the finished work of the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God has poured out His Spirit on us. God’s truth is hidden in our hearts because He has given us His seed, the person of the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:16(NLT) tells us, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” Make no mistake, we are much more powerful than we think, and this is because we are our Heavenly Father’s children. We are strong because He has made us strong, and we need to be confident in this.

Through His Spirit, God has written His Word on our hearts and minds. This means that we have all that we need on the inside to overcome. We can do it because God says we can. Philippians 2:13(NLT) tells us, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” God is working in us, and we need to have faith in Him so that we can manifest all the good things that He’s planned for our lives. This is what we must remember when the emotional pain we experience seems too much to bear.

2Corinthians 12:9 teaches us that God’s grace is all we need. His power works best in weakness, and life will most certainly reveal this. Julianne literally almost fainted when Mark told her he wanted to take a break, and he ghosted her to the point of total disconnect. She had to be a different kind of woman to heal and become stronger, and although she didn’t think she had it in her, through the Holy Spirit, she most definitely did, and so do we. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“God’s Truth is Hidden in Our Hearts”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Hope Will Not Put Us to Shame

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 Romans 5:3-5(ESV)
“3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

 “This is a tough one for me – I’ve never been alone and Kevin’s decision to leave me
and the kids still doesn’t seem real to me.”

In my spirit, I felt that my friend Gwen was going through something. We’d usually talk at least twice a month, but it had been a while since we last spoke. I’d called her a few times and sent a couple of text messages, and it took a while for her to respond. When she did, her responses were brief, and that wasn’t like her. Gwen and Kevin had been married for twelve years, and the last two years had been tough. One of their kids has autism, and Gwen didn’t think Kevin was as supportive as he should have been. On a Saturday afternoon, my doorbell rang, and there stood Gwen. She stopped by on her way to her mother’s house and said she wanted to see me in person instead of telling me about her news over the phone. “He left me and the kids!” She belted out and fell into my arms as they seem to automatically move to embrace her.

Romans 5:3 says that we rejoice in our sufferings because they produce endurance. Endurance is a quality that is necessary to run this race of life that God has set before us, but when we’re going through something like Gwen, endurance may not be all that appealing. In fact, it’s probably the last thing any of us would want to think about. As a parent with mouths to feed, your mind is inundated with thoughts about how you’re going to support your kids and get from point A to point B. The thing we must recognize is that endurance is the ability that allows us to do that. It helps us to move ourselves out of heartbreak and into a place of resilience and strength. Endurance goes hand in hand with faith and hope, because even though things may look troubling, our faith in God sustains us and carries us through.

Psalm 95:6-7(NLT) says, “6 Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the LORD our maker, 7 for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today!” When our minds are racing with anxiety and worry, most of us don’t listen, but we should. We should listen to the truth that God tells us in His Word about His power, love, peace, and comfort. He is worthy to be praised and our gratitude for all He has done for us should prompt us to pay attention to His promise to help us. It is an extraordinary privilege to worship God and to do the things that please Him, but some of us have an accurate image of our Heavenly Father in our minds and hearts. Because of this, we can allow the difficulties of life to make us become emotionally detached from Him. Whether we know it or not, this is a deeper pain than any heartbreak or abandonment caused by a mere human being.

When we’re broken, and have others depending on us, we need the kind of comfort and assurance that only the Lord can give. God leads, guides, and directs us into the kind of life that pleases Him and fulfills us as well. He is our Shepherd, Refuge, and Maker. We’re His people and He has promised to take care of us. He allows us to rest in green pastures and leads us beside peaceful waters. He, and He alone, restores our souls and lead us in the paths of righteousness. We need to remember this when we’re faced with devastating loss.

No matter how damaged we are, God is forever and always our Shepherd. He said in Malachi 3:6(NKJV), “For I am the LORD, I do not change;” Titus 1:2 tells us that He cannot lie. He wants us to lean on Him because He has all power in His hands, and He is willing and able to help us. We must also be clear that we have a part to play as well. We must shift our false beliefs and thoughts away from defeat and self-punishment and allow God’s perfect love to cast out all our fear and anxiety. All the traumas and heartaches we endure will reveal some patterns of behavior that we need to release. They need to be removed from our lives, so God’s love has greater room to move and restore.

Psalm 146:5(NLT) says, “But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.” Our hope in God will not bring us shame. It will bring us victory, restoration, and renewal! Our hope in God will give us the strength to learn from our past mistakes and take back our power to love better and make better choices. We do not have to be held captive by the pain we’ve endured. We must be committed to ask for God’s forgiveness for all our sins. We must pray for wisdom and understanding, and we must pray and apply the blood of Jesus Christ in those areas in our lives where we need healing and deliverance. Although our hard times are unexpected and painful, God has something much brighter and better for us if we remain hopeful, keep our faith in Him, and focus our eyes on His love and power.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “Hope Will Not Put Us to Shame”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

A Stronghold in Times of Trouble

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Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Why am I in this situation? How in the world did I get here? While I was married to my husband, I asked myself these questions almost every day, but when we began the relationship, things weren’t as bad as they had become.  When we first started dating, he was kind, generous, and he always put me first. Our courtship lasted a year and then we got married. Of course, the first month was an adjustment period. We both had pretty established lives before we got married; our own places, good job security, and financial stability. I didn’t think the few disagreements after we moved in together were unusual, but after six months, small disagreements turned into days of not speaking to one another. I never believed I was the kind of woman to disrespect myself or my man, but his mental and emotional abuse was too much. It brought out things in me that I never knew existed, and I was at the lowest point of my life.

Every day, there are women going through the same things I did. Some are experiencing much more dangerous situations than disrespectful name calling and a hard shove here and there. The thing that becomes very clear to anyone in an abusive relationship is that once a certain level of respect is lost, things spiral down a dark hole very quickly. It seemed that my husband and I were almost near the bottom. It felt impossible that he would make a change and begin to honor me. Too many horrible things had been said and done. The treatment was indeed the bottom of the barrel, and I felt the only thing I could do was brace myself for more pain.

I started to struggle in my faith and doubt God’s love for me. I felt abandoned not only by my husband, but by God as well. “If God will allow this hurt and pain then what do I have left?” I asked myself. 2Corinthians 13:5(NIV) gives us the reality check that answers some of the most challenging questions of life, like the ones I had as I struggled to come to terms with my life. It tells us, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” When things are going well, most of us never question whether we are living by faith the way that God commands us to, but when life goes sideways, we choose the route that most do, which is to blame God for the conditions we’re facing.

Some will even think that God is punishing them and that they must endure the hardship and suffer. They erroneously think that this is what God wants. He doesn’t. In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us what God wants for every person. He said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” God wants us to have a more than abundant life, and He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to make this kind of life available to everyone.

God will help us during the most difficult times of our lives. Psalm 9:9 (ESV) tells us, “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” When our faith is not where it should be and we are not putting all our trust in God, He still helps us, but we need to know that His Will is that we learn to walk by faith in a greater way. God doesn’t want to be at the same level of faith from year to year. Colossians 2:6-7 tells us that He desires us to be rooted and built up in Christ, and we are to be established and going higher in faith in Him. God wants us to follow His Word so that we avoid relationships that will not yield the kind of love and support He wants His daughters to receive from their spouses. Having faith in God means that we believe it is possible to love and be loved according to the example of Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV) says, “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” This is God’s standard. Of course, a wife must be equally as loving, kind, and respectful of her husband, but as women, we must know that God’s Will is for us to be loved and supported to this degree.

We must have faith that God is our stronghold in any condition and in every situation. Even when things seem impossible, Romans 8:28 tells us that He can turn them around and cause them to work together for our good, but we must be clear that He doesn’t want us to be mistreated just as He doesn’t want us to mistreat anyone either. It’s going to be necessary for us to hold up a mirror and examine ourselves. Self-reflection and being accountable to following the example of Christ is the best tool for anyone interested in living their best life.

Most of us spend our lives doing exactly what we want to do. Before we made consequential choices and decisions, we didn’t think to ask for God’s counsel or permission, and this method of approaching life will not yield the results we hope. Part of growing in faith is changing the way we think as we also pray for God’s guidance and direction. We also must develop a deeper well of love so that we are spiritually prepared to love others according to the example of Christ. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us that we are to be kind and forgive one another. This level of love for Jesus Christ and love and compassion for others is required to please God. It should be in our hearts way before we consider marriage. When it is, we will be better able to recognize and discern if a man does or doesn’t have the capacity to love us in the way that Christ does. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “A Stronghold in Times of Trouble”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Unwavering Faith

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Hebrews 11:1(NLT) teaches us that “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Another helpful way of looking at it is to see faith as the title deed to the thing we are believing to receive. Within the laws of this country, a deed is a document that serves as evidence of a person’s legal ownership of a property or thing, and it is recognized by all authorities as proof of ownership. In a spiritual sense, our faith is the legal evidence of our belief in God’s willingness and ability to bless us. God has decreed that it is unquestionably accepted by everything in heaven and beneath it. Our faith is the proof that we have legal ownership of the blessing we’ve prayed for even before it actually arrives on the scene.

Faith is right believing, and Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. This tells us that faith involves our minds and hearts, because faith demands that we believe in something we cannot see. In our everyday circumstances, most of us don’t have a problem believing God for small things, but some of us struggle to believe Him for really big things. Whether it’s minor or major, our minds must be focused on the goodness of God and His willingness and ability to bless us continually.

Faith demands that we guard our hearts, and not allow thoughts, attitudes, or behaviors to move us off it’s path. This requires us to continually renew our minds to God’s promises so that our minds and hearts equal the goodness and bounty of the blessing we are praying to receive. This can be challenging for us, because we’re hooked into the way we have always thought, spoken, and behaved in our every day lives. We’re so connected to our cell phones that they’re almost an extension of our bodies. We’re constantly distracted by many things that are going on in the world, and this is exactly what the devil wants. Interrupting our mental discipline so that we will not believe and trust God as we should is the devil’s main objective.

The mind is the battleground of faith, and to remain spiritually strong, we must confess God’s promises and be anchored in His Word. Hebrews 11:6 (NLT) tells us, “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” When God tells us that something is an impossibility, we had better believe that it is. We cannot please God without faith, because faith is the foundation of our relationship with Him. None of us have ever seen God. We weren’t physically there when Jesus Christ died on the cross and gave his life as a sacrifice for our sins. Neither were we physically there when God resurrected Christ from the dead. We didn’t physically witness what God accomplished in Christ for our salvation. We didn’t see it, but faith demands that we believe it.

Keeping our faith in God strong is the number one thing that believers wrestle with. It can be mentally and emotionally intense because the enemy tries to vehemently come against our believing, messing with our minds with all kinds of defeating thoughts. 1Timothy 6:12 tells us to fight the good fight of faith, because we have already won through Jesus Christ; we just need to stay the course and remain faithful and obedient to God. Our faith in Him brings us in direct proximity to His Will. We cannot be defeated when our faith is unwavering in this way, and the devil knows this.

Romans 8:37(NKVJ) affirms, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”  Unwavering faith is believing God even when the devil tries to make our situations look impossible to conquer. God is the Lifter of our heads. He has made us more than conquerors in Christ. Because of the strength and spiritual weapons that we have received from Him, we are empowered through the Holy Spirit to stand firm against all the tricks, plots, and devices of the enemy.

The blessing of having unwavering faith in our Heavenly Father is something that can’t be compared to anything else. We are on this earth to grow in our faith in God, because this is what deepens our relationship with Him. God will never leave or forsake us and trusting this means that our faith is unwavering. Not trusting it means that our minds are not made up and we are undecided. This will not do. James 1:6(NLT) tells us, “But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.” As children of God, our faith must be solidly planted on the truth of who our God is. We are empowered by Him to strive for this level of believing every day, and if we do, our lives will flourish and our faith in God will not waver.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Unwavering Faith”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God Wants You to Think and Feel Good

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God created us to live from the inside out, which means whatever we think and whatever is living inside our hearts is going to manifest on the outside. Many of us forget this when the situations of life don’t work in our favor. We’re very quick to blame others, or to think that God is punishing us, but this is never the case. God doesn’t punish us. He has created the universe in such a way that it will give us what we give it. With each action we take, each behavior we display, each word we speak, and each thought we think, we are building our futures. With our thoughts, behaviors, confessions, and conversations, we are laying the groundwork for what is going to come back to us. That can be a blessing, or it can also be the same negative energy we put out there, and it is boomeranging at our direction with a speed and velocity we’re not going to like.

Proverbs 23:7(NKJV) says “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” This verse makes the connection for us between our minds, our hearts, and the state of our existences. God tells us in His Word why it’s so important to put on the mind of Christ. Changing the way we think is vital to walking in the Spirit and living by faith. Before we knew about life in Christ or about his example from the Word of God, many of us were dissatisfied with life. Some of us were heartbroken over our relationships, and others of us were very lonely and sad. Whether it was trauma, health challenges, or financial hardship, we were desperate for help and sought the Lord. Jesus Christ invites us in Matthew 11:28 to bring our burdens to him, because he wants us to rest in him. He also wants us to learn about him so that we increase in his strength and love and become the men and women that God wants us to be.

God commands us in Romans 12:2(NLT), “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Copying the world’s customs and behaviors is what we did before we learned about Christ. Now that we have accepted the Lord into our hearts, God tells us to let Him transform us into a new person. He accomplishes our transformation as we partner with Him by changing the way we think.

Many of us have known women that gossip, talk about people, and even talk down on others because of their clothes or anything else they may not like. Friends get on the phone, and sometimes their whole conversation is about negativity and tearing other’s down. This isn’t an okay thing to do. God will not bypass it because it is a sin. There is a price to pay for it, and the person putting this negativity out there will receive it back in greater portion than their original sin.

2Corinthians 5:20(NLT) tells us “So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” We represent Christ in the earth. God’s Will is that when people look at us, they see the love and light of His only begotten Son. So, we must know that God wants us to be as happy as we can possibly be. He doesn’t want us to keep setting ourselves up for failure by continuously thinking and speaking the negativity of darkness over our own lives. We must stop doing this. If a situation looks bad, don’t say what you think, say what God says. Change your thoughts to line up with the hope and faith of Jesus Christ.

God has given us His Word, His Son, and His Spirit because He wants us to live the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ talks about in John 10:10. God accomplished our salvation through the sacrifice of our precious Savior so that we could live free. Colossians 3:1-4 (NLT) says “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” Again, God wants us to feel good all the time, and we achieve this by focusing on His goodness. We can’t feel good feelings and think good thoughts by focusing on the world. We must keep our eyes on Jesus Christ, because he’s the One who can put a smile on our faces and joy in our hearts. So, put the Word in your mind and in your heart, because God promises that it will change your life!■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Wants You to Think and Feel Good”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!