Luke 12:6-7(NLT)
“6 What is the price of five sparrows–two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. 7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”

Pam and Jesse have been married for thirty-five years. They have three grown children and two grandchildren. While visiting her mother in Florida for a few days, she received a phone call that her husband had suddenly passed away of a heart attack. Not more than two months prior, they’d celebrated his sixtieth birthday. Pam initially froze from the shock of the news. She had just spoken with her husband that morning, and she just couldn’t process what had happened, but as the hours passed, something completely unexpected happened. Pam felt almost a sense of relief, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 

Jesse was a very intelligent and resourceful man. He was also proud, stubborn, unaffectionate, and always had to be right. An electrician by trade, he was masterful at repairing and building just about anything. He always wanted more out of life and resented his parents for not helping him go to college after high school to become an engineer. Throughout their marriage, he had taken the brunt of his disappointments and frustrations out on Pam. From the very beginning, he turned to alcohol to cope with stressful situations, but things got worse after the children were born. He was verbally and physically abusive, and his two sons grew up disliking their father because of it. Alcoholism and abuse had been the norm in their home, but for Jesse, marital counseling was out of the question, and so was divorce. Pam felt that she had spent the last thirty-five years holding her breath in the prison that Jesse had made for them all. When he died, she felt she was finally able to come up for air.

Ephesians 5:28-29(ESV) tells us, “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Jessie didn’t do a decent job of loving himself, so Pam really didn’t stand a chance. He couldn’t love Pam as the Word teaches in Ephesians 5:28-29, because he didn’t allow God’s Word and love to saturate his heart. He tried to mask his resentment and anger with alcohol, and after he turned 50, his body began to betray him with numerous health issues.

Pam said she blamed herself for not mustering up the courage to leave Jesse years ago, but she didn’t want her children to grow up without their father. She also didn’t think she could make it on her own. She was sometimes angry with God that things had turned out the way they did, but she hadn’t considered the reality that life is full of choices, and sometimes we repeatedly make the wrong ones. At fifty-seven, she’s beginning to understand that whether it’s when you’re twenty-five or fifty-five, life will push us all to confront how we see and value our own selves. 

2Timothy 1:7(NLT) tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” This is what we have received as God’s children! Through the Holy Spirit, we have received power, love, and self-discipline or self-control. We are empowered to live with authority and dominion over our own lives, but many of us are not taught the truth of 2Timothy 1:7. We make mistakes because of our insecurities and self-doubt, and the enemy continually hurls situations and circumstances that keep us down and separated from the mind and heart required to exercise power, love, and self-discipline.

Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 12:6-7 that God knows the number of hairs on our heads. He knows everything there is to know about us, and He also knows what He has given us. Ephesians 1:3(NLT) demonstrates God’s overwhelming generosity towards us. It says, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.” We are pressed down, shaken together, and packed to overflowing, and God tells us this in His Word. He wants us to know how richly He’s blessed us, and He leaves it totally to us to reach out and grab all that He’s provided.

God told His people in Isaiah 43:2(NLT), “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” He will do this and so much more for those who love and honor Him. Like many of us, it took Pam several years to recognize this. God had not let her down, because it is impossible for Him to disappoint us. He would not place us in a position where we have to wait until someone dies to experience His freedom. We can live in His peace and liberty this very moment if we will trust Him. He will bring us through the rivers of difficulty and not let us drown. We will witness this continually if we have faith in His strength, love, and power, and trust in all that He has given us in Christ.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “Through Rivers of Difficulty, God is With You”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Ecclesiastes 3:1(NLT)
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”

By God’s perfect and wondrous design, we know that just as there are seasons in weather, there are seasons in life. As expected, a new season will follow a passing season, and there is a continual rhythm to their coming and going. We all experience this world differently, with experiences and encounters as varied as the billions of individuals that inhabit this planet, but the one constant for all of us is that, like the seasons, life will change. Life is dynamic. It’s full of ups and downs, and of course, it’s full of surprises. Whether by choice or force, it will bring change front and center for our acceptance or rejection. We can be sure that if we reject it, that season will cycle back and do so with stronger winds and harsher storms, reminding us that it is better to greet change than to ignore it.

Frustration, disappointment, and a broken heart are just a few of the consequences that land in our laps because we’ve failed to recognize when it’s time to grow, change, and go higher. With our Great Big Wonderful God, there is never regression, but always progression and elevation. The past is something none of us can recapture. We can’t go back and relive one second of our pasts. By divine design, we can only move forward, and God reminds us of this in Isaiah 43:18-19(ESV) when He said, “18 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;”

In every season, our Heavenly Father demonstrates His unfailing love towards us. He is not a boring God as some believe. He is amazing beyond the definition of the word, and He is very happy being His extraordinarily omnipotent, omniscient, magnificent, loving, and gloriously holy self. He is love, and His delight is to share with us all that He is! This is the main objective of any change that life brings our way; to see God greater and to love greater through Him. We may not see it that way now, but if we patiently endure in the Lord, we most certainly will change our view on this matter.

1Corinthians 13:13(ESV) says, “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” Again, God is love, and as His children, He wants us to increase in His love continually. We cannot increase and expand our lives through pain, shame, bitterness, or regret. As we study His Word and pray often, we will grow in Christ by taking on his nature, and we will be able to love others with real love, the kind of love that truly ministers to their hearts. Jesus Christ tells us in Mark 12:30-31 that the greatest commandment is to love God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength, and the second is to love our brothers and sisters in Christ as ourselves. There are no greater commandments that these, and they are all about God’s love.

Loving God, others, and ourselves greater through the example of Jesus Christ is always the reason for the different seasons of life. I recently heard about a couple that didn’t consider this truth. They have been married twenty-three years, but their relationship has been starved of real love for so long that now they see each other only as roommates. Counseling is out of the question they feel, and they both believe that this new season is one of moving on and living different lives, but is it?

The only guarantees in life are God, His Word, and His love. So, whatever it is you’re going through, don’t hold on to the hurt, pain, and frustration. Instead, seek God and grow in His love. Nothing remains the same, and most of us recognize that seasons are temporary. So, a crisis of any kind is never permanent, but here’s the thing; many of us will make permanent decisions that change the situation without realizing that the season was meant to change us. Changing our hearts was the target and we miss this.

Genesis 8:22(NLT) tells us, “As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night.” Seasons are going to change. Summer, fall, winter, and spring will come and go, and no matter our age, we will face these seasons. Be determined that you will not miss what God has for you, and be ready to learn the lessons life brings, because they are always about His love. Remember that our powerful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is your foundation. He’s our solid Rock, and with him, you will always have the courage and faith to greet each season with His love and light.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 “There Is a Season for Everything”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

2Timothy 1:7(ESV)
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

Jeanene just found out that her teenage daughter’s boyfriend has been abusing her. She was fuming and could hardly talk from the anger she feels. Her daughter has somehow got it into her head that abusive behavior is okay. She sees her boyfriend’s outbursts and aggression as his passionate love for her, and she has refused to end the relationship. Jeanene is at her wit’s end. She doesn’t know what else to do, and she can’t figure out how her daughter who was ‘so smart and sweet’ is now sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night to meet this boy. He has a hold on her daughter like nothing she’s ever seen before, and Jeanene believes that if she pushes any further, she might lose her.

Some have labeled domestic violence as the quiet epidemic, because its victims are often silent and hidden behind a façade of normalcy. It is also very true that like Jeanene’s daughter, abusive relationships can be addictive and obsessive. Without Godly wise and caring guidance and intervention, it can become a pattern of choosing partners that are manipulative, controlling, and threatening. The statistics are staggering when it comes to the percentage of both women and men that have experienced some degree of abuse in a relationship. Many teens are normalizing this behavior and parents are not always proactive about conversations on the subject.

There are many families dealing with a loved one that is in an abusive relationship, and it can be emotionally exhausting. We might feel like giving up, but the Lord Jesus Christ offers us hope and we must grab it with both hands. Everything is spiritual, and this is a truth that many people overlook. 2Corinthians 10:3-4(NIV) says, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” A stronghold is a pattern of thoughts and behaviors that are introduced by the demonic and are not aligned with God’s truth. They are wrong beliefs and lies that impact attitudes, emotions, and behaviors in a harmful and obsessive way.

1Peter 5:8(NIV) warns, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”We need to watch out and remain on alert for obsessive and idolatrous thoughts because these are used by the enemy against us. When our children have these kinds of thoughts and behaviors, sometimes we don’t recognize it until they are in a serious situation. As we do our best to help them, we cannot afford to leave out the spiritual weaponry of faith and prayer.

God is greater than any problem or situation we could ever face, and we need to be confident that He is willing and able to help us. 1Corinthians 10:13(NLT) tells us, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” The answers and the way out come from God, and we need to trust in this with our whole hearts.

Whether it is a family member or our own personal abusive relationship, we must never give up on God’s grace, mercy, and power. We need Him and He wants us to lean on Him in every situation of life. 2Corinthians 10:4 reminds us that the weapons we fight with are not of the flesh, in other words, the human mind can’t come up with the powerful weapons that we use; as God’s children, our weapons are spiritual, and through Christ, they destroy any stronghold. So, never lose faith and never give up. Trust the Lord with all your heart, and have confidence that there’s no situation, no stronghold, that He God cannot heal, deliver, resolve, restore, and make better.■   

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“Don’t Give Up on God”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

At the rate the world is changing, with all the chaos, hatred, and violence, it’s hard to imagine how it can continue at this pace. A lot of us are confused, discouraged, and disillusioned. Life seems like one crisis after another, and we’re walking around with deep internal wounds from all that is happening. You may think to yourself, “what else can go wrong?” That’s a question that many are asking themselves, but the question that God would like us to ask is “what else can go right?” In Philippians 4:16, He gives us the strategy for escaping the woes of life. In this verse, He tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

In the New Testament, Jesus Christ was on a boat with his disciples when suddenly there was a fierce storm, and the disciples were very afraid. Mark 4:37(NLT) says “A very bad wind came up on the lake. The waves were coming over the sides and into the boat, and it was almost full of water.” It is very important for us to know that while this storm was occurring, our Master Jesus was inside the boat sleeping. Verses 38-39 tells us, “The followers went and woke him. They said, “Teacher, don’t you care about us? We are going to drown!” 39 Jesus stood up and gave a command to the wind and the water. He said, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind stopped, and the lake became calm.”

The storm that the disciples faced is a good analogy for the storms of life. A tumultuous situation can occur in the blink of an eye, just like it did with the disciples. And like them, we might cry out to God, “Father, why did you let this happen?!!! Are you going to let this problem sink me?” They thought that Jesus Christ was oblivious to their suffering and they assumed the worst. This is what many of us do when things get dicey. We panic. Jesus Christ was asleep during the storm and this conveys the reality that there is never a problem or situation that can surpass his enormous and incomparable power to handle it. In the storms of life, our Lord and Savior tells us to ‘be still and remain calm’ because through our faith, we will witness his unconditional love. We will see the many ways in which he will use his power to help us during the most difficult seasons of our lives.

Some of the disciples were expert fishermen, they knew how to handle a boat and no doubt had experience with a little bit of turbulence. They had confidence in themselves in this area, but in life, things will happen to shake our self-confidence. Life constantly reminds us that it was not meant to be lived without God’s guidance and help. Isaiah 58:11(NLT) tells us, “The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.”

The storms of life can cause us to question many things. They can invade and threaten our existences, but we must not lose faith in God. 1Corinthians 10:13(The Message) tells us, “13 No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” Our Lord and Savior tells us to ‘be still and remain calm.” Romans 8:28 tells us that our Heavenly Father causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He never leaves or forsakes us. No matter what the conditions and circumstances look like, God will always provide us with an escape route. Things may look difficult in the beginning, but as you trust our Heavenly Father with all that you are, He’ll make a way for you to be victorious in the end.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Your Escape Route”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

“But Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.”
Genesis 19:26 (ESV)

“Life is good. I have no complaints.” A dear friend said this to me not too long ago, but a couple of weeks after I spoke to him, he phoned again. With a very dejected tone in his voice, he expressed that he was feeling very down about his life. He felt that things were hard and said if he had a chance to do it all over again, he would do many things differently. Often during our conversations, he has talked about his “boys” and how they have it so rough because of their unhappy marriages. They complain to him all the time about their wives. He has always felt his life was pretty easy in comparison, because he is unencumbered with the responsibilities that his married friends have, but something has happened to change his perspective. His life took a turn that surprised him, and he sees things differently. He’s regretful, especially about his choice to end his last relationship, because now, he’s facing the most challenging time of his life alone.

All of us have been at a place in our lives where we regretted some of our decisions. It’s not a good feeling. We remember at one time feeling carefree, and we didn’t think about the possibility that circumstances might change. We didn’t heed God’s instruction to remain prayerful and close to Him so we can always hear His voice and follow His guidance. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT) that the Holy Spirit that indwells us “will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We desperately need the Spirits guidance, and we need to have a hearty prayer life so that we learn to recognize the Spirit’s promptings, because they guide and keep us on a safe path.

Many of us make ourselves comfortable with situations that do not require us to grow, evolve, and change for the better. Some of us remain in relationships that continually hinder and hold us back. We’ve discarded good relationships and held too tightly to bad ones. Like my friend, we always think we have more time to get ourselves straightened out, and we prolong the spiritual maturity and growth that will equip us for challenging times. We become stuck, because we refuse to accept that we should be spiritually growing and moving forward.

Some of us become stuck because we’re continually looking back to past mistakes, or because we want to recapture and relive the past. No matter the pull, looking back too long will cause us to lose stamina and momentum on this race called life. If we refuse to move forward, things can become catastrophic. The Old Testament record of Lot’s wife gives us a window to see how this can play out.

Abraham is called the Father of our Believing, because he was fully persuaded that what God says He is willing and able to perform. Hebrews 11:8(NLT) says, “It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going.” When God told Abraham to leave his homeland, he obeyed, and his nephew, Lot, went with him. Both uncle and nephew had lots of family, servants, and livestock, so much so that the servants of the two began quarreling. Abraham finally said to Lot in Genesis 13:8-11(NLT), “8 Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! 9 The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I’ll take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.” Lot chose Sodom because it looked lush and beautiful, but it was a treacherous place and doomed to be destroyed.

Before it’s destruction, the angel of the Lord gave Lot and his family instruction and said in Genesis 19:17(NLT), “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!” As the sun was rising one morning, the Lord rained down fire and burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 19:25-26(NLT) says, “25 He utterly destroyed them, along with the other cities and villages of the plain, wiping out all the people and every bit of vegetation. 26 But Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt.”

This nameless woman, Lots wife, refused to look ahead to what God had in store for them. Clinging to what was behind, she turned and her choice to disobey and to kick faith to the curb was sealed. Many of us are doing what Lot’s wife chose to do. We’re refusing to accept the truth that we must grow continually in Christ, and this is a process that will never stop.

My friend was once involved with a woman that very much wanted to be his wife. In my estimation, she was the best thing that ever happen to him. Everyone thought so, and he knew she was a good woman, but when things became serious, he brushed her off. He wanted to be free and saw the responsibility of taking care of a woman’s heart as burdensome and too much for him. He was clinging to this rather than understanding that we’re here on this earth to love others to our greatest capacity. He failed to understand that responsibility and accountability are benchmarks of spiritual maturity in Christ, and that we can’t steward greater blessings without accepting greater responsibility.

When it comes to relationships, some of us are stuck in the same patterns we had in high-school, and we haven’t matured much emotionally since then. Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt reminds us that we must have faith in God and do as Abraham did, which is to move when God says to move. This means that our relationship with Him must be a priority in our lives, so that we learn to recognize His voice and follow His guidance. Don’t become like Lot’s wife and hold too tightly to the wrong thing. Instead, make it a commitment to be flexible to God’s Will as He leads you to greater responsibility and greater blessings. ■

English Standard Version (ESV) The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Become a Pillar of Salt”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Jeremiah 33:3(ESV)
“Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things you have not known.”

Once, when I was going through a difficult time financially, I felt like I was drowning with no one to rescue me. I had been divorced for almost a year with two children to take care of. My life at the time did not resemble anything I had envisioned for myself ten years prior. Newly divorced meant that I would need to rethink the plans I once held for myself, because nothing seemed to be turning out the way I had hoped. I still loved my husband, but I was facing the reality of taking care of my children and myself. Our security felt unsteady and unreliable, and I was sinking in my mind and heart. Over and over again, often with tears strolling down my face, I asked God, “Why did you let this happen to me?”

I was bewildered with no idea why my marriage fell apart. I genuinely thought that we had achieved a unity and harmony in our marriage that other couples wished they had. How could I have gotten that so wrong? My husband wasn’t as happy as he pretended to be, and while he led me to believe our marriage was solid, for the longest time he had been waiting for an opportunity to leave. He found it when the kids went to visit their grands for the summer.

The pain wouldn’t go away, and I couldn’t shake my need to understand how things went so bad so quickly. A lot of people blame God for their sorrows. Even though I didn’t know the Lord the way I know Him today, I knew that playing the blame game was wrong and unproductive. I was looking for answers that would help me turn things around. I wanted to know how to get my husband back.  My life needed to change because I didn’t think I could go on dealing with that gaping hole in my heart.

As the divorce became complicated and at times very ugly, I was angry with God. “Where are You when I need You the most!” I’d cry out. The truth is that He was right there with me.  The psalmist said about the faithfulness of our Heavenly Father in Psalm 23:4(NIV), “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” God is with us no matter what we go through. He never promised that we wouldn’t have pain in life. Many of us are living testimonies that indeed we do. He helps us to endure the pain, and through His help, guidance, and comfort, we become spiritually stronger, and most importantly, our faith in Him grows.

God asks us to cut anxiety out of the picture, and to turn our sadness into thankfulness. He tells us Philippians 4:6 (NIV), “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” This is instruction from our Heavenly Father about how to handle the adversities of life. So, the question is never about God forsaking or abandoning us, because He will never do that. The question is always about why we are not trusting Him the way we should. It’s about our disinterest in getting to know Him better through His Word, and our failure to let Him prove that He is the only One that cannot fail.

In John 16:33(NIV), Jesus Christ said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Our Master Jesus didn’t hide the reality of life from us. In this world we will have trouble. Sometimes those we love the most will betray and hurt us the most, but we can’t allow this to take us down. We can have peace in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He overcame the world, and through his love, power, and strength, so can we.

God has not kept us in the dark about life in the Spirit. Through His Word, He has told us everything we need to know. We want answers about why our hearts were broken and why we were mistreated. Jesus Christ gives us this answer in John 10:10(NKJV). He said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” In this verse, Jesus tells us that the devil is the thief, and he is in the world to steal, kill, and destroy, but through Jesus Christ, we are overcomers! So, the questions we can’t seem to get answered must not be about what the enemy has done, but about the victory that Jesus Christ has won for us. We should be asking him every day how to please God and live for Him. When this is our focus, we will live through the peace, strength, and power of Christ. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “The Questions You Cant Get Answered”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Romans 5:3-5(ESV)
“3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

 “This is a tough one for me – I’ve never been alone and Kevin’s decision to leave me and the kids still doesn’t seem real to me.”

In my spirit, I felt that my friend Gwen was going through something. We’d usually talk at least twice a month, but it had been a while since we last spoke. I’d called her a few times and sent a couple of text messages, and it took a while for her to respond. When she did, her responses were brief, and that wasn’t like her. Gwen and Kevin had been married for twelve years, and the last two years had been tough. One of their kids has autism, and Gwen didn’t think Kevin was as supportive as he should have been. On a Saturday afternoon, my doorbell rang, and there stood Gwen. She stopped by on her way to her mother’s house and said she wanted to see me in person instead of telling me about her news over the phone. “He left me and the kids!” She belted out and fell into my arms as they seem to automatically move to embrace her.

Romans 5:3 says that we rejoice in our sufferings because they produce endurance. Endurance is a quality that is necessary to run this race of life that God has set before us, but when we’re going through something like Gwen, endurance may not be all that appealing. In fact, it’s probably the last thing any of us would want to think about. As a parent with mouths to feed, your mind is inundated with thoughts about how you’re going to support your kids and get from point A to point B. The thing we must recognize is that endurance is the ability that allows us to do that. It helps us to move ourselves out of heartbreak and into a place of resilience and strength. Endurance goes hand in hand with faith and hope, because even though things may look troubling, our faith in God sustains us and carries us through.

Psalm 95:6-7(NLT) says, “6 Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the LORD our maker, 7 for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today!” When our minds are racing with anxiety and worry, most of us don’t listen, but we should. We should listen to the truth that God tells us in His Word about His power, love, peace, and comfort. He is worthy to be praised and our gratitude for all He has done for us should prompt us to pay attention to His promise to help us. It is an extraordinary privilege to worship God and to do the things that please Him, but some of us have an accurate image of our Heavenly Father in our minds and hearts. Because of this, we can allow the difficulties of life to make us become emotionally detached from Him. Whether we know it or not, this is a deeper pain than any heartbreak or abandonment caused by a mere human being.

When we’re broken, and have others depending on us, we need the kind of comfort and assurance that only the Lord can give. God leads, guides, and directs us into the kind of life that pleases Him and fulfills us as well. He is our Shepherd, Refuge, and Maker. We’re His people and He has promised to take care of us. He allows us to rest in green pastures and leads us beside peaceful waters. He, and He alone, restores our souls and lead us in the paths of righteousness. We need to remember this when we’re faced with devastating loss.

No matter how damaged we are, God is forever and always our Shepherd. He said in Malachi 3:6(NKJV), “For I am the LORD, I do not change;” Titus 1:2 tells us that He cannot lie. He wants us to lean on Him because He has all power in His hands, and He is willing and able to help us. We must also be clear that we have a part to play as well. We must shift our false beliefs and thoughts away from defeat and self-punishment and allow God’s perfect love to cast out all our fear and anxiety. All the traumas and heartaches we endure will reveal some patterns of behavior that we need to release. They need to be removed from our lives, so God’s love has greater room to move and restore.

Psalm 146:5(NLT) says, “But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.” Our hope in God will not bring us shame. It will bring us victory, restoration, and renewal! Our hope in God will give us the strength to learn from our past mistakes and take back our power to love better and make better choices. We do not have to be held captive by the pain we’ve endured. We must be committed to ask for God’s forgiveness for all our sins. We must pray for wisdom and understanding, and we must pray and apply the blood of Jesus Christ in those areas in our lives where we need healing and deliverance. Although our hard times are unexpected and painful, God has something much brighter and better for us if we remain hopeful, keep our faith in Him, and focus our eyes on His love and power.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

 “Hope Will Not Put Us to Shame”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Why am I in this situation? How in the world did I get here? While I was married to my husband, I asked myself these questions almost every day, but when we began the relationship, things weren’t as bad as they had become.  When we first started dating, he was kind, generous, and he always put me first. Our courtship lasted a year and then we got married. Of course, the first month was an adjustment period. We both had pretty established lives before we got married; our own places, good job security, and financial stability. I didn’t think the few disagreements after we moved in together were unusual, but after six months, small disagreements turned into days of not speaking to one another. I never believed I was the kind of woman to disrespect myself or my man, but his mental and emotional abuse was too much. It brought out things in me that I never knew existed, and I was at the lowest point of my life.

Every day, there are women going through the same things I did. Some are experiencing much more dangerous situations than disrespectful name calling and a hard shove here and there. The thing that becomes very clear to anyone in an abusive relationship is that once a certain level of respect is lost, things spiral down a dark hole very quickly. It seemed that my husband and I were almost near the bottom. It felt impossible that he would make a change and begin to honor me. Too many horrible things had been said and done. The treatment was indeed the bottom of the barrel, and I felt the only thing I could do was brace myself for more pain.

I started to struggle in my faith and doubt God’s love for me. I felt abandoned not only by my husband, but by God as well. “If God will allow this hurt and pain then what do I have left?” I asked myself. 2Corinthians 13:5(NIV) gives us the reality check that answers some of the most challenging questions of life, like the ones I had as I struggled to come to terms with my life. It tells us, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” When things are going well, most of us never question whether we are living by faith the way that God commands us to, but when life goes sideways, we choose the route that most do, which is to blame God for the conditions we’re facing.

Some will even think that God is punishing them and that they must endure the hardship and suffer. They erroneously think that this is what God wants. He doesn’t. In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us what God wants for every person. He said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” God wants us to have a more than abundant life, and He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to make this kind of life available to everyone.

God will help us during the most difficult times of our lives. Psalm 9:9 (ESV) tells us, “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” When our faith is not where it should be and we are not putting all our trust in God, He still helps us, but we need to know that His Will is that we learn to walk by faith in a greater way. God doesn’t want to be at the same level of faith from year to year. Colossians 2:6-7 tells us that He desires us to be rooted and built up in Christ, and we are to be established and going higher in faith in Him. God wants us to follow His Word so that we avoid relationships that will not yield the kind of love and support He wants His daughters to receive from their spouses. Having faith in God means that we believe it is possible to love and be loved according to the example of Christ.

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV) says, “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” This is God’s standard. Of course, a wife must be equally as loving, kind, and respectful of her husband, but as women, we must know that God’s Will is for us to be loved and supported to this degree.

We must have faith that God is our stronghold in any condition and in every situation. Even when things seem impossible, Romans 8:28 tells us that He can turn them around and cause them to work together for our good, but we must be clear that He doesn’t want us to be mistreated just as He doesn’t want us to mistreat anyone either. It’s going to be necessary for us to hold up a mirror and examine ourselves. Self-reflection and being accountable to following the example of Christ is the best tool for anyone interested in living their best life.

Most of us spend our lives doing exactly what we want to do. Before we made consequential choices and decisions, we didn’t think to ask for God’s counsel or permission, and this method of approaching life will not yield the results we hope. Part of growing in faith is changing the way we think as we also pray for God’s guidance and direction. We also must develop a deeper well of love so that we are spiritually prepared to love others according to the example of Christ. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us that we are to be kind and forgive one another. This level of love for Jesus Christ and love and compassion for others is required to please God. It should be in our hearts way before we consider marriage. When it is, we will be better able to recognize and discern if a man does or doesn’t have the capacity to love us in the way that Christ does. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 “A Stronghold in Times of Trouble”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

James 1:2-4(NLT)
“2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

I’ve been on this Christian journey for many years, and I’ve seen and heard many stories from women that have endured horrific and destructive relationships. Looking from the outside, you’d never suspect that some of them have a care in the world. From high-earning professionals and professors to stay-at-home moms and Sunday-school teachers, women from all walks of life and varied backgrounds have smiles on their faces, but deep wounds in their souls. They try desperately to keep their tragic and abusive home life a secret, and no one knows the level of abuse they’re enduring. God gave the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, so that no one would have to live a life of pain. Healing is introduced in our lives as soon as we choose to believe this.

Psalm 62:8(ESV) tells us, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.” Our Heavenly Father is our safe place. This is the truth, but when we’ve been battered by life, it is sometimes challenging to fit those healing Words into the places that have been blocked by our pain. We can’t imagine the journey from victim to overcomer, and that through Christ we can actually move ourselves to healing and wholeness. The healing process isn’t easy, but it isn’t nearly as gut wrenching as living in fear, and the rewards are far greater than anything we can imagine. We’re never alone. Jesus Christ is with us every step of the way, and if we lean on his strength, Philippians 4:13 tells that he will empower us to do all things.

There are many misconceptions about domestic violence, and what constitutes an abusive situation or relationship. This has caused some that are being abused to be in denial about it. We can be tricked by our need to understand and empathize with the abuser, and this can push us deeper into the cycle of abuse. It’s not just physical. Abuse comes in different forms. It can be psychological, emotional, sexual, financial, and stalking as well. So, it isn’t always physical, but it is always about control and trying to steal someone’s power through manipulation, coercion, or other threatening behaviors.

It is common for the person being abused to blame themselves, but they are not to blame, and releasing the shame is a pivotal step towards healing. For some, abuse was present in their homes growing up, and for others it was completely foreign. No matter how abuse came to be introduced into a person’s life, it can ravage the mind, heart, and soul. God’s healing is necessary for restoration and repair, but we have to give Him space to move. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want us experiencing any type of abuse. He wants you to experience the beauty and depth of His love, power, and strength, but these beauties come by faith in Him. We simply must trust God and believe that He will come to our aid.  

Some aspect of difficulties and painful circumstances are facts of life for everyone. We all have baggage to unload and issues to work through, but God didn’t create life to be a series of painful experiences. He gave us life to enjoy our relationship with Him. Jesus Christ said in John 10:10(NKJV), “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have [it] more abundantly.” In this verse, Jesus makes us aware that we have an enemy, and this enemy is in the earth to steal, kill, and destroy. Our precious Lord and Savior came to the earth to deliver us from oppression and darkness, and to give us a more than abundant life. This is a life where we experience his wholeness and completeness every day that we are given.

An abusive relationship can seem like an emotional roller-coaster that never slows down long enough for you to get off. Our Heavenly Father is not unfeeling. He knows what we’re going through, and He wants to help us. To give Him room to move, we must meet God with a mind and heart that is hopeful towards Him and invested in the reality that He has all power in His hands. Colossians 3:10(NLT) tells us to “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.” We must be willing to release some of the old things that keep us drenched in a painful existence, and we must make our minds new with hope and faith in God. This gives Him room to move in our situations so that we can get off the roller-coaster of pain and begin to enjoy the freedom of living the life that He wants us to have. ■

 Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Give God Room to Move”, written for DomesticAbuseAwareness.Org ©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!