When Bitterness Gets A Rub

Posted on June 12, 2018 by daaorg1214

Hebrews 12:15(NLT) tells us, “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” During the time in which God inspired the Apostle Paul to write this epistle to the Hebrews, Christians were being horribly treated, and many were executed for the sake of the gospel. It was a very tense time and as one might imagine, people were stressed. We’re living in stressful times today, but I don’t think it compares to what those before us endured. Still, the pressure of dealing with various challenges can cause a person to behave differently than they might otherwise. This was true thousands of years ago, and it’s true today. Pressure can cause us to harbor the wrong emotions. So, God’s warning in Hebrews 12:15 is a very important one, because it informs us that what grows in our hearts can take root in our lives.

Our emotions and feelings can get out of hand when we’re under duress. This can cause bitterness to fester within, and we’re not always aware it’s happening. God’s desire is that we look after one another and be concerned about our brothers’ and sisters’ welfare. This is one of our Christian duties. It’s a way that God can work through us to comfort one another, especially during hard times. But when bitterness is operating within, we can’t always pickup love’s call. It gets blocked. Therefore, we must do all that we can to get bitterness out of our hearts.

Years ago, I was betrayed by someone that I loved very much, and it hurt me terribly. I agonized over the loss for many weeks. Unwilling to confront the situation with maturity and grace, or to accept any responsibility for how things turned sour, I became very angry. At the same time, I was dealing with an issue at work, and felt I was being treated unfairly by my boss. Both things did a whammy on my head and heart. It was as if I was looking at someone else live my life. I was unhappy, and snappy all the time. I treated people I cared about poorly, and I don’t think I had ever raised my voice in anger the way I did back then. It was an ugly time. I internalized the anger and disappointment I felt, and blamed others for it. I had become very bitter.

God tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT), “31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” God would not tell us to do something that we’re incapable of getting done. He’s not giving us a suggestion here, but a directive to put away the bitterness, along with all its compadres. He’s made us totally responsible and accountable for the evil behavior that comes with bitterness, and He’s also made it very clear that it’s a choice to do so.

Hurt, heartache, and disappointment are heavies. They weigh us down, but they are also part of the human condition. Not only do they cause us to experience an avalanche of other emotions, but they can make us feel as though things are not going to get better. The special person that’s chosen to move on, the friend that betrays us, the family member who abandons or that isn’t there when we need them most; these circumstances are painful, but they are burdens we don’t have to carry alone. God tells us in 2Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” He will carry the load of our hurt and devastation. He will pick up the pieces and make our lives all we dreamed they would be.

We can miss the grace of God if we continue to allow bitterness to take root in our hearts. A negative outlook spoils the growth of newness, and allows corrupt attitudes to poison our hopes. Through Jesus Christ, we can be so much better than this, but we have to want to be. God has warned us severely about letting bitterness take root because it is a contagion that is pervasive if allowed to go unchecked. It spills over into every aspect of our existence, and many of us have grown incredibly comfortable with it in our hearts. I know folks that have lived with bitterness so long that they won’t allow God’s love to go near it, not even to give it a rub.

The greatest thing that we can do for ourselves is to surrender our pain, anger, and disappointment to Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ. When we allow His love to takeover, bitterness is rubbed out, and our faith in Him is polished in the process! We need to ask Him to do a work in our hearts—to perform surgery on us through His love and give us a new heart. This should be our prayer—our open invitation to Him. He’ll do this for us, because He loves us, and He wants the joy of His glory to light up our hearts.■

You Deserve God’s Best!

Posted on May 15, 2018 by daaorg1214

In my opinion, the most insidious part of abusive behavior is manipulation. Many of us fall into this trap without realizing we’re doing it. There are things that we said we’d never accept, things that were a part of our zero-tolerance boundary, but gradually, we give up little pieces of it. We’re spoken to dismissively, as if our opinion has no value. Our level of commitment to the relationship is taken for granted, and we compromise the affection and warmth we deserve for even the smallest demonstration of care. Not only are we not getting what we need, we’re not sure we even know what that is anymore. We have to come to grips with the reality that manipulators can pull us in and pull us down before we know it. They are both perceptive and deceptive in ways that undermine our emotional well-being.

Any time we tune out our own self-worth for the sake of accommodating someone that isn’t emotionally stable or available, we’re denying ourselves the opportunity to develop spiritually. God is extremely interested in our well-being. In 3John 1:2, He tells us that He wants us to be in good health, and He wants our souls to prosper. Well, this can’t happen if we’re hurting ourselves and using someone else to do it.

God teaches us throughout His Word that the foundation of our relationship with Him is faith. In Hebrews 11:6, we learn that without faith, we can’t please God. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to us that all good relationships will be founded in pretty much the same way. Trust will be a central component. Not deception and manipulation, but wholehearted trust that is anchored in honesty, support, generosity, and kindness.

God’s Word gives us the perfect visual of what this trust looks like from all angles, His and ours. He tells us in 3John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” In John 3:16 (NKJV), Jesus Christ said, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” And in John 10:10, he said, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. God’s got our backs! All day and in every way, He’s taken care of us. Mentally, emotionally, physically, and most importantly, spiritually; He solidified everything we will ever need, and then He said, “Trust Me!”

He gave us the goods first, through our Lord and Savior, and then lovingly begs us to place our faith in Him so that we can share in all His wonderful treasures. Note that God did not ask us to place our trust in shabby, empty, or bottom-tier promises. He gives us eternal blessings and seals them with a guarantee that equals the unfathomable glory of His name. Let that one marinate with you a little bit.

He wants us to walk in truth. He gave us His one and only magnificent and powerful begotten Son, and through him we have life that never ends. God has made a more than abundant life available through Jesus Christ. Most of us would be happy with just an abundant life, but God deals in the exceedingly abundant! He’s made it possible for us to have more than we can possibly imagine through Christ. Ask yourself why?

Why did Heavenly Father give us these exceedingly precious blessings, and why is it so important that we know about His promises?

Here’s the uncompromising and unyielding truth, you will only accept what you feel you are worthy to receive. Your relationships will mirror this in every way.

God, the Creator of the universe, has given us such extraordinary blessings and promises, because He wants us to know how HE sees us. He wants us to measure our worth by HIS standard, not by the standard of someone that is narcissistic, selfish, and manipulative. That’s not the best, and you deserve God’s best. ■

The Salt in Your Salt-Shaker

Posted on April 24, 2018 by daaorg1214

I remember the first time that I heard Colossians 2:10(NLT), an indescribable feeling came over me. This verse says “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” The Holy Spirit did a work in my heart as soon as I heard those words. I have no doubt that it was because I had always felt so incomplete as a person; like no matter what I set out to do, I was doomed to fail. It got to a point where I felt that the safest thing for me to do was to just expect to fail at whatever I attempted. That way the disappointment would not come as such a surprise.

This was no way to live, but it was my reality for longer than I wanted, and my relationships with men followed suit; they were almost always disasters. God’s Word sparked hope in my heart, and I have to say that it was a scary place at first. The hands of my heart had been firmly clinched around a glass-half-empty existence. Part of the problem is that I grew up struggling with an image of God that I didn’t understand. I was trying to believe that He loved me, but couldn’t reconcile it with what others were saying and teaching about Him.

I had extraordinarily loving people in my life that were supportive and nurturing, but I also had individuals that were supposed to love and protect me, but didn’t. I saw and experienced things that no child should, and I always wondered why I was being punished. Why did God allow me to suffer? I could never enjoy my present for the dread of what might happen in the future. This created a dark cloud, and it lingered over my life for the longest time. I didn’t know how to identify it. I thought it was God punishing me, but as I matured spiritually, I came to understand that this dark cloud was the residuals of not knowing who God is, who I am, or why I’m here. It was the entrapment of fear.

God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. Ignorance destroys. It can destroy the lives of those who never learned to love with Christ in their hearts, and it can also destroy the lives of those under their span of influence and care.

Jesus Christ cleared up my confusion. He said in Matthew 5:13 The Message (MSG), “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.” In the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ, saltiness is the flavor of love, power, and goodness; God’s people should bring this seasoning to the earth. Without knowing that we’ve been empowered by God to bring the salt and to flavor the lives of all who know us, we might start to feel like garbage, but when we know better, we can do and FEEL better!

Understanding God’s love has planted a seed of light in my spirit. It has created a hunger and thirst in me for righteousness. It fed me in a way that fueled hope, despite my pattern of self-punishment. The bond between me and disappointment began to crack. I became confident in this person called Christ, and it led me to speak his truth to the one that had oppressed me. In that moment, I thought to myself, “Where did that come from? Is that my voice? Who said that?” This moment was a building block upon which my new future would rest.

1 John 4:18(NKJV) tells us, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” God does not punish. Embracing the truth that He’s on your side, that He will never leave or forsake you, and that He has a wonderful plan for your life; trust, this is the salt in your salt-shaker. Sprinkle it everywhere you go! ■

Deceived by Our Own Hearts

Posted on January 16, 2018 by daaorg1214

One of the most troubling patterns in a woman’s life is not recognizing when her own vulnerabilities are causing her to miss the mark. I’m reminded of someone that I know who, from outwardly appearances, looks like one of the strongest persons you’ll ever meet. Everything about her seems put together, and I’ve visited her home, it’s equally fierce. Beautiful furniture, impeccably arranged, and every room is spotless. She’s a very successful attorney with a penchant for younger men, and no matter how apparent the signs appear to be, she never suspects their infidelity or the fact that she’s being used for her money.

In the case of her current boyfriend, I’m personally convinced that he cares for her, but there have been numerous events that would have caused the average sister to turn him loose months ago. She hasn’t, and it’s troubling to witness. It’s not a good situation. When questioned about her choices, she says, “The heart wants what it wants.” Ain’t that the truth. That’s exactly why God warns us in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” To guard is to watch over in order to protect or control. The heart is a part of the soul, and God has charged us with the responsibility to watch over and protect it. He knows that our propensity is to allow our hearts to not only make our decisions and choices, but to rule over them as well. This governing position belongs to Christ. Only he is capable of always steering us in the right direction.

Guarding our hearts not only involves what we allow to flow out of it, but also what we allow to come into it. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:45(NLT), “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” This verse informs us that the heart has a treasury. It has storage capability, and sometimes it has some unnecessary and unhelpful baggage. All of us are works in progress, and part of our soul-work is to come clean to Heavenly Father about our stuff.

God has given us a mission in life. It requires our understanding of what He’s asking us to do, as well as our commitment to do it. Within our mission to please God and grow in Christ, there are certain tasks that we unequivocally must do, and confronting our baggage so we can get rid of it is one of them.

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that we can be deceived by our own hearts, because our hearts can and do at times lead us astray. Our human hearts can cause us to veer off the path that God wants us to be on. This is why He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God knows our futures. He knows the person that is best for the path that He has purposed and laid before us.

We should never allow the fear of loneliness to undermine our relationship with God and cause us to betray our own destiny within His plan and will. God wants the best for us, and when it is clear that we don’t have it, or that what we have isn’t building us up but tearing us down, then we must examine our hearts. Because if we’re trying to hold on to something that is harmful to our souls, fear is running the show. Whenever that happens, the outcome might cause us to look the part of someone who has it all together, but deep down, we’re falling apart, and we need God’s love to heal our wounded places.

We’ve probably all encountered a friend that doesn’t want to admit the truth to herself, and it might feel as though we’re not able to help, but prayer is the very best help we can offer. It’s a privilege to pray for them in faith. We should also let their examples remind us to put our own vulnerabilities in check, so that we can continually obey God’s Word and produce good things from the treasury of our hearts.■

Let It Go

Posted on January 1, 2018 by daaorg1214

The world is filled with chaos, and we would all do ourselves a huge favor by cultivating a relationship with someone who doesn’t add to it. For some of us, this is a tall order, because we have an underlying belief that draws chaos into our lives. This isn’t God’s Will for us, and it is very important that we know this truth. Heavenly Father is a God of order. 1Corinthians 14:33 informs us that He’s not the author of confusion, and 1Thessalonians 5:23 tells us that He’s a God of peace. He gives every individual the option of introducing His peace into their lives. To do this, sometimes we must let some things go.

Ephesians 1:3 (NKJV) declares, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.” This is an amazing reality! Through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father has blessed us with ALL spiritual blessings. ‘ALL’ means all. Colossians 2:10 (NKJV) tells us, “and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.” God has made us complete in Christ. Through him, we are a total spiritual package. It is absolutely available for us to walk in this, but we know that not all of us will choose to walk in what God has made available.

In Ephesians 4:24, Heavenly Father admonishes us to put on the new man. This means that we have to put on new thoughts, new attitudes, and new behaviors that line up with our new reality in Christ. We can’t be the same people we were two years ago, two months ago, or two weeks ago. God gives us a chance for renewal every 24 hours, and it is up to us whether or not we’ll make use of it. He reminds us daily that this earth is not our home, we’re just passing through. We’re interdimensional beings because our physical bodies are on earth, but our hearts and minds should be constantly at home in Christ.

Some of us might ask ourselves, “With all the spiritual blessings we have received through Christ, why does life have to be so challenging?” God doesn’t intend for His children to be the devil’s punching bag. He doesn’t want us to go through life constantly in a state of ducking and diving, but we cannot under any circumstances escape the reality that we’re here on this earth to learn lessons about the love of Christ. We are here to walk in partnership with God, to place our hand in His hand so that He can lead, guide, and direct us through the rocky terrain of our challenges. Our spiritual lessons are revealed in literally walking out our hand-in-hand relationship with God daily, but far too many of us are not focusing on walking with Him. Instead, we’re clinging to people, situations, addictions, or things. We’re holding these things too tightly, so the spiritual lessons we must learn are often about release and surrender.

Spiritual lessons not learned will always be on repeat; that’s part of God’s masterful design. If we don’t learn spiritual lessons the first time, situations and circumstances continue to circle back and present those lessons until we do. Sometimes, when they circle back, the consequences of not learning them are a little harsher than before. So, we would do well to open our eyes, be attentive to the Spirit, and learn the lessons that are before us. But the truth is that it often takes us a while to wake up. This is why my constant prayer is that Heavenly Father will help me to see what I need to see, in an effort to learn my lessons well.

God cosigns the overwhelming importance of spiritual lessons through the Apostle Paul in Hebrews 5:11-14 The Message (MSG). It says, “I have a lot more to say about this, but it is hard to get it across to you since you’ve picked up this bad habit of not listening. By this time you ought to be teachers yourselves, yet here I find you need someone to sit down with you and go over the basics on God again, starting from square one—baby’s milk, when you should have been on solid food long ago! Milk is for beginners, inexperienced in God’s ways; solid food is for the mature, who have some practice in telling right from wrong.”

Jesus Christ is the head of our lives. He wants to make them function with a harmony we simply couldn’t achieve without him. He starts us off with baby’s milk, but love will require us to digest the meatier, weightier nourishment of spiritual life. Lessons that require us to release those things that no longer serve us well are solid food, because they give us the strength to reach out and embrace the things that will propel us forward, with greater wisdom, love, and faith.

God is our sufficiency. He’s everything to us and we can’t do anything without Him. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God first and live righteously, so that we can remain covered by His blessings and protection. We can’t get this prioritization piece mixed up. We must not prioritize anything above our God. He will forever and always deserve the number one spot. Only the Lord can lead us to a life of endless possibilities, but it will require us to surrender totally to him. We must let go of anything that keeps us from growing in Christ. If we’ll be committed to do this, Jesus will help us kick the fear of discomfort to the curb, then we can be renewed continually as God’s love fills our empty spaces.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

God’s Love Doesn’t Hurt

Posted on December 19, 2017 by daaorg1214

A very good friend of mine has recently endured a tremendous amount of turmoil by the person she was in love with. Because his intention was to injure her at all costs, she feels completely broken, bewildered, afraid, and alone. This is truly not the way God wants His sons and daughters to live. He sent His only begotten Son to set us free, and a life of liberty is our right through the Lord Jesus Christ. God wants the best for us, and it isn’t His will that we’re punished by anyone. He doesn’t want us suffering any kind of abuse; emotional, mental, verbal, or physical. Love does not abuse.

1John 4:8(NLT) tells us, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Our Heavenly Father is the definitive authority on love because He IS love. He knows how love should feel and what it can do. There’s no greater power in the earth than His love. He tells us in 1Corinthians 13 that we can know all His secrets and mysteries, but if we don’t have His love in our hearts, we won’t amount to anything. This is all we need to know about how important love is. It’s the way God intended life to be lived. We’re His kids, and He wants us to love others the way that He loves us.

God informs us so much about His love in His Word because He doesn’t want us to be ignorant about it. John 10:10 makes it clear that we have an enemy, the devil, and he is a thief, murderer, deceiver, and destroyer. Subtle deception is one of the tools in his arsenal; he’s a counterfeiter, adept at tricking us into believing that something false is the real thing. This happens quite a bit in our love relationships. It’s natural to want to give love and receive it in return. Sometimes we allow this need to be fed by a person that can’t reciprocate love in a healthy way. We make this mistake because we haven’t learned enough about God’s love from His Word. We haven’t made His standard the one by which we recognize and understand love.

My friend says that she will never love again, but it isn’t clear that what she felt for her abuser was indeed love, at least not the kind that comes from Heavenly Father. 1Thessalonians 5:5 (NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” God’s love brings us into the light, so that we are not bamboozled by the enemy. His love opens our eyes to what real and true love is.

When we learn to love God’s way, we don’t have to be afraid of loving anyone, because 1John 4:18 tells us that God’s love will cast out fear. We begin to walk in the rich truth of this verse as we study and meditate on God’s Word. The more we know about His love, the more the indwelling Holy Spirit will help us to mature and grow into the people that God wants us to be. The Holy Spirit does this work within us as we commit ourselves to love God’s way.

1Corinthians 13:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” Love does not hurt. It encourages, inspires and motivates the giver and the receiver to love more. This is what we should learn from the example of Jesus Christ. Through his life, ministry, and sacrifice, we see the Father’s heart. He wants us to know that there’s a difference between love and fear, so that we can choose to give and receive His brand of love and walk in the freedom and wisdom that it brings. ■

Come into the Light

Posted on December 12, 2017 by daaorg1214

Someone once said to me that the older you get, the more you learn how much you don’t know. I agree wholeheartedly, and think this is particularly true when it comes to how we view our own selves. We think we know ourselves so well, but there are situations that catch us off guard. They can cause us to behave and respond completely out of character. So much so that we question what we’re made of. We might even begin to doubt our abilities and decisions, and allow fear to creep into our hearts. This happens quite often in relationships. We become involved with someone that hurts us to the core, and we vow that we will never allow ourselves to be hurt that way again. This seems like an approach that represents strength, but not exactly.

Bad breakups or abusive relationships can cause us to wall ourselves off. We do this sometimes without giving ourselves the opportunity to figure some things out. God has created us to be instinctual, empathetic, and intelligent beings. When we get hurt, through the Spirit within, He will bring us to a place of healing and wholeness, but we don’t get to sit down on this one. Our engagement in the healing process is crucial. God tells us in Ephesians 5:8 (NKJV), “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.” To walk in the light is a choice to exercise the energy and action to do so. The light of Christ is inside of us, so we’re not walking alone. He is with us every moment of every day. We were once in the dark, but through Christ we have a way to enter the light.

Philippians 2:12 tells us to work out our salvation with reverence and respect. When we gave our lives to the Lord and made him the head of them, we were born-again spiritually. Our human-spirits were recreated in Christ Jesus, and they became brand new. Our souls, on the other hand, were not made brand new. In Ephesians 4:23, God makes it clear that changing the way we think, speak, and behave is required, and it’s totally our responsibility. He will not overstep our free-will. God will not start throwing all the bad stuff out without our permission, and the Holy Spirit that lives within us will not make our hearts and minds automatically virtuous. It is a relationship. This means it’s a hand-in-hand walk that God is looking to establish with us. It is a step by step journey in which Christ leads us by the hand as we allow him to guide us into the light of healing. It’s a faith walk!

So no. The Holy Spirit doesn’t come into the inner sanctum of our beings and start shoving all the bad stuff out. If we’ve got some funkiness going on—if we’ve got some junk in our trunks, it’s our responsibility to do some housekeeping. This kind of soul-work is sometimes uncomfortable, but it is very necessary, and Heavenly Father has equipped us to get it done. God’s healing plan is one that involves acknowledgment, repentance, forgiveness, and release. If we cheat ourselves out of any one of these, our deliverance may be slow and more uncomfortable than it needs to be. However, please know, that repentance is not a negotiable step. It cannot ever be missed; not in our healing, and not in our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ.

When a child feels pain, the first question out of the parent’s mouth is “where does it hurt?” As we get older, we should be able to recognize pain with greater specificity, and deal with it with more maturity. We’re not perfect at it, but we are much more capable of helping ourselves in the process of healing than we believe.

In Ephesians 6:11(NLT), God tells us, “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” This isn’t a suggestion. God told us to put on all of His armor because we desperately need it. The enemy’s strategy is to keep us weighted down with the emotional heaviness that comes from fear and doubt. Making a person doubt themselves and feel insecure all the time is the devil’s specialty. One of the most common ways that we give in to this tactic is to hide behind our pain; to not confront it with the light of Christ. Instead, we cover it up with all kinds of behaviors and attitudes, some of them extremely negative and harmful.

God’s way is to invite us into the light of Christ, where clarity and goodness exists. Romans 8:38 says that nothing can separate us from God’s love. This is such an overwhelmingly comforting and healing Word from the Father’s heart. Nothing can separate us from His love; not pain, not shame, not insecurity or doubt. So, we don’t have to be afraid to look beneath the hood of all those layers that have plagued us for years. If we ask him, Christ will lead us through them, his love lighting the way every step. He has made us this promise, and he will always keep it. ■

Making A Change

Posted on November 28, 2017 by daaorg1214

When is it convenient to make a change? Most of us would answer “Never!” But a fact of life is that nothing stays the same. Many of us are seemingly deluged with an avalanche of problems. One of the reasons for this is that the engine of life moves vigorously forward, but we get stuck in neutral. It’s why the word ‘destiny’ is such an important one. Change for change’s sake may bring about some positive things, but change for the sake of walking in one’s destiny is literally altering the trajectory of a person’s life. God has planted the wake-up calls for this kind of change in our everyday lives. We need to make sure that our eyes are wide open so that we don’t miss them.

When it comes to making a change in our personal lives, there are two primary areas that are involved, our mindset and actions. We have a way of thinking that we’ve cultivated over our lifetimes, so our thoughts stem from a mindset developed through experiences and influences that have impacted us. If we’re keeping it real with ourselves, some of this is faulty programming. It leads to making poor decisions, wrong choices, and bad judgement calls. It isn’t always easy to admit this, but there can be no growth without an acknowledgement of error, and a desire to become better and stronger individuals.

1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” Darkness is synonymous with ignorance, and ignorance is not God’s Will for His kids. Many times, in His Word He makes it plain that He doesn’t want His people to be ignorant, and in Hosea 4:6, He tells us the reason why. He said that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. Many of us are asleep, and the devil will try to keep us this way. He doesn’t want us to be awaken to the enlightenment of Christ, because when we are, the lights come on and we begin to understand who God has made us. That’s when we really become dynamos for God’s Kingdom, and the enemy wants to stop this at all costs.

Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Ephesians 4:22(NIV), “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;” This is how we embrace the person that God wants us to be. We have to take off some old stuff and make room, so that we can put on the new and better stuff. This is the process of an elevated life. We can’t be the same people we were two years ago, two months ago, or two weeks ago. We’re to always grow and abound in Christ. This means that there are going to be those lightbulb moments when we realize that we’ve got some junk in our trunks, and we need to deal with it because it’s weighing us down and keeping us from the blessings God wants us to have.

You may not realize the things that you need to change, but the Holy Spirit is God’s gift living on the inside of you; he knows exactly what you need to change. You see, when we become stuck in the same routine, the same toxic relationships, the same drama, the same set of circumstances day in and day out, our vision becomes very limited. In a way, we are blinded by sameness, and we begin to think and act based on our limited view. Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) tells us “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” If we think about life without the benefit of believing in destiny and newness, we begin to draw to us the things we don’t want instead of what we want.

Many of us bypass the astounding wisdom revealed by Heavenly Father in Proverbs 23:7, but that is a big mistake. Heavenly Father created us in His own image. He is a creative God and we are a creative people. He has given us the incredible gift to change our circumstances by changing the way that we think and act. We’re not going to change every negative thing about ourselves in our lifetimes, but to the extent that we are not fulfilling our destinies in Christ and not accessing the life God intends for us, we need to draw closer to Him and make ‘change’ one our new best friends. Again, we may not know what we need to change about ourselves. We may not know what is blocking us from moving forward and going higher in Christ, but God knows, and if we’ll ask, He’ll tell us. ■

What Happened to That Person?

Posted on October 31, 2017 by daaorg1214

For as long as I could remember, I had been in love with Damon Kent. My family moved away for a few years from the town where I grew up. During that time, I changed of course and matured into a sixteen-year-old girl who could pass for a twenty-year old young woman with no problem. My foray into big city life had afforded me a new-found confidence, so the summer I returned to my hometown, I called Damon. It was a wildly bold move for me, but my time away had not been the most positive experience. I was hoping Damon would turn into my prince, that he would rescue me from the disappointments that came with maturing way ahead of most of my peers.

Damon and I talked the entire summer vacation. We had long conversations on the phone and my crush intensified. After returning from a place where I had no friends, was ridiculed constantly for my accent, and had to wear my mother’s clothes because nothing in the teen section would fit, I needed the ray of hope he offered. There was only one problem, my imagination was larger than life. I was never satisfied with just a little; I always had to take it to the nth degree, and nothing short of this would quench my hunger for the grandiose and extreme.

I imagined Damon and I walking to classes holding hands, stealing a kiss after study hall, and getting engaged in college. Oh yeah, I took it there and beyond, even though we hadn’t seen each other in four years. Finally, the day arrived. I, not having my license yet, would be taxied to high school to register for classes. Damon was attending band camp at school, and we planned to meet up. Butterflies couldn’t touch the huge pigeons flying around in my gut. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I tried to look my best, and felt confident that I did, but it was no match for the fact that I had grown over a foot taller than Damon. When he and his friends spotted me, they behaved like ten-year-old boys. I pretended not to see them, and soldiered on as I had always done.

He had been so incredibly kind and tender over the summer. “What happened to that person?” I thought. This is a question that seemed to plague many of my relationships, and countless others have asked it regarding those that have hurt and betrayed them as well.

I love the saying “go big or go home!” And one of my scripture favs is Ephesians 3:20 (NKJV), “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” The wonderful truth that God ‘goes big’ when it comes to blessing us floods my heart with joy. Even at some of the worse times of my life, I’ve always known that God wanted the best for me and that more out of life was available, but oddly enough, I looked to others to fill my cup instead of Him.

As the desire to partner took center-stage in my life, my big imagination gobbled up the individuals I dated. It was no way that they could meet those expectations, but I had a huge hole in my soul. I imagined that my love would be reciprocated from the object of my affection in such enormous proportions that it would fill me up and then some.

I needed to be loved, but I had not seen another person give the kind of love that I craved. I couldn’t even figure out how to love ME, with all my awkwardness and quirks. How was it that I expected someone to do for me what I couldn’t do for myself? It was a tough question, and 2Peter 2:9 has the answer. It tells us that the Lord knows how to rescue us from our trials. It finally dawned on me that I had been looking for love in all the wrong places. I needed to grow in the love of Christ, and at first it wasn’t so much about how I loved other people. It was about me allowing the roots of his love to grow down in my empty places. I had to trust that he loved me more than I could ever know. I encountered God’s love, strength and power in a way that anchored me as I had never been in my life.

God’s perfect love is the greatest reality of all eternity. Heavenly Father loved me to deliverance, and then healed my broken heart. My work continues to be one of surrendering my need to control how I’m loved by others, and I find that the more I release my need to control, the more my heart swells with gratitude and love for Christ. People will sometimes turn on us, for seemingly no apparent reason. When this happens, we have to remember that our identities are not shaped by what they give us, but by how we love them and ourselves through Christ. In John 15:9-13 The Message (MSG), He tells us, “9-10 I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done—kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love. 11-13 “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.”■

What’s In Your Heart?

Posted on October 24, 2017 by daaorg1214

I remember the first time I realized that my actions had caused someone important to me to experience feelings of deep hurt. It was a few months after the incident oddly enough. In the moment it occurred, I was very matter of fact about the harsh words that effortlessly spewed from my lips. I rationalized that I had spoken my truth and the person deserved to be put in their place. This woman considered herself to be a close friend of mine. It didn’t bother me one bit that she would no longer look upon me as the nice person she thought she knew. I didn’t have a filter, and for some reason my emotional register was low on empathy, especially when it came to certain unwise choices and actions that others had made.

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) gives us the mind-and-heart-set that God expects from His children. It says, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving is a beautiful thing, but even though we might have been born-again for years, some Christians haven’t quite hit the mark on these, and I was certainly in that group. Deep down, I carried anger in my heart. I was angry because people had let me down considerably, including the men I had dated. And to be quite honest, I was a little angry at God as well. I didn’t understand why so much had happened to me, and felt like He needed to cut me a break.

The anger, for the most part, wasn’t overt. It was cloaked in all the Christian niceties that are expected of us. I believed myself to be kind, sensitive, and compassionate, but there were certain areas where all that went out of the window. There were certain characteristics in a person that brought out the worst in me, and for a long time I refused to be held accountable for it.

Galatians 6:7 (NKJV) says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” In other words, if you put it out there, it’s coming back to you. We tend to learn this the hard way. I sowed seeds in the form of hurtful words, and when it came back to me, it did so with a vengeance.

One day, as I was going about my usual business, I overheard a conversation between what I presumed to be two friends; they were sitting at a table behind me as I was having lunch. Their conversation had been initially very jovial, but turned to a subject that should have been a very private matter. One of them made a joke about it, and became critical of the other. She didn’t stop, but seemed to get worse by the moment. I was drawn to listen because there was something oddly familiar about her tone. It slowly dawned on me that I was having a déjà vu moment, and I didn’t like the feeling at all. It was very disturbing. I found myself wanting the other person that was being spoken to in this manner to defend herself, to say something that would cut through the mocking and terribly insensitive words from her friend. I turned around, partly because I couldn’t believe my ears, and partly to make an attempt to show a face of solidarity for someone being treated poorly.

I saw the face of the woman who had sat silently, and the hurt was evident. It reminded me of someone that has grown used to harsh words being spoken to them, and just shuts down when it happens. I got up to leave, and that’s when I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit say, “This is what you did to Linda.” It felt like I was moving in slow motion when the Spirit’s words hit my consciousness. I got weak in my knees and could hardly stand. The fact that I had injured someone in the way that this woman’s friend had injured her was too much. It pierced me like an arrow, and I cried violently all the way home, and all night long.

It wasn’t just that I had inflicted hurt on another person, but that I had felt no remorse for it. I had been arrogant and puffed up for a long time. I felt the eyes of Christ spotlighting my walk that day, and the remorse I experienced was exceedingly deep. I had been immune to my own propensity to act out of anger and resentment, to leave a trail of bitterness rather than love. I had let the Savior down. I repented of my sin, and he forgave me.

His forgiveness and my realization that I needed to repent were not surface level realities. Deep calls to deep. His forgiveness reaches deep into our hearts, and heals it, but not until we pave the way. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” This verse helps us to better comprehend the omnipotence and omniscience of Heavenly Father. He sees all and knows all. He holds us continually before His face, and He’s looking for those of us with a certain kind of heart.

None of us are perfect. We all have things about us that we need to work on. We’re works in-progress, being perfected in Christ day by day as we trust in him, but we must realize that sometimes things like anger, resentment, and arrogance linger in our hearts. We must have the courage to ask God to show us what lurks beneath the surface, so that we can bring it before Him and repent. He’s looking for a heart that is wanting and willing to empty itself of these remnants of fear, so that He can strengthen us as we remain committed to walk in His love. ■

New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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