Tag Archives: Domestic Violence and Abuse

Hope Will Not Put Us to Shame

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 Romans 5:3-5(ESV)
“3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

 “This is a tough one for me – I’ve never been alone and Kevin’s decision to leave me
and the kids still doesn’t seem real to me.”

In my spirit, I felt that my friend Gwen was going through something. We’d usually talk at least twice a month, but it had been a while since we last spoke. I’d called her a few times and sent a couple of text messages, and it took a while for her to respond. When she did, her responses were brief, and that wasn’t like her. Gwen and Kevin had been married for twelve years, and the last two years had been tough. One of their kids has autism, and Gwen didn’t think Kevin was as supportive as he should have been. On a Saturday afternoon, my doorbell rang, and there stood Gwen. She stopped by on her way to her mother’s house and said she wanted to see me in person instead of telling me about her news over the phone. “He left me and the kids!” She belted out and fell into my arms as they seem to automatically move to embrace her.

Romans 5:3 says that we rejoice in our sufferings because they produce endurance. Endurance is a quality that is necessary to run this race of life that God has set before us, but when we’re going through something like Gwen, endurance may not be all that appealing. In fact, it’s probably the last thing any of us would want to think about. As a parent with mouths to feed, your mind is inundated with thoughts about how you’re going to support your kids and get from point A to point B. The thing we must recognize is that endurance is the ability that allows us to do that. It helps us to move ourselves out of heartbreak and into a place of resilience and strength. Endurance goes hand in hand with faith and hope, because even though things may look troubling, our faith in God sustains us and carries us through.

Psalm 95:6-7(NLT) says, “6 Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the LORD our maker, 7 for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today!” When our minds are racing with anxiety and worry, most of us don’t listen, but we should. We should listen to the truth that God tells us in His Word about His power, love, peace, and comfort. He is worthy to be praised and our gratitude for all He has done for us should prompt us to pay attention to His promise to help us. It is an extraordinary privilege to worship God and to do the things that please Him, but some of us have an accurate image of our Heavenly Father in our minds and hearts. Because of this, we can allow the difficulties of life to make us become emotionally detached from Him. Whether we know it or not, this is a deeper pain than any heartbreak or abandonment caused by a mere human being.

When we’re broken, and have others depending on us, we need the kind of comfort and assurance that only the Lord can give. God leads, guides, and directs us into the kind of life that pleases Him and fulfills us as well. He is our Shepherd, Refuge, and Maker. We’re His people and He has promised to take care of us. He allows us to rest in green pastures and leads us beside peaceful waters. He, and He alone, restores our souls and lead us in the paths of righteousness. We need to remember this when we’re faced with devastating loss.

No matter how damaged we are, God is forever and always our Shepherd. He said in Malachi 3:6(NKJV), “For I am the LORD, I do not change;” Titus 1:2 tells us that He cannot lie. He wants us to lean on Him because He has all power in His hands, and He is willing and able to help us. We must also be clear that we have a part to play as well. We must shift our false beliefs and thoughts away from defeat and self-punishment and allow God’s perfect love to cast out all our fear and anxiety. All the traumas and heartaches we endure will reveal some patterns of behavior that we need to release. They need to be removed from our lives, so God’s love has greater room to move and restore.

Psalm 146:5(NLT) says, “But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.” Our hope in God will not bring us shame. It will bring us victory, restoration, and renewal! Our hope in God will give us the strength to learn from our past mistakes and take back our power to love better and make better choices. We do not have to be held captive by the pain we’ve endured. We must be committed to ask for God’s forgiveness for all our sins. We must pray for wisdom and understanding, and we must pray and apply the blood of Jesus Christ in those areas in our lives where we need healing and deliverance. Although our hard times are unexpected and painful, God has something much brighter and better for us if we remain hopeful, keep our faith in Him, and focus our eyes on His love and power.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “Hope Will Not Put Us to Shame”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

A Stronghold in Times of Trouble

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Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Why am I in this situation? How in the world did I get here? While I was married to my husband, I asked myself these questions almost every day, but when we began the relationship, things weren’t as bad as they had become.  When we first started dating, he was kind, generous, and he always put me first. Our courtship lasted a year and then we got married. Of course, the first month was an adjustment period. We both had pretty established lives before we got married; our own places, good job security, and financial stability. I didn’t think the few disagreements after we moved in together were unusual, but after six months, small disagreements turned into days of not speaking to one another. I never believed I was the kind of woman to disrespect myself or my man, but his mental and emotional abuse was too much. It brought out things in me that I never knew existed, and I was at the lowest point of my life.

Every day, there are women going through the same things I did. Some are experiencing much more dangerous situations than disrespectful name calling and a hard shove here and there. The thing that becomes very clear to anyone in an abusive relationship is that once a certain level of respect is lost, things spiral down a dark hole very quickly. It seemed that my husband and I were almost near the bottom. It felt impossible that he would make a change and begin to honor me. Too many horrible things had been said and done. The treatment was indeed the bottom of the barrel, and I felt the only thing I could do was brace myself for more pain.

I started to struggle in my faith and doubt God’s love for me. I felt abandoned not only by my husband, but by God as well. “If God will allow this hurt and pain then what do I have left?” I asked myself. 2Corinthians 13:5(NIV) gives us the reality check that answers some of the most challenging questions of life, like the ones I had as I struggled to come to terms with my life. It tells us, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” When things are going well, most of us never question whether we are living by faith the way that God commands us to, but when life goes sideways, we choose the route that most do, which is to blame God for the conditions we’re facing.

Some will even think that God is punishing them and that they must endure the hardship and suffer. They erroneously think that this is what God wants. He doesn’t. In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us what God wants for every person. He said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” God wants us to have a more than abundant life, and He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to make this kind of life available to everyone.

God will help us during the most difficult times of our lives. Psalm 9:9 (ESV) tells us, “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” When our faith is not where it should be and we are not putting all our trust in God, He still helps us, but we need to know that His Will is that we learn to walk by faith in a greater way. God doesn’t want to be at the same level of faith from year to year. Colossians 2:6-7 tells us that He desires us to be rooted and built up in Christ, and we are to be established and going higher in faith in Him. God wants us to follow His Word so that we avoid relationships that will not yield the kind of love and support He wants His daughters to receive from their spouses. Having faith in God means that we believe it is possible to love and be loved according to the example of Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV) says, “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” This is God’s standard. Of course, a wife must be equally as loving, kind, and respectful of her husband, but as women, we must know that God’s Will is for us to be loved and supported to this degree.

We must have faith that God is our stronghold in any condition and in every situation. Even when things seem impossible, Romans 8:28 tells us that He can turn them around and cause them to work together for our good, but we must be clear that He doesn’t want us to be mistreated just as He doesn’t want us to mistreat anyone either. It’s going to be necessary for us to hold up a mirror and examine ourselves. Self-reflection and being accountable to following the example of Christ is the best tool for anyone interested in living their best life.

Most of us spend our lives doing exactly what we want to do. Before we made consequential choices and decisions, we didn’t think to ask for God’s counsel or permission, and this method of approaching life will not yield the results we hope. Part of growing in faith is changing the way we think as we also pray for God’s guidance and direction. We also must develop a deeper well of love so that we are spiritually prepared to love others according to the example of Christ. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us that we are to be kind and forgive one another. This level of love for Jesus Christ and love and compassion for others is required to please God. It should be in our hearts way before we consider marriage. When it is, we will be better able to recognize and discern if a man does or doesn’t have the capacity to love us in the way that Christ does. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “A Stronghold in Times of Trouble”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Unwavering Faith

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Hebrews 11:1(NLT) teaches us that “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Another helpful way of looking at it is to see faith as the title deed to the thing we are believing to receive. Within the laws of this country, a deed is a document that serves as evidence of a person’s legal ownership of a property or thing, and it is recognized by all authorities as proof of ownership. In a spiritual sense, our faith is the legal evidence of our belief in God’s willingness and ability to bless us. God has decreed that it is unquestionably accepted by everything in heaven and beneath it. Our faith is the proof that we have legal ownership of the blessing we’ve prayed for even before it actually arrives on the scene.

Faith is right believing, and Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. This tells us that faith involves our minds and hearts, because faith demands that we believe in something we cannot see. In our everyday circumstances, most of us don’t have a problem believing God for small things, but some of us struggle to believe Him for really big things. Whether it’s minor or major, our minds must be focused on the goodness of God and His willingness and ability to bless us continually.

Faith demands that we guard our hearts, and not allow thoughts, attitudes, or behaviors to move us off it’s path. This requires us to continually renew our minds to God’s promises so that our minds and hearts equal the goodness and bounty of the blessing we are praying to receive. This can be challenging for us, because we’re hooked into the way we have always thought, spoken, and behaved in our every day lives. We’re so connected to our cell phones that they’re almost an extension of our bodies. We’re constantly distracted by many things that are going on in the world, and this is exactly what the devil wants. Interrupting our mental discipline so that we will not believe and trust God as we should is the devil’s main objective.

The mind is the battleground of faith, and to remain spiritually strong, we must confess God’s promises and be anchored in His Word. Hebrews 11:6 (NLT) tells us, “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.” When God tells us that something is an impossibility, we had better believe that it is. We cannot please God without faith, because faith is the foundation of our relationship with Him. None of us have ever seen God. We weren’t physically there when Jesus Christ died on the cross and gave his life as a sacrifice for our sins. Neither were we physically there when God resurrected Christ from the dead. We didn’t physically witness what God accomplished in Christ for our salvation. We didn’t see it, but faith demands that we believe it.

Keeping our faith in God strong is the number one thing that believers wrestle with. It can be mentally and emotionally intense because the enemy tries to vehemently come against our believing, messing with our minds with all kinds of defeating thoughts. 1Timothy 6:12 tells us to fight the good fight of faith, because we have already won through Jesus Christ; we just need to stay the course and remain faithful and obedient to God. Our faith in Him brings us in direct proximity to His Will. We cannot be defeated when our faith is unwavering in this way, and the devil knows this.

Romans 8:37(NKVJ) affirms, “Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”  Unwavering faith is believing God even when the devil tries to make our situations look impossible to conquer. God is the Lifter of our heads. He has made us more than conquerors in Christ. Because of the strength and spiritual weapons that we have received from Him, we are empowered through the Holy Spirit to stand firm against all the tricks, plots, and devices of the enemy.

The blessing of having unwavering faith in our Heavenly Father is something that can’t be compared to anything else. We are on this earth to grow in our faith in God, because this is what deepens our relationship with Him. God will never leave or forsake us and trusting this means that our faith is unwavering. Not trusting it means that our minds are not made up and we are undecided. This will not do. James 1:6(NLT) tells us, “But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.” As children of God, our faith must be solidly planted on the truth of who our God is. We are empowered by Him to strive for this level of believing every day, and if we do, our lives will flourish and our faith in God will not waver.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Unwavering Faith”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

God Wants You to Think and Feel Good

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God created us to live from the inside out, which means whatever we think and whatever is living inside our hearts is going to manifest on the outside. Many of us forget this when the situations of life don’t work in our favor. We’re very quick to blame others, or to think that God is punishing us, but this is never the case. God doesn’t punish us. He has created the universe in such a way that it will give us what we give it. With each action we take, each behavior we display, each word we speak, and each thought we think, we are building our futures. With our thoughts, behaviors, confessions, and conversations, we are laying the groundwork for what is going to come back to us. That can be a blessing, or it can also be the same negative energy we put out there, and it is boomeranging at our direction with a speed and velocity we’re not going to like.

Proverbs 23:7(NKJV) says “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” This verse makes the connection for us between our minds, our hearts, and the state of our existences. God tells us in His Word why it’s so important to put on the mind of Christ. Changing the way we think is vital to walking in the Spirit and living by faith. Before we knew about life in Christ or about his example from the Word of God, many of us were dissatisfied with life. Some of us were heartbroken over our relationships, and others of us were very lonely and sad. Whether it was trauma, health challenges, or financial hardship, we were desperate for help and sought the Lord. Jesus Christ invites us in Matthew 11:28 to bring our burdens to him, because he wants us to rest in him. He also wants us to learn about him so that we increase in his strength and love and become the men and women that God wants us to be.

God commands us in Romans 12:2(NLT), “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Copying the world’s customs and behaviors is what we did before we learned about Christ. Now that we have accepted the Lord into our hearts, God tells us to let Him transform us into a new person. He accomplishes our transformation as we partner with Him by changing the way we think.

Many of us have known women that gossip, talk about people, and even talk down on others because of their clothes or anything else they may not like. Friends get on the phone, and sometimes their whole conversation is about negativity and tearing other’s down. This isn’t an okay thing to do. God will not bypass it because it is a sin. There is a price to pay for it, and the person putting this negativity out there will receive it back in greater portion than their original sin.

2Corinthians 5:20(NLT) tells us “So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” We represent Christ in the earth. God’s Will is that when people look at us, they see the love and light of His only begotten Son. So, we must know that God wants us to be as happy as we can possibly be. He doesn’t want us to keep setting ourselves up for failure by continuously thinking and speaking the negativity of darkness over our own lives. We must stop doing this. If a situation looks bad, don’t say what you think, say what God says. Change your thoughts to line up with the hope and faith of Jesus Christ.

God has given us His Word, His Son, and His Spirit because He wants us to live the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ talks about in John 10:10. God accomplished our salvation through the sacrifice of our precious Savior so that we could live free. Colossians 3:1-4 (NLT) says “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” Again, God wants us to feel good all the time, and we achieve this by focusing on His goodness. We can’t feel good feelings and think good thoughts by focusing on the world. We must keep our eyes on Jesus Christ, because he’s the One who can put a smile on our faces and joy in our hearts. So, put the Word in your mind and in your heart, because God promises that it will change your life!■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Wants You to Think and Feel Good”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Prayers of Tears

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“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.”
Psalms 126:5 NLT

Sometimes we come to a breaking point where we don’t have words to pray but only our tears. Life has trampled and bombarded us in such a way that it looks like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Walls seem to be caving in, and you might feel as though the devil has won. You find yourself crying to sleep at nights. During the day, your head aches from crying so much, and you can’t imagine you have any tears left, but they keep streaming somehow. You can’t speak, but you’re crying out to the Lord in prayer through your tears.

God understands. He knows that life can beat up on us so bad that we lose hope sometimes. 1Peter 4:12-13(NLT) encourages, “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.” Jesus Christ suffered for the sake of God’s Will and plan to save His children. Jesus endured the persecution and suffering, and now he is seated at the right hand of God. He is the Savior of the world and he is our hope.

Jesus Christ never told us that life would always be easy. Before his crucifixion and ascension, he had a conversation with his disciples about the hard times ahead. In John 16:33(NLT) he said, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” This was not an easy thing for the disciples to hear because Jesus has had been so close to them, but he didn’t want them to focus on the troubles, he wanted them to focus on his love, power, and strength. This is what we must do. Jesus Christ wants us to know that he overcame the world, and because he did, you and I can live in his victory.

In Joshua 1:9 (NLT), God told His people living in Old Testament times, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Tribulation and troubles are a part of life, but no matter what we’re going through, God wants us to know that He is with us and that He loves us. He wants our believing to be transformed to genuine faith in Him, so that we never doubt His willingness and ability to bless us. Sometimes we go back and forth in our minds. “Will He deliver me like He said?” or “Will He really cause all things to work together for my good?” We ask these questions because we’re learning to trust God, and through the process of our tribulations, He shows us His strength and power. He affirms that our trust in Him is well-placed over and over.

King David, the psalmist, wrote in Psalms 69:1-3 (NLT),  “Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold. I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me.” David’s prayer is so transparent and honest. He cries out to God and really tells it like it is. In life, sometimes we do feel like we’re sinking into an abyss of pain and problems, but our God is faithful. He rescued David repeatedly, and He will do the same for us. Either through our words or tears, God hears our prayers, and He alone can replace those sorrows with joy.

Our hearts hurt so bad sometimes that we just don’t have the words. We feel shaky, unsure, and off-balance. This is when we need to lean on God the most. We can rest in the reality that He hears our tears. The Father knows everything that we want to say. He doesn’t bypass or brush us off. He is rich in mercy and grace, and He already has a plan to deliver and rescue us, but we must trust Him.

We must not ever see our problems as being greater than God, or greater than His willingness and ability to set our feet on higher ground. Don’t sink to the point that you lose faith in Him. Remind yourself continually of 2Timothy 1:7(NLT), “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” God is telling us that He has placed power, love, and self-control in us through Jesus Christ, and we must never forget the power of prayer through our faith. God wants to show us what it means to partner our faith with His strength. He made us for His purpose, and He will bring us through the valley victoriously and wipe away our tears as we trust in Him.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Prayers of Tears”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

A Happy and Successful Life

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Joshua 1:8(NLT)
“Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.  Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.”

In the Old Testament, after Moses died, Joshua took his place as the leader of God’s people. In Joshua 1:8, God commanded Joshua to tell His people about His requirement. There could be no substitutes, addendums, alterations, or adjustments to God’s instruction. It was to the point, and very clear. He commanded the people to study His Word. The practice of studying means to devote time and focused attention upon a subject. This is how we must all approach God’s Word. It’s not meant to be a once-in-a-while practice. God commanded those living in Old Testament times to study His Word continually, and the same goes for us. God rewards those who study and mediate on His Word. He delights in this, and we should as well.

Not only is our focused attention on His Word required, but He has told us to meditate on it day and night, and He has commanded us to obey all His statues and commandments. Again, we can have confidence that the practice of studying and meditating on God’s Word is something that Heavenly Father rewards. He promises to reward our diligence by causing us to prosper and succeed in everything we do. God spoke this to His people living thousands of years ago, and He is speaking it to those of us living today.

In the New Testament, He tells us in Hebrews 4:12(ESV), “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” And in 2Timothy3:16-17(ESV), He tells us, “16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” God’s Word is our bread of life! When Jesus Christ was tempted and tested by the devil in the wilderness, he responded to every temptation with “IT IS WRITTEN…” The Word of God equips us for every good work. It equips us for victory!

God’s Word is the Spirit’s sword, and God commands us to use it so that we are spiritually prepared to carry forth His purpose, and so that we can abide continually in His blessings. To meditate on God’s Word is to fix our minds on a verse or passage and allow it to marinate in our minds. It’s to examine the verse or passage from all angles and to do this in a very peaceful and calm state. The psalmist tells us a lot about what we should be meditating on in order to please God and draw closer to Him. In Psalm 48:9(NLT), he wrote, “O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple.” In Psalm 119:27, the psalmist tells us that he meditates on God’s wonderful deeds, and Psalm 119:117 tells us he meditated on God’s decrees.

The words of the Psalms give us all the inspiration we need. It tells us the aspects of God’s nature and being, and these are the excellent and holy qualities, promises, and decrees of God that should capture our attention continually.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to keep our minds focused on His Word, so that we can respond to any situation or crisis and do so with His strength and wisdom. For this to happen, His promises, guidance, and direction must sink deep within and be cemented in our minds and hearts. It’s not a verse or two every month or so. It’s an imbedded habit pattern of staying our minds on what God has said.  Many living in our current times are not responding to God and to life with His Word. In fact, many have turned their backs on His wisdom. They have labeled God’s Word as ‘outdated’ or ‘antiquated’. “People can’t live that way now…” Many have said, and they have used this as an excuse not to obey what God says. This is a very costly mistake.

Our Heavenly Father is brilliant beyond brilliance. He has empowered us to live holy and righteous, and He has purposed every aspect of our existence to model after our Big Brother, Jesus Christ. God tells us in 2Timothy 2:15(ESV) to “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” It’s our privilege and responsibility to be a worker of God’s Word. It’s the way we stand approved before Him. If we are committed to study God’s Word and live by the example of Christ, we will become wiser and spiritually stronger, and because of our commitment to obey Him, God promises that we will have a happy and successful life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“A Happy and Successful Life”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Walking in Your Purpose

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Marthea Duncan received the promotion she had been vying for since the day she started working for a prominent nonprofit. Her former boss was terminated for consistently missing the company’s fundraising goals. Marthea believed she could do a much better job, but already she had rubbed some of the other employees the wrong way. Like her predecessor, she went in thinking she could do everything better, and rather than creating a teamwork environment, she began micromanaging. Marthea’s expertise is fundraising, that’s what she’s done her entire working life. She’s good at it, but she’s not good at tracking the numbers. Instead of working with a well-seasoned accounting person who has been at the organization for ten years, Marthea tried to belittle her and now the accountant is about to quit. When Marthea’s boss heard about this, she arranged to speak with Marthea immediately.

As my grandmother would say, “You can catch a lot more bees with honey than you can with vinegar.” This saying means that you can get further by being polite than you can by being mean or unkind. Marthea had a little trouble with this lesson. If she had shown gratitude for the efforts and skills of the other staff, they all could have enjoyed the benefits of surpassing goals, but Marthea was more interested in her own success. Her goal was to prove to everyone that she could do it all and she could do it best.

Some might say that Marthea knows how to bring in the big bucks, but she doesn’t know how to stay in her lane. She could have been greatly helped by the other staff if she understood more about staying true to your purpose. Recognizing and being committed to God’s purpose for putting us on this earth will squash arrogance, keep us humble before Him, and reroute our motives to follow the direction of His Will.

In the Old Testament, God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. This piece of knowledge should be very organic to our thinking, but it isn’t. God reassured His people living during Old Testament times that He is the One with the plan, not them and not us. God knows His own mind. He knows His own perfection, brilliance, and majesty. He’s sovereign, and He alone deserves all praise and glory. He knows…and that’s all that is necessary for our full confidence in the future. He knows; therefore, we can be confident in His plan and purpose for our lives.

We are driven by a desire for success in various areas and at various stages of our lives. This is very natural, but at some point, we must make a shift. Every individual with a sound mind reaches a pivotal point in their lives. It’s a place where nothing turns out the way we expect, and nothing we do seems to help. We’ll have to decide whether our aims are based on superficial motives and gains, or if there is more to life than chasing something that isn’t real.

When we get to this point in life, deep inside we know that our search is about a sense of personal fulfillment and purpose. All of us have this, but we must stop wasting our time and energies on pursuits that have nothing to do with our purpose for being on this planet. The thing that is missing in our lives is a lack of knowledge about the purpose God has for us. Colossians 1:16(ESV) states, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” No matter how old we are, all of us are children. Children of God is what we were created to be. We do not belong to ourselves, we belong to God, and He sets the boundaries of our existences. He created all things, and all things were created for Him. This is the most prominent aspect of our purpose. Our purpose belongs to God, and He has strategically positioned us right where we are to carry it out.

2Timothy 1:9(AMP) states, “for He delivered us and saved us and called us with a holy calling [a calling that leads to a consecrated life—a life set apart—a life of purpose], not because of our works [or because of any personal merit—we could do nothing to earn this], but because of His own purpose and grace [His amazing, undeserved favor] which was granted to us in Christ Jesus before the world began [eternal ages ago],” We are purposed to keep and follow the example of Jesus Christ, and we are called to carry forth the work that he began. So, our purpose is about walking with God, hearing His instruction and carrying it through. Our purpose is to do whatever the Lord tells us to do; it is to do His Will.

It’s specific in that no one can do what you do the way that you do it. God has woven within your DNA all that is necessary for the purpose He has set for your life. You already have the skill, gift, and abilities, to do all that He requires. You simply must have faith, and this requires you to humble yourself before God in obedience so that you can hear and recognize His voice.

We should be ever so thankful to God that He called us and chose us through Jesus Christ. We are to live, give, and love just the way Jesus did when he walked upon this earth. He totally submitted himself to the Father’s Will and Word, and we must do the same.

Walking in God’s purpose is never about the “ME” and always about the “WE”. His purpose considers what is best for everyone involved. We must remain compassionate, loving, and kind so that we invite His presence and strength into every situation. Walking in God’s purpose makes us a blessing in the lives of others. Pursuing it demonstrates our desire and commitment to please Him with our whole lives. When this is our focus, we can’t help but to grow closer to our Heavenly Father. There’s nothing in life that compares to the intimacy we share with Him, and nothing makes life sweeter than the validation we receive when we remain on the path of His purpose. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Walking in Your Purpose”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Iron Sharpens Iron

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Life is all about relationships. God has set up all relationships as an instrument to strengthen our relationship with Him, and as we are strengthened, comforted, and encouraged by Him, we can then bless others through Jesus Christ. We are to become established and saturated in His love for us and our love for Him. Then all our other relationships will be birthed from the overflow of our fellowship and communion with God. He tells us in Proverbs 27:17(NLT), “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” In this verse, God is letting us know the benefits and requirements of a quality friendship. Friends are supposed to help each other remain spiritually sharp so that they are prepared and seasoned for the work of God’s Kingdom.

Rubble strips are a road safety feature. They help to alert drivers when they’re inattentive to potential dangers. These strips in the road cause the vehicle to vibrate, and this makes an audible noise that is intended to wake up an individual if they fall asleep at the wheel. Well, when it comes to the life that God has called us to live in Christ, we sometimes fall asleep at the wheel as well. In other words, we allow ourselves to lose focus when it comes to our relationship with God, and this puts us in a vulnerable position. It’s just the opportunity that the devil waits for.

1Thessalonians 5:6(NLT) states, “So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded.” Our relationship with our Heavenly Father is the glue that holds our lives together. When we allow our attentiveness to slip, our minds can revert to old and negative ways of thinking, and not only this, we don’t guard our hearts as effectively as we should. A good friend will speak the truth of God’s wisdom and shake us out of this apathy and wrong thinking. They will remind us of God’s goodness and encourage us in the faith so we can wake up and snap out of unproductiveness.

The corrective wisdom and encouragement that a friend provides is not always easy to hear. Sometimes it’s strong medicine and we desperately need it. Most of us want to hear flowery words that compliment us even when we’ve not presented our best efforts, but this kind of flowery talk is seldom helpful. A true friend will speak the truth to us, and they will not heap unwarranted praise on their friends. When a friend has a habit of giving constructive criticism and genuine praise, you trust their honesty and count on it. Again, they tell the truth, and this helps to deepen trust in one another.

The psalmist prayed in Psalm 119:133(NLT), “Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by evil.” This should be the prayer of every believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. God’s Word orders our steps according to His Will for our lives. Friends can help us stay on that narrow path, and it’s not necessary for them to be contentious or harsh in any way. As good friends to one another, it’s our privilege and responsibility to speak the truth in love. God commands us in Ephesians 4:22(NLT) to “be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” This is the Will of the Father, and we must love others this way in all our relationships. If we do, we will be a treasured friend that is spiritually sharp and eager to always please God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Iron Sharpens Iron”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Don’t Let the Pain Turn You Away from God

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John 14:1(NLT)
“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.”


Monica handles pressure well, she has to. She’s a single parent with two children, and one has autism. Four months ago, she moved two hours away from her family and friends to get away from an abusive relationship. Brady was so loving and tender with her and the kids in the beginning. He was especially good with Jason. His younger brother has autism, so having Brady’s help had made a big difference in their lives. After a few months though, she noticed that his drinking was much more than casual. He’d get drunk on the weekends, and at first, it was just the verbal abuse, but then turned physical when she’d confront him about the drinking.

When she and the boys moved, she found it more challenging than she had expected. She missed Brady and hated what alcohol had done to him and to their relationship, but she couldn’t allow him to come back into their lives. It was too painful. They needed this fresh start, and she was back to juggling a million things on her own, but she felt different. This time she was really struggling to hold it together, and she wondered if she was finally at her breaking point.

In Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), Jesus Christ instructs us to, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Most of us know that he wants us to come to him with all our troubles and pray for his help and guidance, but sometimes we see our problems bigger than we see his willingness and ability to help us.

Monica was angry with herself for getting involved with Brady and allowing him to be such a big part of her kid’s life. She felt she should have been more careful. On the other hand, the first few months of their relationship was one of the best times of her life. He was everything she wanted a man to be. Still shocked at how quickly things went downhill, she wondered if she’d ever be able to trust anyone again. She decided to put all her feelings and emotions on the backburner and just plow ahead, taking care of her kids and doing what she had to in order to make their lives work. The problem is that bouts of sadness were more frequent, and harder to ignore.

In 1Thessalonians 5:17(NLT), God commands us to “Pray without ceasing.” He knows we have responsibilities at home and at work. He knows we have obligations that must be tended to, so He doesn’t mean that we should be praying repeatedly and continually, 24/7. He means that a large part of our spare time should be spent in prayer to Him in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Philippians 2:10-11(NLT) tells us, “10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” And Jesus Christ tells us in John 14:13-14(NLT), “13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!”

We make mistakes and errors in judgment, and we sometimes end up in a lot of emotional pain, but we must not allow it to turn us away from God. He is faithful to help us. He tells us to trust in Him, and when we trust in Him, we can rest in Him. This means that we will need to give ourselves the pleasure and privilege of getting to know God on a greater level. Romans 10:17(NKJV) tells us, “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Our faith is increased when we hear and learn more about God through His Word. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to keep guard over our hearts because the heart is the place where all the issues of life are determined. If we study and read God’s Word, it will shield our minds and hearts from chaos and confusion and give us God’s peace.

God is the answer to all our problems, no matter how hurtful or complex they may be. He wants a close relationship with us, and He wants to be a part of every aspect of our existences, but we have to do the things He has told us to do. We must invite Him into our situations and circumstances by praying often, reading and studying His Word, and by having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The source of our strength, peace, joy, and power is in God. When we turn away from our pain and run into His arms with all that we are, He will not disappoint us. The Lord will comfort us with His love and heal our hearts as we seek to grow closer to Him. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Let the Pain Turn You Away from God”, written by Kim for https://rescuefromdomesticviolence.blogspot.com© 2021. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Is a Flaw Keeping Your Blessing Hostage?

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Aisha grew up in New Jersey, with three brothers.  Even though she’s the oldest, her younger brothers were always very protective, and they still are today. She’s 43, has never been married, and has been in and out of relationships most of her adult life. She wants a man that makes her feel as protected as she’s always felt with her brothers, but inevitably, she ends up being disappointed. In her view, the men she’s dated haven’t been able to live up to this standard. She swore off dating for a while but is now open to it again. I had a conversation with her a little while ago. She had met someone new at her job and they went out on a date. She told me she experienced a really awkward moment on the date when he asked her a question. She really struggled to answer it and was embarrassed about it. He wanted to know, “What is a beautiful woman like yourself still doing single?”

Driving home that night, all Aisha could think about was why she had such difficulty answering this question. In her conversations with girlfriends, she had been accustomed to blaming character flaws in the men for her past failed relationships, but there was something about the manner in which this man asked the question that left no room for blame. She would have to look within for answers, and this was something she hadn’t done to any great degree before.

Aisha is undeniably a beautiful woman, but her manner at times can be likened to putting a bull in a china cabinet. She has a negative filter when it comes to a lot of things, and she views many people and situations through a very critical lens. Things that would be better left unsaid, she says them; and her criticisms are almost never tempered with love. The thing is, she doesn’t put herself through this same scrutiny.

All of us have flaws, but we can’t afford to use this as an excuse. There are certain flaws that impede our destinies, cause us to walk outside our purpose, and they cause us to miss out on the blessings God has stored up for us. Ultimately, these particular flaws take us so far outside the Will of God that they harm our relationship with Him severely. These are the flaws and weaknesses that we’re in the earth to address. They spawn the lessons that continue to cycle back until we either learn them or die. Arrogance will always keep us blind to this, but through humility, God will give us the grace to see it.

Romans 10:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “9 If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.”  Believing in our hearts and confessing with our mouths are required for the new birth reality. It is the only way to receive salvation. God makes it clear that it is the heart that makes the difference, for this is where love abides. We must swap out the heart that causes harsh judgement and undue criticism against others and exchange it for a heart that welcomes kindness and compassion.

Ephesians 5:25 tells us that God’s standard is that a man loves his wife just as Christ loves the church. Christ loved the church so much that he offered up his life for her. This allows us to know beyond a shadow of doubt that truly a man can love a woman this way, because God has told us it is so. The question for the woman is whether her heart draws this level of love. It will be challenging to do so if her heart is filled with remnants of fear and darkness.

Demonstrating the love of God must be at the top of our agenda in life and in relationships. Once we are anchored in it, this love then becomes actively engaged as we give it out, but you can’t give something you haven’t practiced within yourself. When Aisha was asked why she’s still single, she came up with, “I’ve been patiently waiting for the right fit.” It sounds good, but it didn’t feel authentic to her soul, and she couldn’t hide it. She very much wants things to work out with the man who asked the question. So, she has begun to confront some things that she has hidden behind for many years.

God doesn’t want us running away from the truth ever. And the truth is that, to the extent a flaw keeps our blessing hostage, we must confront it and do the work to get it handled. It can be very uncomfortable, there’s no mistake about this. Aisha must learn to lean on God for her protection, and not look to a man to be something more than what he is. God will often work through the man, but all protection comes from Heavenly Father, and we should never think anyone can do it better than Him. There must be room in our hearts to accept that the right fit for us may not be strong in all the areas we expect, but they will help to build us up as we seek to fulfill the purpose to which we are called.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Is a Flaw Keeping Your Blessing Hostage?”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!