God’s Love Doesn’t Hurt

Posted on December 19, 2017 by daaorg1214

A very good friend of mine has recently endured a tremendous amount of turmoil by the person she was in love with. Because his intention was to injure her at all costs, she feels completely broken, bewildered, afraid, and alone. This is truly not the way God wants His sons and daughters to live. He sent His only begotten Son to set us free, and a life of liberty is our right through the Lord Jesus Christ. God wants the best for us, and it isn’t His will that we’re punished by anyone. He doesn’t want us suffering any kind of abuse; emotional, mental, verbal, or physical. Love does not abuse.

1John 4:8(NLT) tells us, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Our Heavenly Father is the definitive authority on love because He IS love. He knows how love should feel and what it can do. There’s no greater power in the earth than His love. He tells us in 1Corinthians 13 that we can know all His secrets and mysteries, but if we don’t have His love in our hearts, we won’t amount to anything. This is all we need to know about how important love is. It’s the way God intended life to be lived. We’re His kids, and He wants us to love others the way that He loves us.

God informs us so much about His love in His Word because He doesn’t want us to be ignorant about it. John 10:10 makes it clear that we have an enemy, the devil, and he is a thief, murderer, deceiver, and destroyer. Subtle deception is one of the tools in his arsenal; he’s a counterfeiter, adept at tricking us into believing that something false is the real thing. This happens quite a bit in our love relationships. It’s natural to want to give love and receive it in return. Sometimes we allow this need to be fed by a person that can’t reciprocate love in a healthy way. We make this mistake because we haven’t learned enough about God’s love from His Word. We haven’t made His standard the one by which we recognize and understand love.

My friend says that she will never love again, but it isn’t clear that what she felt for her abuser was indeed love, at least not the kind that comes from Heavenly Father. 1Thessalonians 5:5 (NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” God’s love brings us into the light, so that we are not bamboozled by the enemy. His love opens our eyes to what real and true love is.

When we learn to love God’s way, we don’t have to be afraid of loving anyone, because 1John 4:18 tells us that God’s love will cast out fear. We begin to walk in the rich truth of this verse as we study and meditate on God’s Word. The more we know about His love, the more the indwelling Holy Spirit will help us to mature and grow into the people that God wants us to be. The Holy Spirit does this work within us as we commit ourselves to love God’s way.

1Corinthians 13:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” Love does not hurt. It encourages, inspires and motivates the giver and the receiver to love more. This is what we should learn from the example of Jesus Christ. Through his life, ministry, and sacrifice, we see the Father’s heart. He wants us to know that there’s a difference between love and fear, so that we can choose to give and receive His brand of love and walk in the freedom and wisdom that it brings. ■

Come into the Light

Posted on December 12, 2017 by daaorg1214

Someone once said to me that the older you get, the more you learn how much you don’t know. I agree wholeheartedly, and think this is particularly true when it comes to how we view our own selves. We think we know ourselves so well, but there are situations that catch us off guard. They can cause us to behave and respond completely out of character. So much so that we question what we’re made of. We might even begin to doubt our abilities and decisions, and allow fear to creep into our hearts. This happens quite often in relationships. We become involved with someone that hurts us to the core, and we vow that we will never allow ourselves to be hurt that way again. This seems like an approach that represents strength, but not exactly.

Bad breakups or abusive relationships can cause us to wall ourselves off. We do this sometimes without giving ourselves the opportunity to figure some things out. God has created us to be instinctual, empathetic, and intelligent beings. When we get hurt, through the Spirit within, He will bring us to a place of healing and wholeness, but we don’t get to sit down on this one. Our engagement in the healing process is crucial. God tells us in Ephesians 5:8 (NKJV), “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” To walk in the light is a choice to exercise the energy and action to do so. The light of Christ is inside of us, so we’re not walking alone. He is with us every moment of every day. We were once in the dark, but through Christ we have a way to enter the light.

Philippians 2:12 tells us to work out our salvation with reverence and respect. When we gave our lives to the Lord and made him the head of them, we were born-again spiritually. Our human-spirits were recreated in Christ Jesus, and they became brand new. Our souls, on the other hand, were not made brand new. In Ephesians 4:23, God makes it clear that changing the way we think, speak, and behave is required, and it’s totally our responsibility. He will not overstep our free-will. God will not start throwing all the bad stuff out without our permission, and the Holy Spirit that lives within us will not make our hearts and minds automatically virtuous. It is a relationship. This means it’s a hand-in-hand walk that God is looking to establish with us. It is a step by step journey in which Christ leads us by the hand as we allow him to guide us into the light of healing. It’s a faith walk!

So no. The Holy Spirit doesn’t come into the inner sanctum of our beings and start shoving all the bad stuff out. If we’ve got some funkiness going on—if we’ve got some junk in our trunks, it’s our responsibility to do some housekeeping. This kind of soul-work is sometimes uncomfortable, but it is very necessary, and Heavenly Father has equipped us to get it done. God’s healing plan is one that involves acknowledgment, repentance, forgiveness, and release. If we cheat ourselves out of any one of these, our deliverance may be slow and more uncomfortable than it needs to be. However, please know, that repentance is not a negotiable step. It cannot ever be missed; not in our healing, and not in our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ.

When a child feels pain, the first question out of the parent’s mouth is “where does it hurt?” As we get older, we should be able to recognize pain with greater specificity, and deal with it with more maturity. We’re not perfect at it, but we are much more capable of helping ourselves in the process of healing than we believe.

In Ephesians 6:11(NLT), God tells us, “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” This isn’t a suggestion. God told us to put on all of His armor because we desperately need it. The enemy’s strategy is to keep us weighted down with the emotional heaviness that comes from fear and doubt. Making a person doubt themselves and feel insecure all the time is the devil’s specialty. One of the most common ways that we give in to this tactic is to hide behind our pain; to not confront it with the light of Christ. Instead, we cover it up with all kinds of behaviors and attitudes, some of them extremely negative and harmful.

God’s way is to invite us into the light of Christ, where clarity and goodness exists. Romans 8:38 says that nothing can separate us from God’s love. This is such an overwhelmingly comforting and healing Word from the Father’s heart. Nothing can separate us from His love; not pain, not shame, not insecurity or doubt. So, we don’t have to be afraid to look beneath the hood of all those layers that have plagued us for years. If we ask him, Christ will lead us through them, his love lighting the way every step. He has made us this promise, and he will always keep it. ■

The Basics of Life-101

Posted on December 5, 2017 by daaorg1214

Ephesians 2:10(NLT) is one of my all-time favorite verses in the bible. It says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” For individuals with pretty good self-esteem, this verse might not resonate as deeply for them as it does for me. Don’t get me wrong, growing up I had a lot of love in my life, I just didn’t learn to channel it into loving myself. Instead, I felt like one big mistake waiting to happen, and disappointment seemed to be my constant companion. I never believed that anything wonderful would happen for me, and I spent a good deal of time expecting the worse. To say that viewing myself as a masterpiece was a stretch is putting it mildly.

One day, someone told me that I needed to see myself the way that God sees me. I’d like to say that this statement was the epiphany of all epiphanies, and that a lightbulb lit up in my head, but I wouldn’t be telling the truth. I heard the words. They lightly landed on my consciousness; then I dismissed them and moved on in my usual camouflaged, yet predictable gloominess. But you see, that’s the thing about the Word of God. Its truth is so massive, that sometimes we can only take the impact in small doses.

In Isaiah 55:11 (NLT), God tells us, “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” So while I was struggling, trying to find my way, the Word of God that I had heard was working on my heart bit by bit. Heavenly Father had a plan for my life, just as He has one for yours. The Holy Spirit helped me to create a space in my mind and heart to begin to believe that God would work through me to accomplish His purpose.

God’s plan is the foundation of all things. We don’t see this when we’re licking our wounds, and trying to figure out how to press our own agendas forward. We all want things to work out, but we look at everything in our worlds, and sometimes it all seems like mush; nothing is as it should be. The wisdom of Proverbs 19:21 (NLT) teaches us, “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” Nothing is more important than God’s plan; this is ‘The Basics of LIFE-101.’ It is an unyielding and inflexible reality, and if we try to go against it, we’re going to come out with the short end of the stick. This is why Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God first, because seeking Him first guarantees a blessed outcome.

Some people have a vision of God sitting in heaven, waiting to put the hammer down when anyone violates His laws. God’s Word is the preeminent authority. John 1:1(NLT) tells us, “In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Through the Lord Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father set things in motion through His Word a very long time ago. He spoke, and the universe obeyed. He created it, put it in perfect working order, and then rested. There’s nothing more to be done. His Word works with a mathematical precision. He has orchestrated the universe in such a way that it works with us when we work with it. When we obey and honor God’s Word, harmony is achieved. He set up the system to respond beautifully to our obedience.

And He doesn’t hit us over the head with it. Life does this on ‘automatic.’ After a pat, a thump, and then finally a knock upside the head from the situations of life; some of us will realize that our circumstances are broadcasting a message, and we need to wake up before it’s too late. That’s what happened to me. I knew deep in my gut that I was out of place. Every day felt like an out-of-body experience, like someone else was living my life, because it wasn’t the life I was supposed to live. It wasn’t the way destiny feels.

Life’s lessons are on repeat. If we don’t learn them, they continue cycling back around until we do. One of the most obvious and consequential of those lessons is how important we are to God, and how important it is that we get into position and begin to play our parts in His plan. He tells us in Romans 8:28 (NLT), “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Nothing about us is random. We’re uniquely created by Him, and we have a purpose—a calling to fulfill. It is so rewarding to watch our lives come together when we finally get a clue that God is waking us up so we can get on board with His agenda.■

Making A Change

Posted on November 28, 2017 by daaorg1214

When is it convenient to make a change? Most of us would answer “Never!” But a fact of life is that nothing stays the same. Many of us are seemingly deluged with an avalanche of problems. One of the reasons for this is that the engine of life moves vigorously forward, but we get stuck in neutral. It’s why the word ‘destiny’ is such an important one. Change for change’s sake may bring about some positive things, but change for the sake of walking in one’s destiny is literally altering the trajectory of a person’s life. God has planted the wake-up calls for this kind of change in our everyday lives. We need to make sure that our eyes are wide open so that we don’t miss them.

When it comes to making a change in our personal lives, there are two primary areas that are involved, our mindset and actions. We have a way of thinking that we’ve cultivated over our lifetimes, so our thoughts stem from a mindset developed through experiences and influences that have impacted us. If we’re keeping it real with ourselves, some of this is faulty programming. It leads to making poor decisions, wrong choices, and bad judgement calls. It isn’t always easy to admit this, but there can be no growth without an acknowledgement of error, and a desire to become better and stronger individuals.

1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” Darkness is synonymous with ignorance, and ignorance is not God’s Will for His kids. Many times, in His Word He makes it plain that He doesn’t want His people to be ignorant, and in Hosea 4:6, He tells us the reason why. He said that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. Many of us are asleep, and the devil will try to keep us this way. He doesn’t want us to be awaken to the enlightenment of Christ, because when we are, the lights come on and we begin to understand who God has made us. That’s when we really become dynamos for God’s Kingdom, and the enemy wants to stop this at all costs.

Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Ephesians 4:22(NIV), “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;” This is how we embrace the person that God wants us to be. We have to take off some old stuff and make room, so that we can put on the new and better stuff. This is the process of an elevated life. We can’t be the same people we were two years ago, two months ago, or two weeks ago. We’re to always grow and abound in Christ. This means that there are going to be those lightbulb moments when we realize that we’ve got some junk in our trunks, and we need to deal with it because it’s weighing us down and keeping us from the blessings God wants us to have.

You may not realize the things that you need to change, but the Holy Spirit is God’s gift living on the inside of you; he knows exactly what you need to change. You see, when we become stuck in the same routine, the same toxic relationships, the same drama, the same set of circumstances day in and day out, our vision becomes very limited. In a way, we are blinded by sameness, and we begin to think and act based on our limited view. Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) tells us “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” If we think about life without the benefit of believing in destiny and newness, we begin to draw to us the things we don’t want instead of what we want.

Many of us bypass the astounding wisdom revealed by Heavenly Father in Proverbs 23:7, but that is a big mistake. Heavenly Father created us in His own image. He is a creative God and we are a creative people. He has given us the incredible gift to change our circumstances by changing the way that we think and act. We’re not going to change every negative thing about ourselves in our lifetimes, but to the extent that we are not fulfilling our destinies in Christ and not accessing the life God intends for us, we need to draw closer to Him and make ‘change’ one our new best friends. Again, we may not know what we need to change about ourselves. We may not know what is blocking us from moving forward and going higher in Christ, but God knows, and if we’ll ask, He’ll tell us. ■

Denying the Truth

Posted on November 21, 2017 by daaorg1214

Much of domestic violence and abuse is about manipulation. The definition of manipulation is trying to control someone in an unscrupulous or unfair way, and those who practice it will often deny that they’re doing it. There’s hardly anything more exasperating than to believe in your own innocence only to have it turned completely in the wrong direction by someone. It is especially hurtful when that person knows full well that your intentions were in the right place, but makes a sport of trying to make you out to be the bad guy. If you’re dealing with someone like that, no matter what you do, you’re always wrong in their eyes, it can be an exhausting way to live.

The truth and a lie do not hold the same authority, no matter how much people try to make it appear as though they do. Someone once said that there are two types of people, those who seek the truth, and those who seek to cover it up. Personally speaking, I think that most folks can only take the truth in small doses, and when overload threatens them, sometimes they completely lose it. They might even try to harm the person that forces them to look truth in the face.

A strange phenomenon can happen when your strength speaks to a person’s weakness. It can be like holding a mirror up for them, and this mirror reflects what they fear the most. Instead of dealing with themselves honestly, they might choose to blame or belittle you for simply standing in your own strength. If no one has told you how strong you are, you might assume that you’re the one that is weak, and the person who manipulates the truth is the strong one. This is the wickedness of abuse, because at its root is the plot to swap truth for terror.

In John 14:1(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” This is a verse of tremendous comfort. The key to keeping our hearts from being troubled is to trust in God and trust in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Those of us that have experienced domestic violence and abuse know that a civil conversation can turn into a heated argument very quickly. The back and forth can be endless. This is why it is important for us to trust in the truth that is in Christ.

Some of us desperately want to be loved, and we will exhaust an enormous amount of energy trying to change a person’s perception of us. This is a battle already fought and won. In John 14:6, Jesus Christ tells us, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” If a person doesn’t understand how incredibly loving, powerful, and strong Jesus Christ is, then they may not comprehend the heft of John 14:6, but if you truly believe in Christ, then you’ll understand that the way has already been made, and through him, we can know the truth. In John 8:32, he tells us that this is what makes us free, it’s knowing the truth of who Christ is. When we know who he is, we then know who we are.

If the color blue is staring a person in the face, and they refuse to call it any other thing but red, convincing them they’re seeing the color blue can be a very difficult and unproductive challenge. Having someone hurt you so deeply and then deny your pain or that they caused it can drive you crazy, and make you question your worth. This is the devil’s trick to undermine your relationship with God. It is to shut you down, so that you do not become anchored and embedded in who you are in Christ.

God warns us through the Apostle John in 1 John 2:26-27The Message (MSG), “I’ve written to warn you about those who are trying to deceive you. But they’re no match for what is embedded deeply within you—Christ’s anointing, no less! You don’t need any of their so-called teaching. Christ’s anointing teaches you the truth on everything you need to know about yourself and him, uncontaminated by a single lie. Live deeply in what you were taught.” Through Christ, the truth lives in you. Live deeply in it! Seek to grow in the strength he provides, and the truth that you are a child of God, baptized in His love, and poised for His purpose will not be denied. ■

A Sad Smile

Posted on November 7, 2017 by daaorg1214

Some Christian folk have this thing where they don’t want anyone to see them unhappy. We’ve bought into the persona that we’re not supposed to have problems or issues. We walk around all day long telling folks, “I’m blessed!” as if everything in our worlds is peachy, when actually we really don’t feel all that great. Many of us have a sad smile on our faces, and we’re not as good at pretending as we think we are. Any person that is empathetic and compassionate can pick up when someone is hurting. So we’re not fooling nearly as many people as we think, and we need to stop trying to fool ourselves.

Psalm 37:4 (NKJV) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This is a beautiful verse that tells us to find comfort and delight in God’s beauty, bounty, and blessing. John 10:10 is probably on everyone’s favorite scripture list. In this verse, Jesus tells us that he came to the earth to make available a more than abundant life. Most of us would be satisfied if we hit the abundant mark, but God wants us to have a life that is more than abundant. That’s amazing! Another piece of yumminess is in Mark 9:23, where our blessed Lord tells us that if we can believe, all things are possible to the person who believes. This is over the top!

Considering the smorgasbord of blessings that God has provided, we can certainly see how the expectation of the always happy Christian came to be, but the truth is that many of us are not skipping through fields of daisies with blissful delight; not even close. For some, putting on a happy face and pretending is as close as they’ve come to the real thing, but it doesn’t have to be that way. One truth that shouldn’t be lost on any of us is that it’s important to God for us to know His desire. We may not be as happy as all get out, but He wants us to be confident that it’s certainly His Will and desire that we get there.

The feeling of happiness is something that we associate with conditions and circumstances. If everything in our world is going good, we tend to be happy, but when things turn sour, many of us will begin to think sour thoughts and express sour feelings. God’s Will is that nothing controls us to the degree that we lose sight of who we are and why we’re here. In Colossians 2:7, Heavenly Father tells us that His plan is that our roots are firmly planted in Christ, so that we are not tossed about by all the distractions the devil throws our way. He tells us, “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”

God wants us to be anchored in Jesus Christ, so that we are living in the Spirit of who he is. Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God. He’s the Word made flesh, and his love is so extraordinary because he took on all of our sin and gave his life for us. He said in John 15:13 (NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” If our gratitude and understanding of what Christ has done for us through his love is on a surface level, our roots are not yet as deep as they should and can be. We need to be filled with something that only God in Christ can supply.

If we have even a hint of an inkling that our smiles are sad, we can pray and ask God to fill us with joy on the inside. Only the Lord can give us a smile that is real and filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 tells us that our prayer should be that God, the Source of hope, will fill us utterly and completely with a joy and peace that the world can’t give and the world can’t take away. All we need to do is trust in God’s love. When we trust Him, we’ll overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

In Ephesians 3:14-19 The Message (MSG), the Apostle Paul gives us the perfect blueprint for how to respond to God’s goodness and turn our sad smiles into joyful ones. He said, “My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”■

What Happened to That Person?

Posted on October 31, 2017 by daaorg1214

For as long as I could remember, I had been in love with Damon Kent. My family moved away for a few years from the town where I grew up. During that time, I changed of course and matured into a sixteen-year-old girl who could pass for a twenty-year old young woman with no problem. My foray into big city life had afforded me a new-found confidence, so the summer I returned to my hometown, I called Damon. It was a wildly bold move for me, but my time away had not been the most positive experience. I was hoping Damon would turn into my prince, that he would rescue me from the disappointments that came with maturing way ahead of most of my peers.

Damon and I talked the entire summer vacation. We had long conversations on the phone and my crush intensified. After returning from a place where I had no friends, was ridiculed constantly for my accent, and had to wear my mother’s clothes because nothing in the teen section would fit, I needed the ray of hope he offered. There was only one problem, my imagination was larger than life. I was never satisfied with just a little; I always had to take it to the nth degree, and nothing short of this would quench my hunger for the grandiose and extreme.

I imagined Damon and I walking to classes holding hands, stealing a kiss after study hall, and getting engaged in college. Oh yeah, I took it there and beyond, even though we hadn’t seen each other in four years. Finally, the day arrived. I, not having my license yet, would be taxied to high school to register for classes. Damon was attending band camp at school, and we planned to meet up. Butterflies couldn’t touch the huge pigeons flying around in my gut. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I tried to look my best, and felt confident that I did, but it was no match for the fact that I had grown over a foot taller than Damon. When he and his friends spotted me, they behaved like ten-year-old boys. I pretended not to see them, and soldiered on as I had always done.

He had been so incredibly kind and tender over the summer. “What happened to that person?” I thought. This is a question that seemed to plague many of my relationships, and countless others have asked it regarding those that have hurt and betrayed them as well.

I love the saying “go big or go home!” And one of my scripture favs is Ephesians 3:20 (NKJV), “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” The wonderful truth that God ‘goes big’ when it comes to blessing us floods my heart with joy. Even at some of the worse times of my life, I’ve always known that God wanted the best for me and that more out of life was available, but oddly enough, I looked to others to fill my cup instead of Him.

As the desire to partner took center-stage in my life, my big imagination gobbled up the individuals I dated. It was no way that they could meet those expectations, but I had a huge hole in my soul. I imagined that my love would be reciprocated from the object of my affection in such enormous proportions that it would fill me up and then some.

I needed to be loved, but I had not seen another person give the kind of love that I craved. I couldn’t even figure out how to love ME, with all my awkwardness and quirks. How was it that I expected someone to do for me what I couldn’t do for myself? It was a tough question, and 2Peter 2:9 has the answer. It tells us that the Lord knows how to rescue us from our trials. It finally dawned on me that I had been looking for love in all the wrong places. I needed to grow in the love of Christ, and at first it wasn’t so much about how I loved other people. It was about me allowing the roots of his love to grow down in my empty places. I had to trust that he loved me more than I could ever know. I encountered God’s love, strength and power in a way that anchored me as I had never been in my life.

God’s perfect love is the greatest reality of all eternity. Heavenly Father loved me to deliverance, and then healed my broken heart. My work continues to be one of surrendering my need to control how I’m loved by others, and I find that the more I release my need to control, the more my heart swells with gratitude and love for Christ. People will sometimes turn on us, for seemingly no apparent reason. When this happens, we have to remember that our identities are not shaped by what they give us, but by how we love them and ourselves through Christ. In John 15:9-13 The Message (MSG), He tells us, “9-10 I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love. 11-13 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.”■

What’s In Your Heart?

Posted on October 24, 2017 by daaorg1214

I remember the first time I realized that my actions had caused someone important to me to experience feelings of deep hurt. It was a few months after the incident oddly enough. In the moment it occurred, I was very matter of fact about the harsh words that effortlessly spewed from my lips. I rationalized that I had spoken my truth and the person deserved to be put in their place. This woman considered herself to be a close friend of mine. It didn’t bother me one bit that she would no longer look upon me as the nice person she thought she knew. I didn’t have a filter, and for some reason my emotional register was low on empathy, especially when it came to certain unwise choices and actions that others had made.

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) gives us the mind-and-heart-set that God expects from His children. It says, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving is a beautiful thing, but even though we might have been born-again for years, some Christians haven’t quite hit the mark on these, and I was certainly in that group. Deep down, I carried anger in my heart. I was angry because people had let me down considerably, including the men I had dated. And to be quite honest, I was a little angry at God as well. I didn’t understand why so much had happened to me, and felt like He needed to cut me a break.

The anger, for the most part, wasn’t overt. It was cloaked in all the Christian niceties that are expected of us. I believed myself to be kind, sensitive, and compassionate, but there were certain areas where all that went out of the window. There were certain characteristics in a person that brought out the worst in me, and for a long time I refused to be held accountable for it.

Galatians 6:7 (NKJV) says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” In other words, if you put it out there, it’s coming back to you. We tend to learn this the hard way. I sowed seeds in the form of hurtful words, and when it came back to me, it did so with a vengeance.

One day, as I was going about my usual business, I overheard a conversation between what I presumed to be two friends; they were sitting at a table behind me as I was having lunch. Their conversation had been initially very jovial, but turned to a subject that should have been a very private matter. One of them made a joke about it, and became critical of the other. She didn’t stop, but seemed to get worse by the moment. I was drawn to listen because there was something oddly familiar about her tone. It slowly dawned on me that I was having a déjà vu moment, and I didn’t like the feeling at all. It was very disturbing. I found myself wanting the other person that was being spoken to in this manner to defend herself, to say something that would cut through the mocking and terribly insensitive words from her friend. I turned around, partly because I couldn’t believe my ears, and partly to make an attempt to show a face of solidarity for someone being treated poorly.

I saw the face of the woman who had sat silently, and the hurt was evident. It reminded me of someone that has grown used to harsh words being spoken to them, and just shuts down when it happens. I got up to leave, and that’s when I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit say, “This is what you did to Linda.” It felt like I was moving in slow motion when the Spirit’s words hit my consciousness. I got weak in my knees and could hardly stand. The fact that I had injured someone in the way that this woman’s friend had injured her was too much. It pierced me like an arrow, and I cried violently all the way home, and all night long.

It wasn’t just that I had inflicted hurt on another person, but that I had felt no remorse for it. I had been arrogant and puffed up for a long time. I felt the eyes of Christ spotlighting my walk that day, and the remorse I experienced was exceedingly deep. I had been immune to my own propensity to act out of anger and resentment, to leave a trail of bitterness rather than love. I had let the Savior down. I repented of my sin, and he forgave me.

His forgiveness and my realization that I needed to repent were not surface level realities. Deep calls to deep. His forgiveness reaches deep into our hearts, and heals it, but not until we pave the way. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” This verse helps us to better comprehend the omnipotence and omniscience of Heavenly Father. He sees all and knows all. He holds us continually before His face, and He’s looking for those of us with a certain kind of heart.

None of us are perfect. We all have things about us that we need to work on. We’re works in-progress, being perfected in Christ day by day as we trust in him, but we must realize that sometimes things like anger, resentment, and arrogance linger in our hearts. We must have the courage to ask God to show us what lurks beneath the surface, so that we can bring it before Him and repent. He’s looking for a heart that is wanting and willing to empty itself of these remnants of fear, so that He can strengthen us as we remain committed to walk in His love. ■

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

A Little Piece Here and A Little Piece There

Posted on October 17, 2017 by daaorg1214

It is hard to say whether the cases of domestic violence are on the rise. Those that have been abused were silent about it for a long time, so it is possible that there have been more cases of abuse in the past than any of us will ever know. We have been keepers of the secret because we felt we had to be. Exposing the abuser was for many victims a case of life and death, so they continued to suffer silently, but things are changing. A current of unprecedented courage is rising because many are recognizing their strength and unity in numbers, but still so many are choosing to remain in abusive, unhealthy relationships, even when they have more options today than ever before.

God calls upon us to walk by faith and not by sight. One of the things that we have to believe in order to walk by faith is that we are never walking alone. God is with us every moment of every day. Hebrews 13:5-6 declares that He will never leave us or forsake us; He is our Helper. Romans 8:31 (NLT) asks, “If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” Who is mightier than God? Not one! So, the goal for those of us that are not quite there in terms of believing that God is fully in our corners is to work in the area of our faith. We need to grow in our trust in God, and we also need to learn to lean on Him totally.

There are many that will tell you that they believe and trust Him with their whole hearts, but the grip that fear has on them is evident in their existences. Fear robs us of energy, and one of the ways in which it does this is to prompt us to portion off ourselves. We do this so that we never have to confront the person—the real you—that is underneath the fear, because if that happens, something about the way we’re currently operating will have to change. Many of us are more afraid of change than we are of suffering. So, what ends up happening is that we give a whole lot to the person that is keeping us tied down and oppressed; we give a little to ourselves, and we give God the leftovers.

Heavenly Father is the One with the power. He’s the One with overwhelming love for us, and He’s the One that can heal our lives and cause us to remain in His everlasting peace, but somehow, we convince ourselves that someone else has more power than Him. Jesus Christ instructs us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Heavenly Father is holy, omnipotent, and magnificent! He can never, ever be in second place. Trying to put Him there is a strategy that will not work.

He tells us in Hebrews 11:6 that the way to please Him is to have faith. Every single person in the earth is a work in progress. We’re not perfect. We’re not going to get this thing right all the time, but God requires that we have a heart that is eager to please Him. Every day each of us has an opportunity to build our relationship with God and to grow closer to Him. He wants an intimate relationship with each of us. He gave His Son’s life for this to happen. If we’ll make a commitment to trust God more today than we did yesterday, we will be amazed at the difference it makes in our lives.

God tells us in Romans 6:16 (NLT), “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.” Heavenly Father doesn’t want you to be a slave to oppression and suffering. That’s not who He created you to be. He wants you to be whole, and to make you whole He wants all of you; not a little piece here and a little piece there. His plan is to transform us through and through into the person that He has destined us to become. Our faith is strengthened the moment we believe in His power—the moment we believe in His ability and willingness to transform our lives, and the moment we stop believing that anyone is more loving and powerful than He is.

The greatest option before us—the greatest choice before us—is to choose to trust God through Jesus Christ with all our hearts. Let Him help you bring all parts of yourself together in the splendor of what He wants you to be. You can begin this process by doing something to build your faith in Him every day. Read and study His Word more, pray more, and have conversations with Him, so that you begin to recognize His voice. If you’ll do this, your faith in Him will be enriched. Before you know it, you’ll be walking with courage in the freedom of His power, confident that you’re all you need to be, and more. ■

When A Dark Cloud Looms

Posted on October 11, 2017 by daaorg1214

Isaiah 26:3(NKJV) tells us, “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” This verse is packed full with luscious truth. Not only does our God offer us His perfect peace, but He will keep us anchored in it if we #1) stay our minds on Him, and #2) trust in His ability and willingness to bless us. It is important to also understand that perfect peace is peace that is perfect. Nothing in this world can keep God’s perfect peace from encompassing total and complete tranquility. It’s both inner and outward peace; it’s peace under any and every circumstance. It’s a peace that defies conditions, and through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, God offers His peace to us freely.

As we look at the condition of the world, with all its corruption and dishonesty, we meet people every day that are bewildered and disillusioned. Their state of mind is the exact opposite of peace. They are filled with anxiety and fear, and many of them are depressed. It’s as if they are living under a dark cloud that follows them everywhere. This is not the kind of life that God intended for His people. He wants us to be happy and blessed. In Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT), God tells us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

A dark cloud is an emotional state of being that causes a person to feel discouraged and hopeless. It makes you feel bad all the time. It weighs us down, and it can also cloud our judgement, and distort how we view ourselves and others. Many people feel that their conditions and circumstances are the driving force that keeps this cloud looming over their heads, but the Lord Jesus Christ gives us another way. His way will help us to dissipate this cloud into thin air.

In John 14:26-27, Jesus Christ tells us, “26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. 27 I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” We place a lot of pressure on ourselves to put on a happy face when deep down we feel like we’re drowning in sorrow. The reality is that you and I are sometimes unable to muster the courage to dissipate those dark clouds and stand strong amid all the strife and struggles of life. This is why Jesus Christ made the gift of Holy Spirit available to us.

Because of Christ, we have God’s Spirit dwelling on the inside of us. Galatians 5:16 tells us to walk by the Spirit, and then we won’t feed those things that pull us down. 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells us how to walk by the Spirit. It tells us to walk by faith, and not by sight. So, as spiritual children made in the image of our Heavenly Father, we must learn to walk in a way that isn’t dependent on what we can perceive with our emotions and five senses. God calls on us to walk by trusting Him, by believing what He says in His Word.

In Ephesians 4:23, God also tells us to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. To renew something is to make it new again. Our minds were not designed to be filled with darkness, but society bombards us with negative messages continually. You and I must combat this by flooding our thoughts and attitudes with the positives of God’s Word. To do this, we must read and study it as often as we can. This is what God created our minds for. He created them to hold the knowledge of Him and His Word. Our minds were created to be filled with light, this is what Ephesians 5:8 means when it tells us to “Walk as children of light”; this way our minds can match the reality of who and what we are in Christ!

God is not going to come inside our heads and empty out our bad thoughts and wipe the slate of our emotions clean. He has commanded us to trust Him, and to believe His Word regardless of what our conditions and circumstances look like. Faith wouldn’t be faith if it didn’t require us to trust in what we cannot see. The Spiritual realm is invisible to our physical eyes, yet, it is more real than what we can see. 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT) tells us, “So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

Faith requires that we shift our focus, so that our intention is on changing the negatives in our minds rather than allowing our emotions to dictate how we respond to life. God’s Word is powerful! Way more powerful than our emotions. Our belief in His promises and goodness should dictate how we feel and act. Our hearts and minds must line up with the thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is how we introduce his light! It’s not an arduous task, but a glorious one, because putting on the mind of Christ allows us to forever rest in God’s peace. In John 14:27, Jesus Christ tells us not to be afraid or troubled, because our God is all powerful, and He loves us. We are never defeated by our conditions and circumstances. When we truly trust our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, he will move those dark clouds, and his love will cover our lives with light. ■

Domestic Abuse Awareness.Org

Breaking the chains of domestic abuse through the power of Jesus Christ.

Tag Archives: Victims of Domestic Violence